Jewish Musings, Wednesday, October 26, 2016

[peachymom1]

What’s on your mind – how to make kugel? This week’s Torah reading? Life goals? Prayer? We are all engaged in weight loss/weight maintenance journeys and we are all Jewish or at least interested in Judaism. We like to eat, we like to discuss. It is our goal here to provide each other support on our journeys, to share experiences, to call on our rich cultural heritage and texts, and to help each other grow spiritually.

Some of us take weekly turns starting the thread:

Angelika
Holly
Lee
Louise
Lynne
Peachy

[peachymom1]

Boker tov! Ah! Now that all the fall holidays are over, welcome back to everyday life!

I have a general question for you. What does spirituality mean to you? What’s the difference between spirituality and religion, to your mind and experience? How important are they to you? Do you feel more drawn to one than the other?

I’ve often heard people say, “I’m not religious; I’m spiritual.” When I ask people what they mean by that, they usually say that they feel spiritual as opposed to religious, as if they have abandoned religion in favor of spirituality, or that the two are mutually exclusive. Or sometimes they mean that they feel religion is too restrictive (because of morals, ethics, rules or laws) and that spirituality is more liberating (with no defined limits). And sometimes they were simply raised without any particular religion, and spirituality is the catch-all term for finding meaning in their lives.

Do you think spirituality and religion go hand in hand or are in opposition to each other? Do you feel that you’re religious or spiritual or both? Do you consciously work on developing one or the other or both? Why or why not?

I realize this is a rather vague topic, but that’s just the point for me. I’ve been talking to a number of people lately about what spirituality is and how people see it in regard to religion. I’m curious about how you feel about it.

My parents would not identify as “spiritual,” but they both consider themselves religious because they go to religious services regularly and are active in their congregations. I don’t think of either of them as either spiritual or religious. They both behave the way they do because of how they were raised and what they believe is expected of them (by whom, I’m not sure). My three sisters would all describe themselves as spiritual, though only one of them would call herself religious, and she does so proudly. I hesitate to describe myself as religious, because people have such widely varying ideas of what that means, and if I say I’m religious, they expect me to believe certain things and/or behave in certain ways, and when I don’t, they’re confused or even angry. But I also hesitate to say that I’m spiritual, because I’m not sure my frame of reference is the same as the person asking the question.

So maybe you wise ladies can help me out. What does it mean to be spiritual? What does it mean to be religious? How would you answer someone who asks you if you’re religious or spiritual or both?

Thank you in advance for teaching me.

[lee058]

Good morning everyone. Hope you are all well today. Peachy, this is a great topic, and I will be thinking about it so as to write when I have more time. I need to leave the house very shortly.

It's 41 degrees right now, but I refuse to get my coat out yet.

Today I'm going to buy a new bedside lamp.

That's all my news at the moment! I will be back later. Have a peaceful day, Lee

[hollygail]

I was spiritual long before I became religious. I was raised neither, and came to spirituality on my own. It took a long time, and I fought it from the beginning. Yet once I recognized that there were things that were real that I couldn't explain, I sort of dived right in (dove right in?) Some years later, I had an experience that caused me to recognize that there was a cause for everything, a Source of everything, if you will. And 13 years later I became bat mitzvah. My non-practicing Jewish family calls me "frum" (with the quotation marks around it) because compared to the rest of my family (sister, brother-in-law, their kids and grandkids), I practice Judaism for real, every day, in as many ways as I can...

Sorry, Peachy, I don't think I can give you a definition of "spirituality" although I think that's what you're looking for...

[peachymom1]

Lee, 41 degrees and no coat? Brrr! I'm a total California wimp -- I start shivering at 60 degrees. Have fun shopping for the lamp, and I'll look forward to your comments later.

Holly, what you described is just the kind of thing I AM looking for. I don't know if spirituality can be defined at all, even; it seems like an elusive thing. I know that I feel spiritual because I feel connected to God, but also to the rest of God's creations, not just a me-God thing. Your comments are interesting and helpful (as usual). :+)

[louise]

Somewhere in my 40's I became a seeker. At about the same time I first attended my synagogue and started to go to an ashram (now a yoga retreat). I remember long ago as a teen being moved when I went to the Worlds Fair and saw Michelangelo's Pieta - we were moved across the room on a conveyor belt and Gregorian chant played in the background. In college I studied medieval lit because I was so moved by the depth of feeling and the spiritual quests. On into the renaissance the good, the true, and the beautiful were considered to be one and the same, occurring together. I was not religious at any of these times.

At the ashram I heard words of wisdom that spoke to me very directly in a way I had never found in my religion. As I continued going to synagogue though I began to become more engaged and ultimately became an observant Jew. I feel fortunate to have a wonderful rabbi and community. I have had many profoundly spiritual experiences now in my religion. So maybe spirituality is an openness to a sense of a higher power, a higher wisdom, and various religions offer a particular way of codifying it, a path to follow.

As for whether other people agree that I am spiritual or religious - that's none of my business, not my problem (or Peachy, as I have heard you say, "Not my circus, not my monkeys."). Most people in my group of friends and in my office consider my pretty (actually "very") observant but I share an office with an orthodox man who finds me wanting in that regard. We each do what we do. There was a time a number of years ago when I was working at home and asked him to send me a package of artwork that I needed. He refused because he knew I would be working on it on Shabbat. Ah well.

