|
|
Post by gazelle18 on Jan 11, 2017 22:27:55 GMT -5
What’s on your mind — how to make kugel? This week’s Torah reading? Life goals? Prayer? We are all engaged in weight loss/weight maintenance journeys and we are all Jewish or at least interested in Judaism. We like to eat, we like to discuss. It is our goal here to provide each other support on our journeys, to share experiences, to call on our rich cultural heritage and texts, and to help each other grow spiritually.
Some of us take weekly turns starting the thread:
Angelika
Holly
Lee
Louise
Lynne
Peachy
And for those of you that stop by to read this thread without posting - you are welcome to do that but you are also welcome to chime in!
|
|
|
|
Post by gazelle18 on Jan 11, 2017 22:50:19 GMT -5
Hi everyone,
Another counter-resolution from !artha Beck:
"FORGET WHAT I'VE LEARNED. The ancient Chinese Tao Te Ching taught me that to attain knowledge, every day you must learn something, and to attain wisdom, every day you must unlearn something. A deep intelligence lies within us, and wisdom comes from releasing misperceptions that cloud it. So this year I resolve to unlearn. I notice that when I scrutinize thoughts that create negative feelings - for instance, 'I never do anything fall apart. (I do a lot of things right!) I pledge to steer my brain toward truer stories, until it develops new, less paralyzing thought patterns. Lesson unlearned."
My mother drives me crazy, and tomorrow, I am to take her to the doctor, where she may be receiving some bad news regarding a recurrence of her lung cancer. (She has been called in to see the doctor who ordered the latest X-ray.) All day I have been telling myself that I'm not going to do well with this situation. After reading this counter resolution, I am resolving to unlearn an old thought ("I always allow my mother to upset me.") I need to be there for my mother tomorrow, and at the same time protect myself, but I can do this. I am capable of getting through the day , while being both a good daughter and a good protector of my own psyche.
What old thoughts can you (should you) unlearn?
|
|
|
|
Post by happysavta on Jan 12, 2017 0:23:54 GMT -5
Goodness, there are so many old (negative) thoughts singing in my head, I could write an opera.
Soprano: Nobody really likes me, especially when they get to know me.
Alto: You're afraid of everything, big and small, so just hide in bed and pretend to be asleep.
Tenor: You're pretty ugly and drab, little girl, young lady, miss, mrs., senior lady.
Bass: You're never going to lose the weight. Give up.
|
|
|
|
Post by hollygail on Jan 12, 2017 1:54:51 GMT -5
First of all, Lynne, good luck tomorrow. Please keep us posted.
Second, interesting opera, Frieda!
Third, the mishegoss has halted. (yeah, I know; totally unexpected turnaround DH made) We may have to spend one or two nights in a hotel (or motel) when one of the categories of things takes place (there's some law in California about asbestos and another about lead in a building built prior to a certain year; our wall tested positive for asbestos). So when they do whatever magic it is they do in houses that have asbestos, we're not going to be permitted to sleep here... Separately, they're gonna take up all the flooring in the downstairs. I get to pick new linoleum for the kitchen, laundry room and downstairs bathroom. I still have to figure out whether to replace the laminate in the living room and dining room with carpet (DH is VERY hard on carpeting) or laminate or tile or what. DH has ideas, but he's not dead set on anything. I'd like to give it some real thought this time... (I looked around the kitchen tonight and gave a few minutes serious' thought to replacing the stove too; we'd of course be responsible for paying for that. And the cabinetry is more than 40 years old; very dark stain on the wood — I'm torn about changing the kitchen cabinets.)
I made some major changes in my self-talk starting around age 35. Too much to go into now, but suffice it to say that one of the things I changed was the negative self-talk into neutral or positive/affirmative self-talk. Like, I used to kick myself whenever I depended on someone to do something I'd asked for and the person (after saying yes) didn't carry through: my refrain had to do with "I can't rely on anyone except myself..." I'm a much happier person than I was prior to age 35...
|
|
lee058
This space for rent
Posts: 23,285 
|
Post by lee058 on Jan 12, 2017 7:36:42 GMT -5
Good morning everybody. Hope you are all well today, and that we will all be successful in stopping any negative self-talk, especially in dealing with problems!!! I love today's quote and everybody's responses so far! This is such an important idea --- that we can unlearn harmful self-talk and substitute helpful ideas instead. I used to not even realize that I was thinking negatively about myself as it was such a habit. I feel that I am making a lot of progress in this area, and hope to keep it up.
I'll be back later. Have a peaceful day, Lee
|
|
|
|
Post by savtele on Jan 12, 2017 9:13:08 GMT -5
Boker Tov All!
I've been learning for years to change the negative self-talk. Interesting to me that the negative is almost always the 1st voice I hear - and it is ok to tell that voice to "shut up!" At first I had to be rather forceful with that voice, now a simple reminder suffices.
It helps me to remember that self-talk, like any other conversation, is talking with a person - me! Often I talk to myself in ways I would never dream of talking to a friend. It's ok to stop doing that.
Our heatpump is making strange noises - I turned it off. (the furnace is on without it now) I guess after weeks of running, it is not happy with the ice and snow out there! I'm off to make a nice fire in the stove.
I was supposed to work at the antique mall today - I need to check if they will be open (closed yesterday, due to snow) My only problem would be getting down our hill - John offered to drive down ahead of me & see how it is.
Have a good day ladies!
|
|
|
|
Post by louise on Jan 12, 2017 14:18:19 GMT -5
I like this idea of unlearning something as a path to wisdom. We do sometimes get stuck and if we do the work we can notice that the situation has changed, or we ourselves changed, or some combination of these. I think several of us have mentioned at different times that our need to be right has changed. Sometimes it's our priorities or perspective that has changed. Last night I was talking to a friend that is scheduled for double knee replacement soon - she said she misses being able to walk until her feet hurt. In a similar vein I would love to be able to complain about my big hips again (now all parts are big!).
Today is my birthday. A colleague brought me some roses and the company sprang for a dozen of those fancy cupcakes - you better believe I had one! Tonight I'm going with a friend to a concert of Jewish medieval music. She sent me links to several restaurants for dinner - I know she wanted to take me to the kind of place where they would write my name in chocolate syrup around the perimeter of the plate or some such but the menus were mostly conspicuous treif - even the pasta dishes had ham or shrimp or something. Yesterday I spoke up and selected "Murray's Falafel and Grill" - it may not have the ambience she had in mind but I can eat everything on the menu and that makes me a happy camper! I'm looking forward to the evening.
|
|
lee058
This space for rent
Posts: 23,285
|
Post by lee058 on Jan 12, 2017 17:07:07 GMT -5
Hi again everybody. Just looking in after a busy day, while finally sitting down and relaxing! One thing I had to unlearn was the thought that I couldn't do this, that or the other thing. In many cases, I just hadn't tried. Since I've been turning that around, I have been finding that I am more capable than I had given myself credit for. This makes me feel good. Of course, some things still are too difficult, but many others are not. You never know unless you try, right?
Have a peaceful evening, Lee
|
|
