Jewish Musings, Wednesday 2/8

[lee058]

What’s on your mind — how to make kugel? This week’s Torah reading? Life goals? Prayer? We are all engaged in weight loss/weight maintenance journeys and we are all Jewish or at least interested in Judaism. We like to eat, we like to discuss. It is our goal here to provide each other support on our journeys, to share experiences, to call on our rich cultural heritage and texts, and to help each other grow spiritually.

Some of us take weekly turns starting the thread:

Angelika
Holly
Lee
Louise
Lynne
Peachy

And for those of you that stop by to read this thread without posting — you are welcome to do that but you are also welcome to chime in!

[lee058]

Good morning everybody. Hope you are all well today. Yesterday I got the equipment to do a sleep study at home; it is a headband with a monitor and nosepiece. I wore it last night and slept surprisingly well (although I woke up at 3AM), and I will be wearing it tonight. I'm going to return it Thursday or Friday, depending on the weather on Thursday. The pulmonary doctor wants to see if my sleep apnea has gotten worse or better or remained the same since I did my last sleep study a few years ago. I'm glad I am seeing these various doctors and finding things out about my health; it's better to know what's going on, I've decided.

As for today's topic, I've been thinking more about the tarot card that I mentioned the other day. To summarize, basically the Death card means change. I've been contemplating the relationship between those two concepts, death and change. Certainly death is a change, but can't change also be sometimes considered a little death? In order to change, a person has to say goodbye to some ideas and/or actions. This can be done gradually, so that it is relatively painless, or it can be done in one big action, so that sometimes it can really hurt. It all depends on how strong the attachment is to whatever idea or action you're dealing with. Sometimes, people can take "baby steps" --- even if they are working on making a big change --- and other times, they can't. You can't climb Mt. Everest in one day, and you can't lose weight that way either, no matter how much you wish it were true.

For me, I've noticed that even when changes seem to happen quickly, they are based on ideas and/or actions that have come before them. When my views about a person or a concept have changed, they have generally had many influences, some of which I hadn't even realized were affecting my point of view. What a person says or does over time adds to how I feel and what I think about them. My thoughts and feelings about, say, political ideas are influenced by years of reading, conversations, personal interactions, and so on.

Of course, some things can change rapidly or at once. If I hear or read about someone making anti-Jewish remarks, for example, that will change my opinion of them immediately.

I'll be back later. Have a peaceful day, Lee

[hollygail]

I know a woman who was going to the same hairdresser for years and years (well over 10 years) and she loved the way he cut her hair. Then one day, he said something negative about a group, and I apologize, but I don't remember whether it was racist or anti-Italian, or what (not anti-Semitic, that I would certainly remember). She spoke up; he seemed surprised by what she said (she didn't attack him or anything, only that she found his remarks to be prejudiced). She asked me who cuts my hair, and now she goes to my hairdresser.

More later.

[Annette]

Hi ladies. Just wanted to say hello. I tried OA again for the millionth time and left for the millionth time once again. I just can't seem to commit food to another person. I feel too suffocated. So I'm trying the old core program. Hopefully I'll be able to do it on my own.
Have a great day everyone. I'm actually looking forward to some snow. I'm retired so I can watch the snow fall with our backdrop of the NY skyline.

[hollygail]

I won't have a lot of time today, so am keeping this brief. I've heard it said that divorce is like a death, so I have to agree with you, Lee, that change is like a small death of whatever it is that "was" but is no more. The Death tarot card definitely indicates change, not necessarily a physical death of something/someone that was a living being...

The guys are downstairs. They're laying the flooring in the kitchen, laundry room and bathroom today. They plan to move the appliances (fridge, stove, washer & dryer) back tomorrow (so not only do I get to cook, but I get to do laundry at home instead of shlepping it to a laundromat). The flooring for the dining room and living room should arrive next week. Can't wait for all this mishegoss to be finished with!

[louise]

This is interesting thinking about change and death together in this way. I'm picturing fields planted, harvested, and then planted again. A new habit does often mean a good-bye to another habit. It's a little like having to break an egg in order to make the next thing. Our mindset when detaching from one and moving toward another is critical for how difficult this process is, how attached we were, how determined we are about moving on.

Went for a CT scan today - a 6 month follow up because they saw so many nodules on an earlier scan. Everything is the same so I don't have to go back for another year.