[happysavta]

I'm neither religious nor spiritual. If I can see, taste, smell, feel or hear it, it's real. If I can't, then it's a thought or a feeling or a belief or a wish.

When religion or spirituality is examined through debate, reason or analysis, it loses. Nobody can prove anything. Who has seen an angel or had a responsive conversation with God or held a soul or spoken to a departed individual who can verify Heaven or life after death?

For me, both religion and spirituality exist in the realm of imagination and mythology. Ok, that can be fun and entertaining. For myself, I believe God was created by man, not the other way around. That's why there are so many versions of God.

I think religion was created to try to set boundaries on human behavior and I applaud the attempt, though it's mostly unsuccessful. No, I wouldn't want a world without religions; it would be a Lord of the Flies world of unleashed violence and immorality. I'm all for teaching children the tenets of morality within the framework of religion. But when they grow up and their minds are able to sort out the difference between imagination and reality, between mythology and the physical world of matter, they should be allowed to come to their own conclusions. For me, the choice is not which one - religion or spirituality? My rational, analytical, practical conclusion? Neither.

[savtele]

Boker Tov All! For me, religion is the codification of something that is ineffable - spirituality. Whether looking at a sunrise, changing leaves or dancing children - there is something that tugs at something "deeper" in me. That "deeper" is spirituality. For many people, it needs a name and a structure. And so societies invent "religions" that fit with their world-view. If we are honest with ourselves, like Louise - we will find common ground in all religions and spiritual disciplines, but often one stands out. Whether from cultural bias or from personal bent - and that might then be the religious discipline we decide to look into and to follow.

For others of us, our religious upbringing may have been too restrictive - and in the effort of throwing off the stricture, we also end up throwing out much of the structure. That is not to say we won't go back to it (or somewhere else) at a later date - just that at this time, the structure is too restrictive. And so we enjoy the spirituality without being particularly religious at this time.

Music speaks to me more than any other spiritual language. Whether a Gregorian Chant, Vivaldi, Andres Segovia playing "Alhambra" or Janis Joplin - there is a resonance inside me that nothing else can reach! Well, poetry. I can see colors and depths, time and spaces in words. Add a little music and it will never leave me!

Years ago, when I was 1st introduced to Quantum Physics (of which I do not even pretend to have a grasp) I had an "aha" moment with String Theory - the proponents of String Theory have "found/discovered" God! I hold to that. The theory is - extremely simplified - at the base of everything, past the atom, past the neutrons, electrons & protons, "vibrating strings" make up everything. Matter, dark matter, anti-matter - all vibrating strings - giving rise to more than 1 dimension & more than 1 reality at the same time. Whole universes, beyond what we can imagine - all vibrating strings, which exploded out in the "Big Bang" and will someday collapse back in on themselves - only to repeat it all again.

I can only stand in awe - and quote Leonard Cohen's song "Anthem"
There is a crack, a crack in everything
That's how the light gets in!

[peachymom1]

Louise, I don't think it's that coworker's business to judge you or to decide what you "should" or "shouldn't" be doing. But in fairness, I have to say that his refusing to send you that package was a religious act in his mind. We are commanded not to put a stumbling block before the blind (Lev. 19:14), and that's exactly what he would have been doing by sending you the package, enabling, even encouraging you to work on Shabbat. While I don't necessarily agree with him, I do see his point.

Frieda, I find your candor refreshing, and I think there is a lot to be said for experiencing the world through your senses. And it's interesting to me that even without a feeling of being religious or spiritual, you still seem to identify strongly as Jewish, and community and family are important to you.

Angelika, I feel the same way you do about both music and string theory (what I understand of it). Music is a profoundly meaningful method of expression for me. And it occurs to me that both music and string theory, like spirituality, can be expressed in an infinite number of ways. Maybe spirituality is as unique as each person is.

You are all giving me a good deal to think about. It's wonderful.

[gazelle18]

For years I was religious (n my Reform way!) and not at all spiritual. I have become more spiritual as I have aged, because, like Louise, I am a "seeker." I honestly believe that the Jewish people are strengthened by Jews being both - I am believer in joining in to the community, if only for he sake of the tribe.. But I do love the spiritual search.

[peachymom1]

"But don't you agree that 'spiritual' has been given a good connotation and is approved by our society while "religious" has been given a bad connotation?"

That's an interesting question, Frieda, and I'm going to give that some more thought. In my own experience, I've known people who claim to be "spiritual," but what they really mean is that they're not particularly interested in behaving ethically or morally, according to rules. I've also known people who claim to be "religious," but what they really mean is that they like performing rituals (going to church or putting on tefillin, etc.) and aren't particularly interested in behaving ethically or morally, according to rules. So I reserve judgment until I see how people's values are reflected in their behavior, and what they think and say about taking care of others.

DH and I were talking about this over dinner, and he said that to him, a person who is either spiritual or religious (or both) doesn't make a habit of saying so, unless someone happens to ask; he or she just goes about his or her business, acting with kindness and wisdom in their everyday lives. I like that.

And now that I think of it, Frieda, yes, I would agree that in general, our society considers "spiritual" to be more positive than "religious," and it occurs to me that this might be because "spiritual" people don't usually go around hurting people in the name of spirituality, while plenty of "religious" people do hurt others in the name of religion.

Thank you for making me think some more! I love this.