May 2022 Beck Alumni Thread

[mare]

ermabom, turns out I had saved an email from my mindfulness teacher on this business of questions. Here's the full text, which has some more context in case it is helpful for you or others. This work has really helped me not just think (which is the Beck focus) but also explore other ways of knowing.

Dear Friends,

Do you remember being told many times over in your education to ask questions and being encouraged with the phrase that "there are no stupid questions?" And yet, if you were shy like me, you held the question to yourself or worse, you thought you were the only one that had that question so it must mean something was wrong with you. Just think how many great questions go unasked all the time! What a loss. I love that what I do now is mostly ask questions. For some reason, I am only realizing this today and suddenly I am excited by the realization. Why? (No pun intended).

A question, when it is asked with genuine openness, can often be a gift to our nervous system because it asks us to move into a place of curiosity. It invites us to stop and listen and to search for understanding. It welcomes us to think and feel for what we need in order to discover (it is generative). Sometimes, it is a shifting question, one that opens up our perspective to hold something in a new way or from another angle. The shifting question can change a negative mind state, to one of possibility, energy or clarity. It can can turn a confused place to one that has understanding or that allows for complexity. A "good" question makes something fresh. It allows us to step back from the subject and get the space we need to see it anew. An insightful question doesn't look for black and white answers and doesn't get bogged down with right and wrong. We ask the question because we believe that there is insight within. It might not happen right away or with one question, but it is there for us to uncover.

How do you ask an insightful, generative, or shifting question? It has to be open and broad enough in scope around the subject. It also has to ask something we don't yet know. Insightful questions aren't smart or clever. Insightful questions often evoke curiosity in us that wasn't present before. They also ask us to listen to our felt sense of the situation, rather than what our logical, practical brain might know about it. When we listen with our gut, with our heart, from what the body knows, we get another way of perceiving what is here.

What are some possible questions that can open us up and inspire curiosity? Here are just a handful that come to mind:

What is this needing in me? (For example: patience, acceptance, kindness, inspiration, space).
Where in my body is this subject held and what does it feel like?
What assumptions am I making?
What do I not yet know here that I can let myself not know?
What would make this easier?
What matters most to me about this issue?
What does my higher self, after all these years of experiencing life, know about this?
My invitation this week, whenever you find yourself grappling with something or when you find yourself in any hard emotional or mental state, get curious and ask yourself an open question that causes you to stop and search inside (you might choose one from the list above). Say the question aloud and respond aloud. This will help you find clarity. Slow the question down when you ask it so that you can hear what is being asked. And even just a small insight or opening can go a long way. Asking questions is a very powerful tool we can utilize with ourselves and with each other. (Just be sure when you ask someone else a question, it is truly a question and not a statement, suggestion or opinion disguised as a question).

We never know which question is going to make us go "ah!" Curiosity leads to creativity and we are always creating our lives. Wishing you a beautiful week.

🌷
Jean

[ermabom]

mare, thank you. I will try this.

[bonzee]

Yesterday was not terrible. The floors are now in the house so we can begin the process of moving back in, I (mostly walked) a practice 5k with my daughter, took my vitamins, drank my water.

Today I will incorporate in logging and walking at lunch. Still not giving up! I'll be happy to have the spin bike and hand weights unearthed from the garage.

[lani]

Man, DH and I were walking zombies yesterday.  Too much crap food and (good) wine, too little sleep.  Feeling more human this morning.  Now, to resume meditating.

Monday credits:

Weighed - down 0.8 lb.
Read new posts, posted
Strength & flexibility exercises
Tracked
Ate sitting, mindfully
Ended day 260 calories under plan
Wrote plan for today.

[ermabom]

I have been going to bed when I’m tried at night. Let’s see how that goes.

Still trying to avoid triggers for snacking. Had a mostly normal day yesterday Been meditating every day since I started.

Credits:
Exercised
Read cards
Logged food
Stuck to plan
Used habit tracker
Gave myself credit.

