Jewish Musings, Fri/Shabbat Oct. 21-22 Chag Sukkot Sameach

[gazelle18]

What’s on your mind — how to make kugel? This week’s Torah reading? Life goals? Prayer? We are all engaged in weight loss/weight maintenance journeys and we are all Jewish or at least interested in Judaism. We like to eat, we like to discuss. It is our goal here to provide each other support on our journeys, to share experiences, to call on our rich cultural heritage and texts, and to help each other grow spiritually.

Some of us take weekly turns starting the thread:

Angelika
Holly
Lee
Louise
Lynne
Peachy

[gazelle18]

Hi Everyone, and Shabbat Shalom,

For those of you who may have missed it, last evening Louise posted that her job is in peril because her company is losing $. Frieda offered some excellent advice.

Those of us who post regularly have been through a lot together. We have encouraged Frieda and Lee re: their sons, and cheered when Lee's son landed a job recently. Louise lost her beloved DXH. Peachy has had some awful health scares, and her favorite rabbi died. I could go on and on, but suffice it to say, we have all had our shares of bad stuff.

Although (except for Holly and Peachy) we only know each other through our thread, I believe we are friends. So, what are friends for?

I had planned to do something else today on the topic of autumn, but when a friend is going through "stuff" and might benefit from your presence, you change course, right?

Topic for the day: What words of comfort, advice, caring, and/or wisdom can we offer Louise at this time?

I will give this some thought and weigh in tomorrow when i am not so tired.

[louise]

How very lovely to direct good vibes to me. I very much appreciated Frieda's post last night and others chiming in. We are a pretty incredible group and I believe we have all become friends.

As for my situation I don't know when "it" will actually happen, but I have been warned. I may change when the change actually does happen but what I feel right now is this is a time for me to take control of my life and kind of get ready for opportunities that may come up. It's right in line with my "less weight, less pain" initiative and cutting out the sugary foods. This is another reason to redouble efforts in taking care of myself. This is definitely not a time to crawl into a hole.

[lee058]

Good morning everybody. Louise, maybe it would help to look at the metaphors of the season of autumn to help you with the job situation. It sounds to me like you will be going out in a blaze of glory, like the changing leaves. It's also sad, like the inevitable steps towards winter, but even that has some good in it. I think it's fabulous that your boss offered you such a HUGE severance package; I've never heard of anyone getting several months worth of pay. That should help cushion the blow, kind of like our digging out our beautiful cold-weather gear of scarves and coats that we love (we did only save the stuff we love, right?). At any rate, even though change can be painful, there will undoubtedly be lots of new good things going on too! Your friends here will be thinking of you and sending you good energy, and hopefully that will help too. Good luck!!

As for me and DS, tonight is the last night for awhile that he will be working the evening shift, 5-9PM. Tomorrow (!), he starts working the early morning shift, 6-11AM. I'm sure we will be tired tomorrow, but I'm hoping that if we take it easy today before we have to leave to get him to work plus tomorrow after he gets home, we will be fine. I'm sure we can cope; it's just kind of abrupt.

I'll be back later. Have a peaceful day, Lee

[savtele]

Boker Tov All! (((((Louise!)))))) - I read last night's post & comments. You have truly had a difficult year! I loved what Frieda said to you & the responses to that - and now, here is Lee with some of the best-thought-out comments I can imagine!

Even the "winters" of our lives are necessary. They are the down times, the dormant seasons, when we gather information, strength, and sometimes new direction for the next part of the journey. The comforts of winter are all self-made, and have been gathered over the past seasons. You have been gathering comforts throughout the years also, although after this year you might well be feeling like your storage is running low! That's where your friends come it - we hopefully show up for you, with "care packages" - a kind word, a hand pat, a hug.

I'm taking mom shopping today. We are between storms again, so hopefully we can do this without getting too horribly wet!

Shabbat Shalom, Everyone!

[peachymom1]

Good morning everyone! It's an absolutely beautiful day here, and I plan to take a walk during lunchtime to enjoy it.

Louise, I've been in danger of losing my job a few times, and did actually get laid off twice. The first time, it was due to the acquisition of the company I worked for; they didn't need my boss anymore (they already had a CFO), so they didn't need his assistant anymore either. They did give me a generous severance, thank God, and it wasn't hard to find a new job at the time. The second time, I worked for a start-up company that was having financial trouble, so they laid me off with just three weeks of severance. It took me six months to find a new job (the one I have now), with my twin sons' bnei mitzvah looming, and it was terrifying. But I did get through it, and I'm happy with my current job. Sometimes all we can do is stand up straight, spit adversity in the eye and march right through it until we make it to the other side.

I do have to say, though, that other than moral support, the one thing that helped me the most was regular exercise. It made me feel better, kept me on a schedule, and cleared my mind. I highly recommend it, even if all you can do is ten minutes of stretching or a short walk. For me, getting the body in motion helped me get everything else in motion too.

I hope everything turns out well for you. Maybe things will take an unexpected turn that will be even better than you think. You just never know. Hugs, hand pats and all good vibes going your way!

Shabbat shalom!

[happysavta]

I loved and admired that Louise's way of getting ready for change is to firmly avoid going into a sugar fog. Louise, you are one strong and resilient woman! Emotionally you face the fear. Unemployment. There, we've said the bad word. Mentally, you make a plan to look for new opportunities. But physically, it's a challenge to connect the dots between this next meal and being able to work.

Traditionally, I've lived my life from the neck up, intellectually strong, but physically weak. I never connected the dots from meal to meal. Thankfully, danke Gut, it's never to late to get better. Even a little better is progress in the right direction. Thank you, Louise and all of you who write in every day for reminding me to move.

[hollygail]

I rarely quote Rabbi Harold Kushner; however, this is from his When All You’ve Ever Wanted Isn’t Enough, Fireside Publishing

I was sitting on a beach one summer day, watching two children, a boy and a girl, playing in the sand. They were hard at work building an elaborate sand castle by the water’s edge, with gates and towers and moats and internal passages. Just when they had nearly finished their project, a big wave came along and knocked it down, reducing it to a heap of wet sand.

I expected the children to burst into tears, devastated by what had happened to all their hard work. But they surprised me. Instead, they ran up the shore away from the water, laughing and holding hands, and sat down to build another castle.

I realized that they had taught me an important lesson. All the things in our lives, all the complicated structures we spend so much time and energy creating, are built on sand. Only our relationships to other people endure. Sooner or later, the wave will come along and knock down what we have worked so hard to build up. When that happens, only the person who has somebody’s hand to hold will be able to laugh.

Louise, you have the hands of each and every one of us; and we promise that you will be able to laugh again.

[gazelle18]

Great advice from everyone!!! Not much I can add. I hope everyone has a lovely Shabbat. Take care, Louise, and everyone else!

[brgmsn]

Louise, I'm hoping you see this at some point. I have been laid off myself. I know what that feels like. Being fired is one thing--you did something that may or may not have been the right thing. But being laid off is beyond our control and has nothing to do with how hard we work. That's what I found so disheartening when I was. And I had no warning. Just closed our hospital unit.
I gathered myself for a few days, and wallowed in self pity, then got a plan.
Please, update your resume. You have so many wonderful, employable qualities that any number of places would be fighting for! Don't forget all your temple organizational skills too. they count!
Network. I'm sure you've made connections in your time there and even in the temple. In our temple there's always someone who knows someone.....use that.
Be kind to yourself. treat yourself as nicely as you would do a friend in the same situation.
Big hugs and hand pats to you