Jewish musings, Mon., 1/9

[gazelle18]

What’s on your mind — how to make kugel? This week’s Torah reading? Life goals? Prayer? We are all engaged in weight loss/weight maintenance journeys and we are all Jewish or at least interested in Judaism. We like to eat, we like to discuss. It is our goal here to provide each other support on our journeys, to share experiences, to call on our rich cultural heritage and texts, and to help each other grow spiritually.

Some of us take weekly turns starting the thread:

Angelika
Holly
Lee
Louise
Lynne
Peachy

And for those of you that stop by to read this thread without posting - you are welcome to do that but you are also welcome to chime in!

[gazelle18]

I loved your responses to my question yesterday. I actually did reasonably well,I am pleased to report.

I recently read an article in Oprah magazine in the subject of New Years resolutions. The author, Martha Beck, noted that many people make resolutions, but most people do not keep them. She then devoted the rest of the article to ways in which she truly wanted to spend her time in the coming year. Her first "counter-intuitive resolution" was this, and I am quoting:

"GAIN WEIGHT. How much did Florence Nightingale weigh when she founded modern nursing? How much did Rosa Parks weight when she took her seat on that Alabama bus? How much did Malala Youfsafzai weigh when she started writing about the lives of girls in Pakistan under Taliban rule? You don't know? That's the right answer! Because it doesn't matter.

For so many people, Jan. 2 is d-day - diet day, that is. Losing weight can be a laudable goal, but this year I'm going to think about weightier matters - weighty as in 'of great importance', a definition that does not apply to dress size. I have found that I feel instantly lighter when I stop asking 'Why are my thighs so squidgy?' , amd start asking 'what would really make me happy right now? ' whenever body shame creeps up on me, I resolve to focus on adding meaning to my life."

Does this resonate for you? What is your reaction to this "counter- resolution"?

[lee058]

Hi everybody. It's the middle of the night, and as usual, I woke up after sleeping for awhile, so here I am. I really appreciate reading today's topic. I get SO incredibly bored (and angry, and frustrated) reading about or listening to people fretting about their weight like it's the most important thing about them and their lives. Thank you, Lynne, for quoting this article which is much more in tune with how I feel. "I resolve to focus on adding meaning to my life." What a beautiful and succinct statement!

Please don't misunderstand me; I am tremendously overweight myself, but that is not ALL there is to me. I am working on taking better care of myself, and that includes eating fresher foods, more vegetables, etc. I also am working on living an emotionally (and mentally, spiritually, and so on) healthier life, which is very important to me.

I'm sorry if I offended anyone, but honestly, I feel so frustrated sometimes when talking with other people!!!

I'll be back later. Have a peaceful rest of the night, Lee

[peachymom1]

My DS26 (the scientist) and I joke this time of year about how long it will take for the gym to start thinning out at peak hours again. And last week my office was abuzz with people talking excitedly about their new diets, to all of whom I simply smiled and nodded and said "Great, good luck!" even though I know these new diets are a bunch of BS.

What a great idea to choose something different to focus on. It reminds me of the days of reflection before our High Holidays begin, where I do much more of a soul-searching self-inventory and try to see what I can learn from my past mistakes and where I can do better. I like Martha Beck's attitude.

[peachymom1]

Lee, I think you make a great point: "...that is not ALL there is to me." I certainly think watching my weight and being healthy are important, but I agree with you 100% -- there's much more to me, and I want to love my whole self, not just the self I see in the mirror.

[savtele]

Boker Tov All! I LOVE this! (and I love Martha Beck!!!)

I am always put off when I read that someone was "devastated" that they gained 2# after working out every single day & measuring every bite going into their mouths. I, rather unkindly, pointed out to someone once that on the same board where they were stating their devastation, we had 1 woman whose husband was awaiting a heart transplant, another who was going through chemo, someone else's husband had lost their job - what word do they use for their catastrophe if 2# merits "devastation!"

I love when I am able to lose some weight. I certainly know that I feel better, that my joints ache less & that I sleep better!
I also love when I am able to work out on a regular basis. I love the "righteously tired" feeling after a good workout! (note: I don't actually love the workout itself, just the results) And I love the feeling of strength that happens over time.
But my life cannot revolve around my eating habits or my workouts!

We all have "real lives" to contend with! Big, beautiful, messy, lovely lives! (yep, I LOVE Martha Beck!)

I'm off to the pool.
Have a good day ladies!

[louise]

Love this. There are definitely times when all I see is a fat (and lately, old)woman - sometimes I have a script running like "My rabbi (or whoever)is talking to me like there is nothing wrong with me." Somehow this comes as a surprise to me. There's a part of me of course that knows that this is bogus and sells me seriously short, but that's still where I go all too often.

[happysavta]

Hi, chaverot.

Been very busy the last couple of days, dealing with some very stressful and unpleasant issues. This too shall pass.

Today was super busy. DS#4 is sick with a cold/cough/plugged up ears. Now it's moved to both his eyes which are swollen and pus filled. He couldn't go to work today, but he brought a doctor's note. We had to go to his sleep apnea supplier too and have to go back again tomorrow. We drove to 5 places this morning to do his appointments and errands.

I've gained a lot of weight in the past couple of months, back up over 210, and that is distressing. I did not attend a fancy dinner at a country club on Saturday night with my husband to celebrate a 100th birthday. Felt too fat and frumpy to go. The women in that posh crowd go to great extremes to remain slim and looking much younger than they are.

Thank you Lynn for today's message. I really appreciated it.

[hollygail]

Frieda, so sorry you're feeling down.

Friday night, I was looking for something that I thought might be in what most people would describe as the "hall closet" (except in our house, there's no "hall" per se; that closet is in the living room). As a walked along the wall (parallel to the closet door), I heard a strange noise, so I stopped to listen. I didn't hear it until I started walking again, so I stopped again. Silence. The third time I started walking I recognized the sound: the swishing or squishing of water. Under the floor. Oy. (We have laminate flooring.) Saturday was worse; some of the flooring was puckering. DH called the (homeowners) insurance company's 800 number to file a claim. They got back with us Sunday, and today there were guys from the restoration company, a flood control company, someone testing to see if we had asbestos in the walls (a California requirement for homes built before a certain year, maybe 1980? 1985? and this house was built in the 1970s), and finally a guy from a plumbing company... Today, more come, like 9:00 we're told to expect a packing crew. They're gonna pack up our living room and dining room, and if we're lucky, NOT the kitchen or laundry room... Ugh. We went through this a couple of years ago. It's not fun. So far, the hot water is off (luckily we took very quick showers early); I heated water on the stove to wash some dishes... I did two loads of laundry using cold water (I typically use cold for colored cottons). I really don't like this kind of inconvenience...

I'll be back tomorrow. (My office is upstairs in the second bedroom.)