Jewish Musings, Sunday, February 26, 2017

[peachymom1]

What’s on your mind — how to make kugel? This week’s Torah reading? Life goals? Prayer? We are all engaged in weight loss/weight maintenance journeys and we are all Jewish or at least interested in Judaism. We like to eat, we like to discuss. It is our goal here to provide each other support on our journeys, to share experiences, to call on our rich cultural heritage and texts, and to help each other grow spiritually.

Some of us take weekly turns starting the thread:

Angelika
Holly
Lee
Louise
Lynne
Peachy

And for those of you that stop by to read this thread without posting - you are welcome to do that but you are also welcome to chime in!

[peachymom1]

Good morning and shavua tov!

So the Oscars are tonight, and although it’s not something that’s terribly important in my life, it certainly grabs the attention of lots and lots of people, year after year. And although we only live about 15 miles away from Hollywood, we don’t go anywhere near that direction for the week leading up to the event, because the traffic is worse than horrible, Hollywood Bl. Is shut down, and it’s a nightmare. But this is a night of glamor and achievement, and many, many people will be watching tonight.

So I have some questions. What exactly is it about the Oscars that is so compelling to people? How important is it to you? Why? Is it simply because movies are such wonderful entertainment that the Oscars are the pinnacle of everything they represent? Is it because we love the competition? The glamor? The anticipation? If you’re not that much into it, like me, why do you think others find it so fascinating?

One more question. If you think about movies in general, from any time or genre, which ones would you put in the category of movies everyone should see? What movies have such an important message or are so well acted that you feel they should not be missed by anyone? I mean movies other than just fun or funny ones that are simply for amusement; I’m thinking of movies with vital themes that teach us or move us or enlighten us in some important way.

Two come to mind for me. First, “An “An Officer and a Gentleman.” The message of learning to be a person of character when your parents stacked the deck against you is an important one for me. Second, “Regarding Henry.” Losing your memory, then finding out to your own horror what a schmuck you used to be, then deciding what to do about it. Wonderful acting and character development in both of these.

How about you?

[hollygail]

I don't watch any of the awards shows (DH does). I'd rather not put in writing what I think are reasons people are drawn to such shows...

However, as to the question of what I think should be seen by everyone: ET, the ExtraTerrestrial. The bond between two disparate "people" is touching and ... how do I put this ... so bloody timely ... just think about immigrants for a moment... if ET wasn't an immigrant, what better word could you find?

[lee058]

Good morning everybody. Hope you are all well. My shoulder is still hurting a lot, but I am using my ice pack, taking Tylenol, and using my left arm instead of my right as much as possible. I have laundry to do today, but am being very careful. There is also a sink full of pots and pans (H cooked yesterday), but I am not going to do them today. Maybe H will do them when he gets home (he had to go into work today), but if he doesn't, I will try to do them tomorrow. DS has problems with some chores, so I will ask him to unload the dishwasher and carry the laundry baskets up and down the stairs, but I don't think he would do a good job on the pots and pans.

Re the Oscars and movies in general: I LOVE the movies!!! I have so many favorites that it would be difficult for me to pick out just a few that I think everyone should see. As for the Oscars, I probably won't watch them tonight because DS is working early tomorrow as usual, so I won't be able to stay up late. Otherwise, this is the first year in a long time that I actually have some interest in seeing the show. DS and I have been to more movies than usual this past year, so we have seen some of the ones that are up for awards. I would like to see "Arrival" win for best picture, but I think that "La La Land" will probably win. The latter was a very good movie, but it just didn't have the intellectual kick that "Arrival" did.

Time for me to go check the wash. I'll be back later. Have a peaceful day, Lee

[gazelle18]

Why do some people love the Oscars? I enjoy them, don't love them, and only for a while. I do enjoy the fashion (I don't care about the name of the designer, I just love ogling the dresses!) I usually enjoy the comedy routines at the outset, but think the musical numbers are boring. I generally don't care much about who wins, as I often feel like the award goes to the person "whose turn it is."