[lee058]

Hi again everybody. I am happy, as always, to read your responses when I do the lead! It brightens up my day. Right now, I am very tired as it has been a busy, busy day, and I overused my shoulder even though I tried to take care of it. In 25 minutes, I can take some more Tylenol. It's too bad that doctors are so afraid now of giving patients pain medicine, just because some people abuse them!!!

I'd write more but I really am exhausted. I will check back later to read if anyone posts more, though.

Have a peaceful late afternoon/early evening, Lee

[happysavta]

Goodness, what a busy day I've had today in Houston. Cooked about 4-5 hours this morning in 85 degree weather and then drove to the airport (1st time) to pick up my husband. Thank goodness for the GPS. Of course, I got lost anyway, but it does cut down the number of times I get lost, so that is significant progress!

Anyhow, I cooked all morning, served dinner tonight for my daughter and son in law and the girls. Everything came out delicious. Eggplant in tomato sauce, zucchini coins, corn on the cob, chopped salad, fresh fruit for dessert. I cook vegetarian for my daughter and also my husband, though apparently an occasional hamburger or kabob is vegetarian approved. I put up a couple of children's meals too so we have something to pull out of the fridge on short notice during the school week.

For the millionth time, I bought yet another set of 3 teflon coated frying pans for this house. Every time I come to Houston, I need to buy new pots or pans. My daughter, successful and gifted as she is in all other areas, is a zero in the kitchen. Truth be told, she doesn't cook, certainly not from scratch. She buys meals at Whole Foods or Trader Joes and then warms them. Her version of warming food is to burn it to a cinder. She cremates all her frying pans along with the food and it's impossible to scrub them clean, though I have tried, truly I have. This time, I told her that the new set of frying pans are mine and mine alone and off limits to her. I didn't throw away her blackened and crusted pans; they are hers to continue using.

Tonight my son-in-law's parents are also arriving in Houston from Boca Ratan, Florida. We like to stay in our daughter's home (there's a guest bedroom with a private bath) but they don't. They like to stay in a hotel. I like to cook and we like to eat home cooked meals with our daughter and family, but they like to eat out. So we are a perfect match. They aren't upset that we take the guest bedroom and we're not upset that we go eat out every night. Perfect.

Tomorrow night is the event on campus for my son-in-law and his new book, "Stretch". One of the speakers is Brene Brown who wrote "The Gifts of Imperfection". Anyone read it? I remember quoting something from it a couple of months ago on Jewish Musings, but I don't remember exactly what that thread was about. On Feb. 13th, he flies to his first book promotion which will be in San Francisco. He has 11 or 12 trips already scheduled for the book.

His book actually came out in print yesterday and to mark the occasion, we all went to a local Barnes and Nobles and took a picture of it sitting on the "Recent Publications" table. Happily, someone bought a copy while we were there, so he signed it and the manager asked him to sign a couple more copies on the table.

The two little girls took chalk and decorated the sidewalk and walkway to the front door outside their home with "Congratulations" and "Daddy is an author" and "Stretch Rules" and drawings. Very sweet! Tonight I drove the older girl to Hebrew school after school. She is taking tennis lessons this year. Tennis and golf are very big in her dad's,family. Our side is unathletic, so say the least, so I'm glad she has that from the other side. The younger girl is taking gymnastic lessons and she's as limber as a monkey. It's hilarious watching her swing from her knees only, on her stomach, and hurl herself to the ground in the dismount.

Of course, all this has nothing whatsoever with our topic today, so I hope you'll indulge me in this bit of babble.






Tomorrow, I'll offer to take my "mechutin" shopping and to lunch. They will be here for a week; usually they just come for a weekend, but the mom has see some doctors in town for a 2nd opinion and probably some tests. She has recently gotten a diagnosis that will require some form of treatment, but she hasn't chosen the route she feels most comfortable taking.

Friday night we'll all go to the Ruach service at the synagogue my daughter belongs to. I absolutely love the Ruach service; it's so lively and fun. The Rabbi plays the guitar, they have a cantor, we dance with the girls, and there's a catered dinner afterwards. They have their own in-house caterer; these congregants like to eat together. My daughter has made some good friends there and they all know me by name too and come up and talk to me.