Jewish Musings, Sun., 1/8

[gazelle18]

What’s on your mind — how to make kugel? This week’s Torah reading? Life goals? Prayer? We are all engaged in weight loss/weight maintenance journeys and we are all Jewish or at least interested in Judaism. We like to eat, we like to discuss. It is our goal here to provide each other support on our journeys, to share experiences, to call on our rich cultural heritage and texts, and to help each other grow spiritually.

Some of us take weekly turns starting the thread:

Angelika
Holly
Lee
Louise
Lynne
Peachy

And for those of you that stop by to read this thread without posting - you are welcome to do that but you are also welcome to chime in!

[gazelle18]

Hi Everyone,

I am starting the thread early (it only 5 pm here), as we are going out to a quarterly dinner group we belong to . It's made up of lovely people, some of whom are close friends. The group started over a love of good wine; the idea is that everyone would bring a dish, as well as a wine they wanted to share. The host coordinates, so that we don't end up with several versions steak au poivre! Lots of fun!

Of course, the dinner has become an occasion to overindulge in food, in addition to wine. Many of the participants are good cooks, so we tend to bring dishes that unusual and delicious. Everyone is expected to taste the different wines and at least same the different foods. I tend to allow my defenses down when I drink alcohol. So, of course, i am trying to decide how to handle the evening.

I know that Holly in the past has written that she has learned to take a spoonful of this, a small serving of that. I admire (deeply) people like Holly! My personal mathematical equation, however, goes like this:

great food + divine wine + Saturday night + Lynne = overeating

Today's question is not: how should i handle this upcoming "disaster"?
The question is: I am surrounded by good friends, laughter, and the best that the vines and the earth have to offer. When i look back on this dinner at the end of my life, what will be more important? That I resisted temptation and didn't gain weight? That i laughed so hard that "tears ran down my leg?" (common with my weak bladder!!). That I was able to enjoy the jokes and the conversation, and add my part to this?

i an interested in what your answer to this question would be.

[peachymom1]

Good evening, shavua tov! You bring up a great point, Lynne. What do we think when we look back on these things? It's a matter of perspective, isn't it?

I think for me, this occasion would be important enough to me to have a planned splurge. I'd save my weekly points and get some extra activity points ahead of time, just so I could indulge and enjoy. Then I could remember the occasion with an added level of happiness -- that I planned ahead, that I made the most of a wonderful evening, and didn't have to regret anything.

I hope you're having an absolutely fabulous time!

[hollygail]

Once upon a time, I heard a message from someone (in the business world) that on people's deathbeds, they're NOT known to say things like, "I wish I had spent more time at the office." That may not be the exact quote, but that's definitely the sentiment.

So, in the same vein, I can't imagine looking back with fond memories of "I resisted and didn't gain."

I do like Peachy's idea of planning how to splurge.

And, having said that, I must confess I did NOT plan today's splurge. Twice a year, the San Diego Jewish community has a gathering of sorts with learning attached. Years ago, the one in late August was called the "Back to School Workshop" for teachers in Jewish schools, and the one in January was called either the "mini-CAJE" and/or the "Mid-winter Conference" (also for teachers in Jewish schools). Then, about five years ago, they killed one of the two and started "Limmud, a Day of Learning" open not only to teachers in Jewish schools, but also to the general (Jewish) public, with one particular strand of offerings for teachers in Jewish schools (like me). Tonight (it's still Saturday night here) was the first Tapestry. After a lovely havdalah, there were two one-hour sessions, with approximately a dozen offerings in each session, followed by a dessert reception. OMG! I ate a two or three inch long, maybe one inch in diameter eclair (I haven't eaten an eclair in I don't remember how many years, 10? 20? 30? more?), one chocolate dipped strawberry, and one incredible dark chocolate truffle. I went back for a second truffle (alas! none left) and found two other little pastries (I had already taken one small square of tiramisu, which I can't eat because of the caffeine, but was bringing it home for DH) for DH (all three of which he ingested like an ocean wave). And he had been working all day (he often schedules more sessions on weekends than during the week) and stopped at a shiva house on his way home (I believe I told you that the oldest grandson, age 24, of a good friend of ours, died last week; the two grandmothers are sitting shiva) and one of them sent home for me a (larger than I'd usually help myself to) brownie with walnuts and chocolate chips inside. (Do I really have to tell you I finished it?)