One of my favorite movies (and I have many) is Funny Girl. My favorite message is not so much the one about an awkward Jewish girl being capable of being a star, although that one is fun. If you'll remember, the movie is one big flashback, where the older and wiser Fanny reflects on her marriage to Nicky, and comes to the mature conclusion that although she loves him, the relationship was not a healthy one for either, and she decides to let him go. This resonated with me. (Sigh!)

[savtele]

Boker Tov All! We also do not watch the Oscars - I just never got into it.

I like history-inspired movies - I'm a great fan of movies that show the ins and outs of why things happened the way they did. "Ike" with Tom Selleck (I know, hard to believe that TS could play Eisenhower!) was, IMO, a great movie! So - although I know that the musical, LA LA Land, will probably walk away with most of the awards this year, my personal pick would have to be "Hidden Figures" or "Jackie." But that's just me!

It's pouring and cold this AM. Only good thing about it - it's too warm for snow (38 deg).

I need more coffee. (I'm cooking some peaches that I had frozen last summer to put on our oatmeal)

Have a good day ladies!

[peachymom1]

Hello again, everyone, interesting comments!

Do you mind if I whine a little? It's cold and rainy here, and I do have to go out in it, unfortunately. We have to go to the butcher, we have to drive DS26 and his girlfriend home, and a good friend is celebrating her 50th birthday today, so I'm going to a champagne brunch. I'm delighted to spend time with my friend and the others there, but I know I will be tempted by unlimited food. My plan is to load my plate up with fruits and vegetables, and join in the conversations so I don't focus so much on the food.

The whine-worthier part, though, is that on Friday morning the smoke / carbon monoxide alarm went off at home. The gas company came right out to check; the heater and oven will have to be replaced, and we can't use them in the meantime. Our apartment manager will call it in first thing Monday morning, but for now we're using space heaters to warm it up in here, and I got out the electric blanket for our bed. Fortunately, this is soCal, so it doesn't get terribly cold, but it's still a PITA. We just got a new microwave last week, after the old one died and we were without one for two weeks, so at least we can cook, and we can use the stove top too. But it's still aggravating. We wanted to make baked chicken and meatloaf and roasted vegetables this week...OY!

[happysavta]

I used to watch the Oscars when I was in high school, but nowadays I am bored by the show. The movies available in the theater nowadays are mostly drek. Every week, I check Moviefone and there's nothing worth seeing. Like Lee, I love the movies, but I'd rather watch an oldie again than see the violent, stupid, poorly written new movies.

My favorite Oscar winner was Roberto Benigni in "Life is Beautiful". I laughed my head off when he climbed over rows of seats and teetered over people's heads to reach the stage instead of walking down the aisle. His English was so limited that he could barely say "Thank you", but he pantomimed his thanks in body language. A lot of the recipients use the thank you speech time as a political platform, but I'm only interested in the movies they were in. The Oscars morphing into "Face the Nation" bores me. And by the way, the people giving these homilies are wearing dresses and jewelry that cost enough money to feed all the poor in America and beyond. The "average" Oscar gown costs $50,000, not to mention that the jewelry being strutted isn't cubic zirconia. Cate Blanchett wore $1.8 million dollars worth of finery one year. These folks could feed all the poor children in America with their ridiculous, hugely inflated salaries. If they would do that, I'd be happy to listen to their political views.

I've seen most of the movies for best picture this year. I saw Fences, Hacksaw Ridge, Manchester by the Sea, La La Land, Lion, Arrival, Hidden Figures. I didn't see Hell or High Water or Moonlight.

My vote for best picture of 2017 would be Fences. Great script, great acting, totally believable, poignant, heart-wrenching, uplifting.

The movie that impacted me the most was Zorba the Greek in 1964 with Anthony Quinn and Alan Bates. Anthony Quinn, a rough, illiterate laborer teaches Alan Bates, an introverted British professor who trying write a book in Greece, how to feel fully alive, how to experience life in all its beauty and ugliness, how to dance and how to cry. He teaches him not to sit on the sidelines and observe life, not to read about life, not to write about life, but to be alive himself and feel both joy and pain.