[ermabom]

Norma day yesterday. I decided to listen to guided meditation before bed. Let's see how that goes. I was physically exhausted yesterday after spending the whole afternoon weeding, planting and mulching so I slept well.

Credits:
Exercised
Read cards
Logged food
Used habit tracker
Gave myself credit

[mare]

Behind but so is Beck, no new tip today. Here's yesterday's: Critical reminder: Taking care of yourself is a necessity—not a luxury. If you think, “I can’t take ten minutes to sit down and de-stress in a healthy way,” remind yourself, “Yes I can! There is no better use of ten minutes than taking care of myself.”

Cyn, bonzee, corgi, Emily.Postal, mooselady12, fitin14, irisinnia, cj59, lioness, ontosomething, pirouette, crewer, peacemama, faithmtw, ermabom, squintco, chazel12345, wendroz, lumberjack55, mary~m, celtickat, digplantweed, jonik, lindabee, dragonflyaz, lunabear, @happydaze, cindylouwh, gemellus, SharkPhin, elle, melbre, charlotte21, brenlin, wendroz, boop, sparkles, tigrib, JJ, lisabee, hadas, peacemama, gemster, healthyjoy, moxie, gracie, smkd, lumberjack55, Tinkamom, Eve Dallas, madeafan, phil467 digplantweed, charlotte21, sweetmarsh52, mary~m, Cyn, juicy246, lumberjack55, lunabear, melbre, wendroz, hipmom, ontosomething, ermabom, lindabee, abacusfinch, @happydaze, delfie, Eve Dallas, gemellus, bonzee, JJ, madeafan, celtickat, peacemama, ASL, jonik, Emily.Postal, SharkPhin, fitin14, faithmtw, squintco, corgi, Tinkamom, mooselady12, phoenix, Gypsy3n8, mumsalot, taraan, fitin14, beherenow

[bonzee]

I had a good day yesterday. Eating according to my plan, walked at lunch, took my vitamins and drank my water.

[lani]

Tuesday credits:

Weighed - down 0.8 lb.
Read new posts, posted
Tracked
Strength & flexibility exercises
Cooked - first time for a number of days.  Traveling and eating leftovers.
Ended day 140 calories under plan
Ate sitting, mindfully
Wrote today's plan

Still haven't resumed formal meditating.  Been doing some half-assed stuff before falling asleep.

[ermabom]

Normal day yesterday.

Credits:
Exercised
Read cards
Logged food
Used habit tracker
Gave myself credit

[bonzee]

Yesterday was a repeat of another good day. I will note that my exercise outside of walking at lunch has taken a hit with the home renovation stuff lately. And we've been eating too much frozen/take out. Thank Jimmy we are going to Costco tonight to get some fresh fruits and veggies in the house. Things aren't quite back to normal yet but the new flooring is in and we at least have our beds set up and clothing back in closets.

[lani]

Wednesday credits:

Weighed - up 0.6 lb.
Read new posts, posted
Finally meditated
Tracked
Strength & flexibility exercises
Ate sitting, mindfully
Ended day 105 calories under plan
Wrote today's plan

[ermabom]

mare, I’ve been trying your meditation teacher’s method but no insights so far.

However, this is exactly what I’m trying to do, and that seems an easier way to handle some of these things
From James Clear today : "Before you try to increase your willpower, try to decrease the friction in your environment."

[mare]

ermabom, yes, manage that environment!

Late again because of work but here's a tag. No Wed or Thurs tips.

