Jewish Musings, Monday, February 27, 2017

[peachymom1]

What’s on your mind — how to make kugel? This week’s Torah reading? Life goals? Prayer? We are all engaged in weight loss/weight maintenance journeys and we are all Jewish or at least interested in Judaism. We like to eat, we like to discuss. It is our goal here to provide each other support on our journeys, to share experiences, to call on our rich cultural heritage and texts, and to help each other grow spiritually.

Some of us take weekly turns starting the thread:

Angelika
Holly
Lee
Louise
Lynne
Peachy

And for those of you that stop by to read this thread without posting - you are welcome to do that but you are also welcome to chime in!

[peachymom1]

Good morning everyone!

For the rest of this week, I’d like to talk about transitions and perspectives. I’ve been facing a number of changes in these areas lately, so I’d like your input and opinions.

Last week, my dear boss called a staff meeting and announced her resignation. Since then, we’ve been scrambling to organize our work and responsibilities, in preparation for her yet-to-be-determined successor. The rest of my team is indispensable to our department, but if the new VP brings in his/her own executive assistant, my job will be unnecessary, and they’ll lay me off.

I mentioned a few weeks ago, when another EA was laid off, that I have already thought about what I would do if I lost my job, and although I would be sad to go, I can deal with that. But this all has made me think about how people feel about their work, and how they identify with it. I never intended to be a career EA; I thought it was just a job until I figured out what else to do with myself. I do like the work, I like taking care of people, organizing their lives and making their jobs easier, and I’m good at what I do. But my new boss might not be the fine example of hard work and professionalism that this boss is. What if I get a jerk? Ah well, I’ll have to wait and see.

When I was a teacher, then a stay-at-home mom, I truly felt that my job was my identity. I was proud to say, “I’m a high school teacher” or “I’m a full-time mother of three children.” But even after 24 years as an EA, when people ask me what I do, I almost feel like I have to apologize for not being more than that. Some people have even criticized me for “not using my college degree.” The last time I was out of work, a rabbi I know told me that I’d be happier leaving the corporate world and working in the non-profit sector. He meant well, but how could he even imagine I would have such a choice? I had mouths to feed and twin bar mitzvahs coming up; I took the first job I was offered and was darn happy to get it, corporate world and all, and it turned out to be the best job I’ve ever had.

Besides the question of identity itself, why are some people critical of how others make a living? When I was a teacher, I was criticized for teaching in an inner-city public school. When I was a SAHM, I got criticized for not helping support my family. When I started doing clerical work, I got criticized for not using my degree. Is it just MY family, neighbors and in-laws that are this way? The one take-away I’ve learned from all this is to stop listening to other people’s idiot judgment.

What are your experiences and thoughts about work identity and transitions?

[momof2]

Boker Tov!
Transition is hard. Even though I don't think I would be a full time teacher again, too much work comes home. I was a full time substitute before children. When DD was born, I cut down to 3 days a week. When DS was born, I'm now at one day a week. Why? The only time I have with only DS, is when DS is at preschool. I enjoy every moment. Also taking care of the house, making sure things are ready for DH, etc. It took me a long time to get used to it. My mom said I may want to work next year, to get out of the house. DMIL couldn't understand why I wanted to work. Currently, the plan is when DD is in kindergarten, the DS will start daycare. I would have time to sub and volunteer in DD's classroom!
It does take a while for a transition, more mental for acceptance of self.
DS is now cruising around the furniture, standing up in his crib. DD passed a level in swimming. Both happy kids. Most of the time, they love each other. I love seeing their relationship grow.
Hi to all,
Tamara

[savtele]

Boker Tov All! Yes, transitions are hard! And hard work. There is the tendency to "look back" at what we left, the comparison to what we had, the expectations of what lies ahead, & the general bumbling of not knowing where the toilet paper & light bulbs are kept or who to call when something runs out.

Then again - my job now is working at an antique mall & I love it! It exhausts me - I find the night after I worked all day, I require a full extra hour of sleep. And a day will be added in May. The Farmers' Market uses the antique mall parking lot and field all summer long. This year they will be taking EBT (food stamps) and that will all be paid for at one station - I'll be doing that. An interesting set-up - and another transition.

It's snowing again. Light and breezy flakes, drifting slowly, and sticking over top of the ice that is on the ground. I'll have to wait a few minutes to see what develops before deciding "should I stay or should I go" about the pool.

Frieda - I have not seen Jackie yet, but I am hoping to see that soon. Mixed reviews.

[gazelle18]

Angelika, I had no idea you worked at an antique mall!! How did I miss that?

I don't know why people criticize what others do for a living. If someone is paying a person to do a job, then clearly it has value. People look at DH and me, a doctor and a lawyer, and comment how "nice" that must be, monetarily. But actually, he and I were both in the lowest paid specialties (pediatrics, divorce law) , and so we would sometimes wistfully look (immaturely) to surgeons and corporate lawyers and imagine how much $ they must make. The lesson is: there is always going to someone with bigger, or newer, "toys." As long as a person likes what she does, or it serves her needs and purposes, what difference does it make?


Peachy, I can see why you make a great EA. You are supportive, and seem to be a good team player. But more importantly, you are insightful, and yet able to impart that insight in a non-judgmental and thoughtful manner. You are quite mature and analytical. These are attributes which any boss would want, whether in an EA or in many other capacities.

I MAY NOT POST TOMORROW, AS I WILL BE CELEBRATING MARDI GRAS. LAISSEZ LE BON TEMPS ROULEZ!

[hollygail]

I know what you're saying, Peachy. I "fell into" jobs that became careers too. I never paid attention to what other people thought of me or said about me, and to be honest, I don't remember that anyone said to my face that I wasn't living up to my potential or using my degree or things like that, so it's possible no one did, and it's just as possible I didn't pay attention if and when someone did. I always spoke of my jobs in the highest terms, making sure listeners understood how important what I did was.

[lee058]

Hi everybody. Hope you are all well. I like reading what everyone has to say on this week's topic, as I feel that I am transitioning right now into the job of taking better care of myself. I have a long way to go, but I am already doing some things that will help me in the long run. I've mentioned how over the past few months, I have been seeing more doctors and other healthcare people, and actually listening to them better plus actually doing most of what has been recommended to me. This is extremely important, considering the various health problems that I have that I have been hoping would disappear without my having to do much about them. Now, I am working at helping myself feel better. The physical therapy is really opening my eyes as to what I can and can't do at present.

Another thing that is always on my mind is that this year, I will be the age that my sister was when she died from colon cancer. I do not want that to happen to me, and I do not want my current health problems to get worse.

I'll try and write more later about my various paid and unpaid jobs. Have a peaceful day, Lee

[happysavta]

Well, the scale says I've lost 2 lbs since Feb. 20. That's a total loss of 3 lbs for me. I'm still in the 200s, but it's a start. I hope its not just the Aggravation Diet with DS#4.

[peachymom1]

I just got home from work, and the guys have been here to take another look at the heater and stove. There's a blockage of some sort -- DH joked that maybe a bird had built a nest in the vent, but the gas company guy said that happens a lot more often than you might think. That's why it's so important to have smoke alarms, especially in apartment buildings, where you have a lot of people living in close quarters.

My boss doesn't want any fanfare for her departure, so I'm planning to just have cake for her next Monday afternoon. I started tearing up as I was sending out the calendar invitation -- I have worked with this lady for 13 years, and I'm going to miss her! We also had our weekly one-on-one meeting today, so we went through the process of changing my supervisor from her to her senior-most director. Another sniff!

Thanks for listening to me!