[lee058]

Back again for a bit. I took a nap after finishing up the laundry and am feeling more rested. DS helped out with a bunch of things today, and I told him how much I appreciated it. Whoops, the phone is ringing. Have a peaceful evening, Lee

[happysavta]

Hi. It's just 2:00 pm here in San Diego. It's grey and cloudy; we're expecting Peachy's rain to get here from L.A. soon. I am calming down after losing my cool with DS#4.

DS#4 doesn't have a car today and he has to get to work. His car broke down Friday night; engine light came on plus the battery light. I told him to get up at 9 am on Saturday morning and I would come over and call AAA. He didn't get out of bed till 10:45 on Saturday and I didn't know where his car was parked. When he made contact, I went to his house and called AAA. Battery was fine; but the problem was the alternator. AAA guy recommended the corner mechanic, 2 blocks away. We got the car to the mechanic at 11:15 am. and he says he can get the alternator fixed by 12:30 pm. Martin has to be at work at 1 pm, so I am relieved. I turn to Martin and say, "Now do you understand why you needed to get up at 9am today?" He assures me that he will never do that again, blah, blah, he will set his alarm, blah, blah, he's going to get up every day and get stuff done on time, blah, blah. But he doesn't get back at 1:30 pm and is an hour late to work, boss is irritated. When he gets home that night, he calls to tell me the engine light is still on and the mechanic told him something else needs to be checked, but he can't remember what.

OK, so we set a plan for Sunday. He'll get up at 9 am, take care of cleaning chores, then I'll drive over to his house; he will drive me right back home and take my car to work. I'll drive DH's car since he's in China anyway. That's the plan. He assures me he will get up.

Now we come to reality of Sunday morning and how I lost my cool. DS#4 has to get to work at 1 pm. today and he'll need my car. I called him at 9 am, 9:30 am, 10 am, 10:30 am, 11:00 am, 11:30 am, followed by text messages each time. "Are you awake? Call me." " "Are you dressed? Call me." "Have you washed the dishes, wiped the table, picked up trash from the floor? Call me." No response.

Finally at 11:30 am, I text him that I'm on my way over; I want to give him the car. He responds with "K". I had prepared and packed him a breakfast, a lunch and a dinner because he won't do it for himself. He will starve until 6 pm and then binge with pizza at home. He finally calls and I ask if he's dressed and he answers "almost." I tell him to be sure to get to work on time, can't be late 2 days in a row. I ask him if he did anything this morning, any chores, anything at all. He answers, "No, I didn't sleep well." I can hear from his voice that he is still lounging in bed and hasn't gotten up yet. I get mad and tell him that he can't have my car and to call an Uber to get to work. He says he has an Uber app on his phone.

By now, it's nearly noon and I know that he's probably going to be late to work. When I get to his house, he opens the door in his underwear, not dressed for work, hasn't taken his meds or brushed his teeth. He's going to be late for work; that's for certain. So I scream at him at him to hurry up, move quickly, get dressed, call an Uber. I bark out instructions, one after another. I call him a few choice names, and that irritates him. He slows down instead of speeding up. He fumbles with the Uber app and it becomes apparent that he hasn't created an Uber account. So I call Uber on my phone. He asks me to run to his car out on the street and get his name badge for work. He lost his name badge on Friday, had to ask for a new one yesterday and since I'm unable to find it, he will have to ask for another one again today. That will irritate his boss too. Meanwhile the Uber shows up in 4 minutes and I run to the curb to stall the driver since DS#4 is still not ready. I go back to his apartment, scream some more, and finally DS#4 runs out in his socks, holding his shoes, his belt, and his jacket in his hands. I hand him the food bag and send him off with a curt "Goodbye."

He texts me at 12:53 to let me know that he arrived at work on time. I feel like I need a heart and lung transplant; I'm shaking and sitting in my car trying to calm down and shake off all the dark thoughts in my head, and stop wishing E.T. would go home to his planet already.

One problem is the Asperger's brain. Yes, he is very high functioning, he is smart and he can learn, but the next day all the information is erased and we're always back to Square One. And that, dear friends, is the source of my frustration. I need to see progress, some results for all the efforts I make. I can't stand always being at Square One.