Cyn, bonzee, corgi, Emily.Postal, mooselady12, fitin14, irisinnia, cj59, lioness, ontosomething, pirouette, crewer, peacemama, faithmtw, ermabom, squintco, chazel12345, wendroz, lumberjack55, mary~m, celtickat, digplantweed, jonik, lindabee, dragonflyaz, lunabear, @happydaze, cindylouwh, gemellus, SharkPhin, elle, melbre, charlotte21, brenlin, wendroz, boop, sparkles, tigrib, JJ, lisabee, hadas, peacemama, gemster, healthyjoy, moxie, gracie, smkd, lumberjack55, Tinkamom, Eve Dallas, madeafan, phil467 digplantweed, charlotte21, sweetmarsh52, mary~m, Cyn, juicy246, lumberjack55, lunabear, melbre, wendroz, hipmom, ontosomething, ermabom, lindabee, abacusfinch, @happydaze, delfie, Eve Dallas, gemellus, bonzee, JJ, madeafan, celtickat, peacemama, ASL, jonik, Emily.Postal, SharkPhin, fitin14, faithmtw, squintco, corgi, Tinkamom, mooselady12, phoenix, Gypsy3n8, mumsalot, taraan, fitin14, beherenow

[mare]

Tagging while I think of it. I'll check for a new tip later, hopefully!

Cyn, bonzee, corgi, Emily.Postal, mooselady12, fitin14, irisinnia, cj59, lioness, ontosomething, pirouette, crewer, peacemama, faithmtw, ermabom, squintco, chazel12345, wendroz, lumberjack55, mary~m, celtickat, digplantweed, jonik, lindabee, dragonflyaz, lunabear, @happydaze, cindylouwh, gemellus, SharkPhin, elle, melbre, charlotte21, brenlin, wendroz, boop, sparkles, tigrib, JJ, lisabee, hadas, peacemama, gemster, healthyjoy, moxie, gracie, smkd, lumberjack55, Tinkamom, Eve Dallas, madeafan, phil467 digplantweed, charlotte21, sweetmarsh52, mary~m, Cyn, juicy246, lumberjack55, lunabear, melbre, wendroz, hipmom, ontosomething, ermabom, lindabee, abacusfinch, @happydaze, delfie, Eve Dallas, gemellus, bonzee, JJ, madeafan, celtickat, peacemama, ASL, jonik, Emily.Postal, SharkPhin, fitin14, faithmtw, squintco, corgi, Tinkamom, mooselady12, phoenix, Gypsy3n8, mumsalot, taraan, fitin14, beherenow

[ermabom]

Last night I tried two things. First I listened to a guided meditation when I had insomnia. It was good but didn't help me go back to sleep. Then I decided I would read a reference book instead of something light or watching some video. I did get through the book - which I've been reading in fits and starts. But I did snack. A little. I am very heavy-eyed this am and didn't mediate this morning. I decided I needed 30 mins more of sleep.

But giving myself credit - until this year, I have not been able to maintain my exercise routine while the spring yard work is in progress. I do a lot of bending, lifting, carrying in the weeding, mulching and planting. This year I did both. That was part of the reason I woke up last night - my legs and hips and knees were sore. They are fine this am. And since the work is done for the most part, it will get better. I still have to weed and water and there are three plants coming that need to be planted and the area around them mulched but that is only one task,

I also snuck in a exercise session yesterday after cooking dinner but before eating it.

Credits:
Exercised
Read cards
Logged food
Stuck to plan (my insomnia was today, not yesterday)
Used habit tracker
Gave myself credit

[lani]

Thursday credits:

Weighed - no change
Read new posts, posted
Meditated
Tracked
Ate sitting, mostly mindfully
Ended day 70 calories under plan

Attending an 8th grade grad BBQ tonight.  The parents serve healthy food mainly, but I can't really come up with a calorie plan for this meal.

[mare]

Friday weekend warm up: This weekend, work on finding joy in non-food related ways! The more alternative sources of joy you have, the less you’ll turn to food to fill that need.

Needed this reminder and perhaps you do too? Cyn,ermabom,peacemama,charlotte21,honeybzzzs,hipmom,lumberjack55,ColleenStarr,twizzler827,golfergal26,gemellus,fitin14,mooselady12,lunabear,phoenix, ColleenStarr, mary~m, squintco, SharkPhin, madeafan

[mare]

Oops, forgot tags. I never checked for a tip again yesterday but figured that one was still good...