Oh, for the days of trying merely a spoonful of things...

[savtele]

Boker Tov & Shavuah Tov All! I too, believe that a "planned splurge" is necessary for sanity and well-being! At a cheese-tasting, I am not going sit with a spoonful of cottage cheese on my plate. Good conversation and laughter cannot be enjoyed if my 1 thought is how I am going to avoid all the good food and make this 1 glass of wine last all night!

Throughout history, simchas, festas, festivals, Holy days and holidays - are celebrated with food, wine and friends. It's hard-wired into our DNA, I think - we have a joyous occasion, we get meat, sweets, wine, music & friends together! We see friends we haven't seen in a while - we get wine, food, sweets & other friends together.

At this point in my life, I wouldn't dream of bingeing on kraft singles. But that little pot of creme brulee on my birthday really hit the spot for me! I'm not going to do it every day. I think it's perfectly lovely to have the memory of the evening, the laughter, the jokes, the pictures of new grandchildren & the stories of where our lives have taken us since last we met, intertwined with a memory of a wonderful flavor & the headiness of a good wine! In the future, another bottle of wine, or another bite of food may well bring back memories of good friends and laughter!

I hear the rain coming down. At this point the temp is just above freezing, so the water is hitting the ice on the ground making everything even more slick. I have a nice fire going, and enough wood indoors (under the kitchen table, LOL) to last until tomorrow evening - we don't have to go out for anything!

Have a good day, ladies!

[louise]

Oh Lynne, I would definitely vote for enjoying the evening. The thing is, even if you didn't plan for it in advance, how you handle the NEXT day!

Yesterday I got to see an exhibit of art/artifacts from Jerusalem 1000-1400. It was closing today so I went with a friend right after services, snow and all, which kind of contributed to the adventure. Saw many beautiful things including illuminated books in Hebrew, Greek, Arabic -all gorgeous. I especially enjoyed an illuminated haggadah showing Next Year in Jerusalem and some machzors open to the Gates of Heaven for YK. As a special treat, as we were leaving we saw an older woman dressed as some kind of sprite with a tiara, many tulle petals, and all lit up! Not part of the museum, just a woman coming out of the ladies room. And I bought a friend a couple of bars of macadamia-orange camel milk chocolate there - sounded interesting - I hope she will eat it without a heksher!

[happysavta]

Lynne, what is your definition of "overeating" at these events? Do you eat so much that you are stuffed, sick, bloated? Are you eating the equivalent of 2 dinners at once? Do you fill the plate full and go back for a second plate? I'm afraid you are saying, "This is a situation where I always overeat, can't control myself, and there's no other avenue available. It's always been a calorie disaster and it's always going to be that way."

OK. So what are the strategies that give you some sense of control and balance? I'm sure you know what works for you.

Can you eat a hard boiled egg before you head out to the event?
Can you drink a large glass of water before starting to eat?
Can you eat the salads before you start on the other foods?
What helps you screen out the carbs and focus on the proteins?
What helps you skip or minimize the dessert table? Perhaps you delegate your DH to make a single pick for you if you don't trust yourself to browse.

My own best technique is to talk to myself out loud while I'm putting on my make-up and reaffirm that I'm going to go and enjoy more food than I usually eat, but not so much that I'm going to feel awful. I remind myself that it's going to be great to talk to X, Y and Z. and that's really why I'm going, and that having fun is eating, yes, but also more than that.

Whatever works for you is what works for you. Just do it.