I also have some complaints about DS#4 that have nothing to do with his disability. He won't get out of bed. He won't answer his phone. He won't follow through on commitments and promises. He won't make any effort or bear any discomfort. He's lazy and wants to be a needy baby who is taken care of. He gets other people to solve his problems, so he doesn't have to do anything himself. I think that what he was aiming to achieve today was to make me rescue him. I think he wanted me to drive him to work today and pick him up. I think he purposely delayed and delayed until there was no other choice. But if I had had to drive him to work, I would have been berating him non-stop for the whole time and saying some nasty, hurtful things. I would have lost all control over my speech muscles.

He owes me $13 for the Uber.

[louise]

Busy all day. Had an author speaker at a brunch this morning at my synagogoue - the author has an SS type officer on one side of her family and holocaust survivors on the other. What a story! Her name is Rita Gabis and the book is A Guest at the Shooters' Banquet.

From there I went to see DXH's sister, one of whom had a birthday today (and his was last week).

Food was tricky for me - not a perfect day but not a catastrophe either. For some reason DXH's best friend brought me a challah and a tub of rugelach in honor of my birthday last month. My goal is NOT TO OPEN the rugelach. Jut bring it to the office. They're calling me - tie me to the mast please.

Can't think of what my favorite movies are right now but there are a bunch being honored this evening that I would like to see (haven't been in a long time). I watch for the fashion, the pageantry, and to learn a little about the movies. As for the "show" aspect I guess it's like watchingroyalty - I would never own or wear such dresses - what a tremendous sense of self it takes!

I don't watch all of it (always multi-tasking) but am hoping to catch Lin-Manuel Miranda

[hollygail]

Lots going on with everyone today! My morning was a little trying. First, my madrich, teen aid, had a meeting, then worked one on one with the girl whose bat mitzvah is right after Pesach and she's nowhere near ready, then he had to leave because he wasn't feeling well. So I juggled 10 or 12 students, most of whom have a date for their bnai mitzvah (only two boys don't), so they all were supposed to be working on their Torah or haftarah portions as I went around to sit with each one for a little while (boy does THAT get tiresome). At one point, I was in the hallway working with the girl whose bat mitzvah is right after Pesach; from the hallway I heard two of the boys (one with and one without a bar mitzvah date) talking relatively loud. I walked into the room and told the two of them to come with me; where are we going? To [the principal's] office. How many times did I tell you (speaking to the boy without a bar mitzvah date) not to distract the others? (I provided him with some "fun" Purim stuff, including four word search pages)... Although, to be fair, when the boys came back, the latter one very very VERY articulately apologized to me (the other boy, who's generally one of the best kids in the room, also apologized).

Okay. Fast forward to my afternoon class. We had four students today, and since we won't meet again until the Sunday of Purim, we did a Purim lesson. One of the things I most like to do is share some Purim fun with my students (I do the same thing with my adult students, by the way). After we know the story (and I tell them it's not gallows that Haman builds for Mordechai but the stake), I have them write a song. I advise them to choose a melody that everyone knows (they always want a current pop tune, and I tell them the adults don't know current songs and strongly recommend something like Row, Row, Row Your Boat, or Twinkle, Twinkle Little Star). They settled on Do Your Ears Hang Low. Here are the lyrics they came up with (and we're going to perform it at the Religious School's Purim celebration).

Do you like hamentashen
If so, then you can nosh ‘em
You can celebrate with groggers
With the cobblers and the toddlers
You can dress up like Queen Esther
— Or even like a jester
Do you like Pu- rim?

You know Haman was the bad guy
‘cause he wanted Jews to die
Mordechai, that man, found out
and he spread the word about
And then Esther told the king
Of the death HahMAHN would bring
Do you like Pu- rim?

Soon enough HahMAHN was gone
And we all could say, “So long!”
Now the Jews were safe
So we all can celebrate
We can eat hamentashen
And dress up like a possum
‘Cause we like Pu- rim!

So I'm in a really good mood now!

[louise]

About the rugelach - . It started that I noticed the tub wasn’t sealed (oy!) then I just had a slice of one and ended up slivering it to completion. Then I reached for a second one and went for the pepper. They are now in the garbage covered with pepper. Case closed.