Cyn, bonzee, corgi, Emily.Postal, mooselady12, fitin14, irisinnia, cj59, lioness, ontosomething, pirouette, crewer, peacemama, faithmtw, ermabom, squintco, chazel12345, wendroz, lumberjack55, mary~m, celtickat, digplantweed, jonik, lindabee, dragonflyaz, lunabear, @happydaze, cindylouwh, gemellus, SharkPhin, elle, melbre, charlotte21, brenlin, wendroz, boop, sparkles, tigrib, JJ, lisabee, hadas, peacemama, gemster, healthyjoy, moxie, gracie, smkd, lumberjack55, Tinkamom, Eve Dallas, madeafan, phil467 digplantweed, charlotte21, sweetmarsh52, mary~m, Cyn, juicy246, lumberjack55, lunabear, melbre, wendroz, hipmom, ontosomething, ermabom, lindabee, abacusfinch, @happydaze, delfie, Eve Dallas, gemellus, bonzee, JJ, madeafan, celtickat, peacemama, ASL, jonik, Emily.Postal, SharkPhin, fitin14, faithmtw, squintco, corgi, Tinkamom, mooselady12, phoenix, Gypsy3n8, mumsalot, taraan, fitin14, beherenow

[ermabom]

May 28, 2022 3:42:09 GMT -5 mare said:

The more alternative sources of joy you have, the less you’ll turn to food to fill that need.

Yes, this. I don't really lack joy in my life but there are moments when I need to look for it.

Yesterday was OK during the day. I had snacked a little (credit was I stopped after a little) after midnight. I also had to run out to shop before the storms hit so I didn't eat my entire lunch. Snacked mid afternoon as a result. And ate some sugar in the pm. But I went to bed early and slept like a baby and feel much stronger and more confident this am. I'm writing off yesterday as poor planning overall.

What I'm getting really good at is logging everything - even the off-plan stuff - and doing it daily. Exercise is also getting to be a good habit. I really look for ways to fit it in.

Credits:
Read cards
Logged food
Used habit tracker
Gave myself credit.

[lani]

Joke's on me.  The graduation party is tonight, not last night.  Don't know how it got into my head that it was Friday. 

Friday credits:

Weighed - up 0.2 lb.
Read new posts, posted
Meditated
Worked out - usual plus cardio
Ate sitting, mindfully
Tracked
Ended day 340 calories under plan
One again, can only really plan breakfast and lunch, since dinner is at friends' home.

[bonzee]

I've got five days of tracking under my belt!! Yesterday the only mark I didn't meet was my vitamins, but we did travel to and from DBFs daughters softball state tournament (they lost in two games, boo, hiss) and I did bring snacks, ate reasonably at the field and took a box of leftovers from dinner. Lots of water, no crappy snacking.

[ermabom]

I've discovered the reason for my insomnia, which is good. It is a med I'm taking. I forgot it a couple of days and slept really well. So I tried leaving it off for a few more days and that is not good. So I have to go back to it. This means I really, really, really have to solve the snacking while unable to sleep problem. Going to try reading in a different room and meditating to see if either works.

Rest day for exercise

Credits:
Read cards
Logged food
Used habit tracker
Gave myself credit

[bonzee]

I was a little over on calories yesterday but I still tracked my food, so that's six days. Not everyday will be great so I'm giving myself grace and credit for tracking.

[lani]

Saturday credits:

Weighed - down 1 lb.
Read new posts, posted
Tracked breakfast and lunch.  Dinner at friends - can't even venture a guess at the cals.  I gave myself 1000 for the occasion.
Ate sitting, mindfully
Strength & flexibility exercises

Going back and forth if we will do pizza tonight or push it out till tomorrow.  So can't really plan for today either.