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Post by louise on Aug 29, 2016 23:42:51 GMT -5
What’s on your mind — how to make kugel? this week’s Torah reading? life goals? prayer? We are all engaged in weight loss/weight maintenance journeys and we are all Jewish or at least interested in Judaism. We like to eat, we like to discuss. It is our goal here to provide each other support on our journeys, to share experiences, to call on our rich cultural heritage and texts, and to help each other grow spiritually.
Some of us take weekly turns starting the thread:
Angelika
Holly
Lee
Louise
Lynne
Peachy
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Post by louise on Aug 29, 2016 23:44:16 GMT -5
This is from Merle Feld again. A part of my path out of, or maybe through, my mourning state has been to look to various texts to help me keep reframing wherever it is that I am. This one goes through some dark spaces but (spoiler alert) ends on an optimistic note. I think there are some kernels in this one that we will all be able to relate to.
Recognizing a moment of happiness
Along Brooklyn streets my mother and I
pulling the heavy shopping cart,
singing together from Oklahoma…
Splashing in the sunlight of the community pool,
Lisa’s arms then Uri’s clasped fast
round my neck as the water cools us,
as we dunk and giggle, dunk and giggle…
With Leah at that Shaker table in her kitchen,
she puts aside the knitting
to listen more intently.
I passed through such moments of happiness
unscathed, all the while doggedly clutching
in my tight fists anticipated catastrophes
and the crumbs of tragedies
I could neither have averted nor remedied,
unable or unwilling to just
let the fear and pain fall
from my fierce grip, unable or unwilling
to loosen my tight grasp lest a single crumb
of pain escape. Only now
does it seem I am finally willing
and sometimes able to relax my hands,
unclench the tight fists, to open,
and finally embrace
the happiness shining through
special moments and moments ordinary.
Only now do I finally understand
that all along the choice was mine,
even on terrible days – remain a prisoner of terror,
or dare to celebrate the sunlight on the grass.
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Post by louise on Aug 29, 2016 23:48:48 GMT -5
Besides the overall theme of holding on tightly to things that my be toxic there is a flavor for me of my WLJ. Sometimes I know I'm clutching the weight because it's the problem I know. The fat is a protective fortress - protecting me from what, I'm less clear about. So you mean I have a choice? Radical!
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lee058
This space for rent
Posts: 23,258 
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Post by lee058 on Aug 30, 2016 6:46:13 GMT -5
Good morning everybody. Hope everyone is well today. It looks like it's going to be another beautiful sunny hot day here in VA.
Louise, I am going to have to think about what you said before I comment.
I'll be back later. Have a peaceful day everyone, Lee
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Post by peachymom1 on Aug 30, 2016 10:28:39 GMT -5
Yesterday I was at first annoyed when a coworker joined me for lunch. I really wanted to be alone with my healthy lunch and my crossword puzzle book, but there was no polite way to get away from her.
This coworker talked the entire time about her children and how awful they are. She's done this before, many times, in the office. This time, though, she told of her DD getting married a couple of weeks ago and barring her mother from attending. I know there is a long history of hurting and manipulation in this family, and I've never met the woman's children, so of course all I hear is her side. I admit I tend to think she brings most things on herself, but it's not my place to say so.
But the wedding thing made me sit up and take notice, and my heart ached for this woman. My own daughter is getting married next year. How awful it would be if she told me I couldn't come. In fact, when DD was engaged the first time, things were so difficult between us at the time that I wasn't sure she was going to let be present then.
What does this have to do with the topic today? It made me grateful that I can find happy moments throughout my life, even during the times that were dark and difficult. Singing songs with my sisters in the car. Rocking in my chair with my babies. Welcoming a new friend to the Shabbat table. Reading Torah without making any mistakes and seeing the proud smile on my teacher's face. Turning to DH when things got really tough, and knowing somehow we would make it because we had each other.
I hope my coworker finds some peace and can somehow make things right with her DD. All I could do yesterday was lean over and pat her hand and say I was sorry things had happened that way. I'd kind of like to track down her DD and go kick her in the tuchus, but that's not my place either...
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Post by savtele on Aug 30, 2016 10:54:36 GMT -5
Boker Tov All! WOW! This poem took me through a gamut of emotions - from the joy of bringing home the groceries (singing Oklahoma in the streets of the city while pulling home a shopping cart full of stuff), summer days playing at the pool with the kids, and then the intimacy of sitting at a friend's table, sharing conversation that is too good to be distracted by knitting....those moments of joy - that actually could help to bring me through the other moments more or less "unscathed!"
Which is the word I focus on. Unscathed. Whether unscathed by the joy or by the crumbs of grief held tightly - I could be unscathed. I would love to be "scathed" (is that a word?) by joy! I'm not sure how that works, since "scathing" is a rather negative word.
My oldest grandson (who is now 2 years clean & sober) is getting married in October. We are all excited. His fiance just graduated & is a counselor for teen moms, helping them get housing, etc. So things will be head-over-heels busy here for the next month & 1/2!
Have a good day ladies
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Post by louise on Aug 30, 2016 10:58:25 GMT -5
Sounds like a lunch from h*ll. I see that she didn't notice that you were sitting with your puzzle book and probably had no idea she was imposing on you - that's kind of telling right there.
Bottom line is that while I shudder to think of what happened to cause the daughter to do this I, like you, don't think the mom is innocent. Peachy, you have always been outstanding at 'unclenching your fists and letting the happiness shine through.'
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Post by gazelle18 on Aug 30, 2016 13:20:04 GMT -5
What a wonderful poem. I identify very much with the emotions expressed by the poet. I believe that I often cling to things (including my weight) because they are what I know and it is scary to let go of them. The poems brings up to me the image of muscles clenched tightly, with fear, with anxiety, with dread, with stress. Something or someone will cause the muscles to slowly uncoil, allowing peace and joy to work their way in, like a skilled masseuse!
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Post by hollygail on Aug 30, 2016 16:32:30 GMT -5
Change... I copied something this morning about change. I'm gonna look for the URL and post it.
Found it!
www.aish.com/sp/pg/49082201.html?s=mm
Yes, it's from Aish (Orthodox). Take a look. Very interesting, especially the concept of making changes gradually. Opened my eyes; I'm usually in the camp of "do it all at one time, NOW!" and the article made it clear to me that that's not really reasonable (at least, not always reasonable).
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