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Post by gazelle18 on Oct 17, 2016 23:11:02 GMT -5
What’s on your mind — how to make kugel? This week’s Torah reading? Life goals? Prayer? We are all engaged in weight loss/weight maintenance journeys and we are all Jewish or at least interested in Judaism. We like to eat, we like to discuss. It is our goal here to provide each other support on our journeys, to share experiences, to call on our rich cultural heritage and texts, and to help each other grow spiritually.
Some of us take weekly turns starting the thread:
Angelika
Holly
Lee
Louise
Lynne
Peachy
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Post by gazelle18 on Oct 17, 2016 23:37:35 GMT -5
Hi everyone!
So, today, there is a confluence of factors coming together which makes me think quite a bit about taking stock of where I am in my life.
1. It is at long last autumn down south. There is something so amazing, so clear, so holy about autumn. The colors are deeper, the sky is bluer, and the whole world seems "ripe."
2. It's my BIRTHDAY! I am 62 now, which I consider to be in the "autumn " of my life. (By the way, I have always loved that my birthday is on the 18th, which of course is "chai.")
3. It's Sukkot, which is also known as the Festival of the "In-gathering." In olden days, the actual harvest would occur earlier in the summer, but the crops would stay in the fields for drying out, etc. Sukkot celebrated the final step of the agricultural year, when the crops were gathered and brought in. NOwadays, Sukkot can be thought of as a time to gather in all of the fruits of our labors over the past year. It can be a time for reflection about the progress we have made in our lives - our work towards wisdom, greater patience, deeper spirituality, better health, or whatever endeavors we undertook this year to be better people.
Topic of the day: can you think of one way in which you have matured, or improved, in the past 12 months, since the High Holy days of 5776?
I have matured in the way I relate to my adult kids. Instead of fretting about things I cannot change, I am slowly learning accept them as they are. This is a huge step for me, and it has not been easy, but I am getting better.
I am taking stock of my life and feeling grateful. How about you?
3. It's Sukkot.
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Post by happysavta on Oct 18, 2016 0:27:00 GMT -5
I've matured in the way I relate to my DS#4 who has Autistic Spectrum. At 36, he's an adult, perhaps an immature one, but an adult none the less. I can't be "mommy" to a little boy anymore. He has to step up to the plate and direct his life and I have to step back and let him make mistakes and stumble.
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Post by peachymom1 on Oct 18, 2016 9:46:59 GMT -5
HAPPY BIRTHDAY TO LYNNE!!!!!!!!!!!!
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lee058
This space for rent
Posts: 23,269 
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Post by lee058 on Oct 18, 2016 9:54:05 GMT -5
Good morning everybody. Hope you are all well today. I'm feeling good and am enjoying the record-breaking warm weather.
As for today's topic, I think I've changed since last year. I think I am more grateful and appreciative of the good things in life, among other things. I am trying to be less reliant on excess food to help my moods get better, and to eat somewhat more wisely. I hope I am more patient with myself, especially about my health problems, and that I am doing more of what I need to do to take care of my needs. I also hope that I am being kinder and more responsible towards my family and friends, and helping them with their problems, too.
I've noticed that I am reading fewer books, but more online. I've always read a lot, so this is a change for me. I feel like I am more current in my reading the news, for example, even though I have to skip the more disturbing aspects.
I am trying to be more patient with my mom over the phone (we talk every day). She has been having more problems with her health and moods, and has also been more forgetful. I am trying to help her without letting her feel badly about these. It can be difficult, but I am doing my best.
BTW, re my friend that I wrote about: I heard back from him, and he appreciated my writing to him. I told him (among other things) congratulations on having an existential crisis; he would emerge a wiser and better person because he was thinking about these important issues. I hope he takes my advice on seeking help in dealing with this. Thanks everyone for your comments and suggestions.
I'll be back later. Have a peaceful day, Lee
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Post by peachymom1 on Oct 18, 2016 10:03:19 GMT -5
In the past year, I have let go of some things about my parents that I didn't realize I was still holding onto. Just as I have to back off from my kids and let them be who they are (and who THEY decide to be), I also have to step back from my parents and remember that they are who THEY choose to be.
It rained hard here on Sunday night, and it really felt like autumn when I got up yesterday morning. This is unusual for SoCal; it's usually still blazing hot on Sukkot, but yesterday was just beautiful, sunny but not hot. It's looking nice out this morning too, and I'm reading Torah this morning. Everyone have a wonderful day, and I'll be back later!
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Post by savtele on Oct 18, 2016 10:17:34 GMT -5
Happy Birthday to Lynne!
& Boker Tov All! At this time our bereft little sukkah is still standing..... John had covered it in plastic tarps.
I also love Autumn! Sukkot is my favorite Festival. There is something about the abundance of the earth, just as everything goes dormant, the angle of the light when the sky is clear, and the wan sunlight that floods everything with amber/ale-colored light. Trees bursting into bright reds, purples, oranges & yellows before the wind knocks all the leaves down. My neighbor down the hill from us (who calls his place "Charlie Horse Ranch") has sugar maples growing along the road outside his fence - they are a column of bright reds/oranges as we approach our drive. I love winter squashes - with their wild shapes & bright colors - they are decorations all by themselves, and then they are delicious!
