rozynyc
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Post by rozynyc on Aug 30, 2016 18:43:06 GMT -5
Takkanos are edicts.
Several years ago, the expense of a 'standard' frum wedding grew to what is a crippling expense to the middle-class family. Folks were borrowing and going deeply in debt to 'keep up with the Schwartzes'
Communal leaders gathered to come up with ways to help set an affordable 'standard' -- which include limits on menu selection, flowers, size of band, etc. There are many wedding halls in Brooklyn that have package deals. TO compare 2 recent weddings I've attended, at a 'regular hall the Kabbalas Paanim/Cocktail Hour included over 2 dozen hot dishes, large selection of salads, sushi, smoked fish, wraps, open sandwiches and open bar; the wedding at the takkaneh hall had 6 salads,fruit, sodas, fruit juice. Appetizer course comparison is duck over wild rice versus fish & greens. Main course: prime rib or chicken quarter + grilled chicken breast versus chicken quarter.
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Post by ima2one on Sept 1, 2016 11:14:31 GMT -5
Just saying hi.
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rozynyc
Committed
234.8 |198.2 | 150
Posts: 135
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Post by rozynyc on Sept 1, 2016 18:07:06 GMT -5
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Post by ima2one on Sept 6, 2016 13:34:05 GMT -5
What's the "old country"? And are you not at home these days?
Forget inviting people. Let someone invite you. You're just one person. Or get a few good books, and relax.
Glad your DS is doing well.
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brgmsn
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Post by brgmsn on Sept 6, 2016 20:47:33 GMT -5
8 miles EACH WAY??!! Yana, that's incredible to think of walking that. What if the weather is bad? I guess you wear flats? I can think of a million excuses not to walk. On the other hand, the books, and the friends sound lovely!
I need to start thinking about the holydays. I always have all the meals at my house. This year my cousin's daughter is at our local university so my cousin (her aunt) will have her one night and I'll get her the other. I'll invite my uncle, her grandfather, that night too. It's all too much to start to think about. So I won't!
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Post by ima2one on Sept 7, 2016 11:57:12 GMT -5
8 MILES??? Yowza. And I'm guessing no eruv. I'd stash a pair of decent shoes at the shul, and wear sneakers to walk. But no wonder you stay with a friend for Rosh Hashana!
I don't even want to think about the holidays yet. It will probably be me, DH, DS (only for Rosh Hashana), BIL and my dad for the first night only (he's not observant). The "problem" is that BIL is disabled, and will need DS' bed. But Dad is almost 87. In good shape, but honestly, I feel awful telling him to sleep on the couch. Then DS has to sleep on an air mattress, or at a friend's. (And since he's not home all that often, I want him to sleep at home, so I can see him.)
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Post by ima2one on Sept 7, 2016 12:06:59 GMT -5
Rozy, while I hate the idea of more "edicts," I'm very much in favor of the limitation on wedding expenses. A (non-religious) friend was just telling me about a wedding she attended that must have cost 6 digits. The couple could have made a somewhat less opulent, yet still lovely, wedding, and had a healthy chunk of money to put towards a home, or just savings. Or, more likely, mom and dad's retirement fund, since they're probably the ones who paid for it. We need to lower expectations.
Maybe we need to do it in everything. I had a bunch of people over for Shabbat lunch. The same friend mentioned above asked, "what do you serve? Bagels?" Ummmm .... regular salad; arugula beet and orange salad; cucumber salad; broccoli salad; salmon; brisket; meatloaf (for DH, who loves meatloaf); roasted chicken; chicken cutlets; roasted eggplant; roasted butternut squash; roasted asparagus; green beans; roasted potatoes; mashed potatoes; risotto; cake; fruit. Plus challah and wine, of course. And we wonder why we all need WW. But that's what everyone in my community serves, and I'd feel funny doing less. So, yeah, bring on the edicts.
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brgmsn
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Posts: 14,211
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Post by brgmsn on Sept 7, 2016 18:13:01 GMT -5
I am not religious in the sense you ladies are, so please understand my questions and comments come from that place. I feel like I overcook for every holiday. My family would totally agree. I have probably 15 people each night (we celebrate erev and first night of RH) and have leftovers the rest of the week. But I am totally in shock at the amount of food you just listed for a lunch! I know how much I spend on the holidays, and I always am in shock at that! It's very expensive to entertain, isn't it?? And I can't serve the same food the next night! Plus, we have eldest daughter who is a vegan, and next daughter is vegetarian (which is very easy, compared to vegan).
I think so many weddings are over the top no matter who is doing it. And half end up in divorce.
Could you put a cot somewhere for your father? Or you sleep on the sofa and give your father your bed?
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