Jewish Musings, Friday/Shabbat, October 28-29, 2016

[peachymom1]

What’s on your mind – how to make kugel? This week’s Torah reading? Life goals? Prayer? We are all engaged in weight loss/weight maintenance journeys and we are all Jewish or at least interested in Judaism. We like to eat, we like to discuss. It is our goal here to provide each other support on our journeys, to share experiences, to call on our rich cultural heritage and texts, and to help each other grow spiritually.

Some of us take weekly turns starting the thread:

Angelika
Holly
Lee
Louise
Lynne
Peachy

[peachymom1]

Good morning! Today I want to ask you something I’ve been thinking about lately. Is there an attitude or emotion you have that has gotten weaker or gentler as you’ve gotten older or gone through certain transitions in your life (like becoming and adult, advancing in a career, becoming a parent, etc.)?

And conversely, is there an attitude or emotion that has become stronger or more important to you as you’ve gone through changes or gotten older? What’s the best thing about getting older?

This might sound like a contradiction, but as I’ve gotten older, I’ve become more accepting of people for who they are (i.e., for how they are different from me), and less tolerant of general BS (like childish behavior from adults, attempts at manipulation, etc.). I’ve also learned to let go of a lot of the small stuff I used to spend too much time worrying about. Is this what it means to mellow with age?

I’ve also become more forgiving of myself and others, yet I hold myself and others accountable when we make mistakes. It’s become more important to me to consider other people’s feelings and how my choices affect them. When I was growing up, I often didn’t know / realize / believe that my behavior had much of an effect on others, but becoming an adult, especially becoming a parent, changed that completely.

I think the best thing about getting older is that I have gained a much greater appreciation for life and its gifts, I have a much greater sense of gratitude, and a clearer sense of what I think is important.

I don’t know if I’m making any sense. Would you like to share your thoughts?

Shabbat shalom!

[gazelle18]

I didn't even get to our thread yesterday, as I had a really busy day. I just went back and read the great discussion.

As for today's discussion:

I have definitely mellowed with age. I used to be much more opinionated and argumentative. Nowadays, I see great value in listening to others and accepting differences. Small inconveniences used to drive me crazy; now, I am much more of a "go with the flow" kind of person. It's like my jagged peaks have become rounded hilltops.

[lee058]

Good morning everybody. Hope you are all well today. I feel good, even though I woke up at 4 o'clock. DS unexpectedly got the day off today, so he has a three day weekend which he is very happy about (he's walking around singing, which is nice). He's going to be going in early for at least the next couple of weeks, so I will continue to get up at 4AM (!!). It's not so bad, though; my insomnia has switched around and is actually helping me get up early. I have been taking afternoon naps too. We also found out that he will have off on Thanksgiving, which I am glad about as H, DS and I make a big deal out of cooking for the holiday.

My changes as I've gotten older reflect those of Peachy and Lynne. I used to be very intolerant of differing opinions, for example, and now I can like people even if we don't share the same ideas (I find it hard to get along with Trump-ites though!). In some ways, I can put up with other people's idiosyncracies (is that spelled right?) better than I used to, but am also less tolerant of people crossing my boundaries. I am both more and less restrained about voicing my thoughts and feelings, depending on the circumstances.

I am at least as aware of Nature's beauty and God's input than I used to be. These make me happier.

I also like dark chocolate now!

I'll be back later as I'm sure this is going to be an interesting discussion today. Have a peaceful day, Lee

[savtele]

Boker Tov All!

I'm sitting here in the dark AM with my 1st cup of coffee - I love spending time with you in the early morning! It seems that as a days get shorter, my natural sleep cycles lengthen a bit - I am sleeping about 1/2 hour longer in every 24 hr period. Apparently my body needs it.

I also feel that I have mellowed with age - while becoming more and more sure of who I am. I am more apt to give the benefit of the doubt. And I truly believe that kindness is more important than being right!

I am now much more apt to take people's background into my assessment of their behavior. Cultural differences matter in our understanding of one another! I have a Christian friend from Trinidad - when she was a child her parents sold her to a Hindu temple, where she was virtually a slave until she ran away to a Christian Mission as a teenager. When she talks of her beliefs, I have to take that into account!

Micah 6:8 has always been one of my favorite verses in the whole Bible. As I get older I see it as a blueprint for living: He has shown you, oh mortal, what is good, and what does the Lord require of you? To act justly, and to love mercy, and to walk humbly before your God. (and there's that word "good" again!)

I'm off to the pool.

Shabbat Shalom!

[happysavta]

Have I changed from the person I was in my 20s, 30s, 40s, 50s? I certainly hope so! Time is limited now. There aren't another 68 years stretching before me. I don't want to be remembered as angry or fearful or unhappy. Have you ever visited a cemetery and walked around reading the headstones? A lifetime of interactions and relationships are encapsulated in a few words. My mother's says, "Ever gentle, always kind." What will mine say? Nothing that complementary. And it's all reflected in the weight loss, weight gain stuff.

I have a lot of work to do, chaverot.

[hollygail]

Oct 28, 2016 0:57:46 GMT -5 gazelle18 said:

I have definitely mellowed with age. I used to be much more opinionated and argumentative. Nowadays, I see great value in listening to others and accepting differences. Small inconveniences used to drive me crazy; now, I am much more of a "go with the flow" kind of person. It's like my jagged peaks have become rounded hilltops.

Lynne could have channeled me as she wrote that paragraph! I don't think I could say it better. I'm still opinionated, but it's no longer necessary for the entire world to know.

[louise]

I'm in synch with everyone about mellowing - absolutely! And I care less about what other people think. This has added some freedom to my life - you lose some freedoms as you age but you also gain some new ones. Not needing to be right is a precious gain. Obsessing about less things is another.

I just got a new app for my iPhone called Pocket Torah. Quite wonderful. I always wanted a small chumash so I could read the weekly parsha on the bus or whenever I unexpectedly had time, but never found anything small enough to really work. This is now something I will pretty much always have with me. It can display like a tikkun, with vowels, or with translation and you can also push "play" to hear it chanted. There is another one called Pocket Torah Trope that teaches all the different tropes (torah, haftarah, eicha, high holy days, etc). These are both free.

[savtele]

This was written by a woman I knew many years ago:

When I was 20, my shoe were red
I very seldom went to bed

When I was 30, my shoes were white
And I could dance all through the night

When I was 40, my shoes were brown
And I could walk all over town

Now I am 80, my shoes are black
I wish I had my red shoes back!