One thing that I can say about maturing/improving with age: I do find that I am more mellow. I seem to have been learning over time, that I cannot control anyone but myself, and even that is difficult sometimes. I can offer advice and suggestions, but I can't take it personally if my suggestions aren't followed.
We are supposed to have thunderstorms today. The good news: if there are lightening strikes, there is very little chance of anything catching fire, with all the rain we've had!
Have a good day ladies!
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Post by happysavta on Oct 18, 2016 12:26:44 GMT -5
Lynne, in honor of your birthday, I am going to get up out of my chair and dance for 3 minutes and 23 seconds to this youtube url. It's the original and very lively Israeli song, "Happy Birthday" that competed in the annual Eurovision competition in 1999. www.youtube.com/watch?v=-Sx-8yyXFkI or just google "Yom Huledet" Eurovision 1999. |
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Post by louise on Oct 18, 2016 13:15:28 GMT -5
With your indulgence I have something else on my mind right now. At your shul is there Kiddush after services? Does it start with the prayer over wine and a motzei over challah?
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Post by hollygail on Oct 18, 2016 14:51:41 GMT -5
♫♪♫♪♫♪♫♪♫♪♫♪♫♪♫♪♫♪♫♪♫♪♫♪♫♪♫♪♫♪♫
♫♪♫♪ Happy Birthday to you ♪♫♪♫♪♫♪♫♪♫♪
♫♪♫♪ Happy Birthday to you ♪♫♪♫♪♫♪♫♪♫♪
♫♪♫♪ Happy Birthday, dear Lynne ♪♫♪♫♪♫♪
♫♪♫♪ Happy Birthday to you ♪♫♪♫♪♫♪♫♪♫♪
♫♪♫♪♫♪♫♪♫♪♫♪♫♪♫♪♫♪♫♪♫♪♫♪♫♪♫♪♫♪♫
Hope you have a great day!
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Post by louise on Oct 18, 2016 15:04:01 GMT -5
That's the way we do it, Lynne. And if there's a bar mitzvah or something there is a giant challah. We are a conservative shul. I think for him it's about not hand washing before and that we don't say birkat hamazon (Grace) after. So he doesn't eat any bread and doesn't say the motzei. So he will start the prayer but not finish it or motion to one of the kids to say it. On Shabbat so many people join in that it is not noticed. At a service like today and yesterday when we only have about 25 people it was very noticeable (to me) and I was confused this morning as to whether or not to start cutting the challah!
I mention the giant challah because it is "ceremonial" - meant for simchas. I feel like so what's the learning? Is this part of how we sanctify this or not? I guess only the wine is sanctifying anything but still we have been practicing these as the opening rituals - are they halachically incorrect? Should we offer handwashing beforehand for those who want to do that?
We started discussing this in the sukkah at Kiddush but it was clear that I was pissed off about it so he suggested we continue the discussion at another time. I regularly do things that he will not do e.g. he is concerned that the clock is wrong and wants to end on time, I show him my watch, he asks me if my watch is correct, I end up taking out my iPhone. He can't do that on Shabbat, I'm not shomer Shabbat, we're both happy. A dance we do. In this case though we're doing a ritual as a community.
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Post by peachymom1 on Oct 18, 2016 15:36:59 GMT -5
Your rabbi is correct not to say motzi himself if he isn't going to eat bread. If he's just going to have a cookie while shmoozing after services, for example, he would say the blessing for that ("...borei minei mezonot") by himself just before eating it, then presumably go home and make kiddush and motzi over wine and bread at home, and have lunch. But since your shul provides challah for the congregation, that presumes people are going to eat it, and anyone eating it is required to say motzi. If your rabbi doesn't plan to eat any of it, he should arrange in advance for someone to say motzi who IS going to eat some. The wine does sanctify the holiday, but you still have to say a blessing over whatever you're eating, so kiddush alone isn't enough.
As for the hand-washing, our shul doesn't do it, and we don't do it at home, even on Passover. The hand-washing ritual is a reminder of what the priests did in the Temple. Some people do the hand-washing in remembrance of the priests and in the hope that the Temple will be rebuilt. We (DH and I and most of our community) don't feel we need to emulate priests, nor do we have any wish to see the Temple and animal sacrifice reinstated, so we don't do the hand-washing. If I'm at someone else's house and they do it, I'll do it too, but I don't personally find any value in it. But kiddush and motzi, absolutely yes.
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Post by louise on Oct 18, 2016 15:51:25 GMT -5
He elects not to eat the bread because of the hand washing and birkat hamazon. I agree with you, Peachy, in that if he had told me that, I would say the motzei and relieve him of it while not feeling personally compromised. I guess my problem is that a) he never did that and b) we apparently have a ritual in place that he does not personally agree with (or can't personally abide by).
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