Jewish Musings, Sunday 3/19

[lee058]

What’s on your mind — how to make kugel? This week’s Torah reading? Life goals? Prayer? We are all engaged in weight loss/weight maintenance journeys and we are all Jewish or at least interested in Judaism. We like to eat, we like to discuss. It is our goal here to provide each other support on our journeys, to share experiences, to call on our rich cultural heritage and texts, and to help each other grow spiritually.

Some of us take weekly turns starting the thread:

Angelika
Holly
Lee
Louise
Lynne
Peachy

And for those of you who stop by to read this thread without posting — you are certainly welcome to, but you are also welcome to chime in!

[lee058]

Good morning everybody. I can't believe it is my turn to start us off again. The past few weeks have flown by, since I have been so preoccupied with my medical situation. Tomorrow, I am going to see the orthopedic specialist again about my shoulder. I hope that he will have some good ideas for what to do next, since physical therapy didn't help. On Friday, I have an appointment for an MRI, and that will give him more information.

So that leads to today's topic: How can we handle pain and/or problems? What do we do that is helpful, and what do we do that is not? Are there changes we can make?

For me, my main problem right now is my shoulder. There are other things in my life that are difficult, of course, but they have just about all fallen back in prominence since I have been dealing with this current situation. I think that I am --- now --- finally dealing with it as best I can. For awhile, I kept saying, oh, the pain will go away, it's not a big deal, it's just a sprain, etc. However, once the pain got so bad that I couldn't ignore it, I started taking better care of myself. I saw my primary doctor, I saw the orthopedic specialist, and I faithfully did my physical therapy. Last Wednesday, the pain was worse and I went to see my primary doctor again, who insisted that I stop the PT immediately and go see the orthopedist ASAP, and schedule an MRI. I am doing all these, so I am being more responsible and acting on my situation.

At the same time, I have been doing some things that are not helpful. I have been eating my way through the pain, primarily with carbs and sweets. I know that this is not the best solution, but it is difficult to resist.

I also have not been behaving as well as I normally do. I can make excuses for myself, that constant pain and lack of sleep can make anyone irritable, but the fact remains that I have become snappish, more apt to point out other people's perceived shortcomings, and generally cranky. This is not good for anyone. I have not been feeling good about myself because of it, as well as knowing that I have been hurting people's feelings. I don't want to act like this, but like the food, it is difficult to resist.

Are there changes I can make? Yes, there are. I can remind myself that my family doesn't mean to aggravate me. I can try to be more polite and not bite their heads off every time they annoy me.

As for the carbs and sweets, I can try to be more aware of what I am doing. If I strongly feel that something will help me feel better, I give myself permission to have some but I also need to not carry this to excess. I do not need to finish a whole carton of ice cream or an entire package of pastries. I can have a portion and then stop. I have been falling back into some bad habits, and I need to stop them. I may have to struggle to be more mindful of my eating, but I have to do it, for my own good.

I know that many of us in this thread have dealt with or are dealing with health problems, and I would be very interested in your sharing whatever you feel comfortable with.

I'll check back later. Have a peaceful day, Lee

[louise]

Hi Lee, you have taken some big steps to aid yourself. I have also had some pain and it seems at my age it never quite heals - the meniscus I tore a year ago is tolerable, but still problematic. The tear at the top of my bicep a number of months ago impacted my shoulder and I went to PT for 4 weeks. It got much better but I wake up in pain in the morning and it can happen at any point during the day. I don't mean this to sound dramatic, just how it is and it's all tolerable - although I am a sight going up and down stairs. I know I can't use this as an excuse not to move - exercise increases my range of motion, strengthens the surrounding muscles, and I think is critical for me to keep up. At one point I discovered that eating a lot of sugar seems to cause inflammation of arthritis, so I do better without it - I'm pretty erratic on that one, but much improved. The biggie for me is still to conquer my weight. I am very sure that pain in my knees, and ankles would be less if these joints were stressed less.

Going to a speaker brunch today at our synagogue with the provocative title of Aphrodite and the Rabbis. In the afternoon/early evening I have a 4-hour strategic planning meeting, also at the synagogue. That's a lot of hours there today and with the snow we still have on the ground I will probably stay there in between these events rather than try to get back and forth. I will do my best with the food that is offered; I'm sure there will be some healthy choices. Most important for me is to steer away from the sweets.

[gazelle18]

Lee, I feel your pain. LIterally. I also have shoulder issues. This past year I was diagnosed with something called "frozen shoulder," which improved somewhat with PT, meds and a cortisone injection. It's a bit better,but far from normal. It is humbling to realize that pain now comes and does not necessarily go away 100 percent. My shoulder pain is exacerbated by arthritis, and I also have arthritis in my hands. OY!!

It's amazing how food can distract someone from emotional pain and also physical pain. And of course when I overeat to distract myself from physical pain, it not only does not relieve my physical pain. It also makes me feel worse emotionally. I try to remember that when I am in charge of one aspect of my life (eating), it makes the things that are not controllable (pain) a little more tolerable.

[momof2]

Boker Tov!
I deal with pain, all the time. In my tibia, hip, ribs. One of the symptoms of the syndrome I have is Fibrous Dysplasia, soft tissue in the bone. My bones could break very easily. I get stress fractures all the time and there is nothing I can do about it. Pain meds may or may not help. I was given a pain patch, while pregnant, that worked! Also aqua therapy helps.
Fibrous Dysplasia is one of the reasons why I am careful about my weight. Of course the more I weigh, more chance of a stress fracture.
When I am in pain, I do notice I am more short with the children, and I try not to be. It's also hard not being on the floor, having kids climb over you.
I also have a rib belt, for extra support and a pair of shoes for inside only.
Thank you all for the birthday wishes. It was a fun day. Although Friday was crazy. DH came down with something. DD has a little ear infection and some"whistling" on the bronchial area. So antibiotic, humidifier, Vicks rub, saline drops, lots of liquid (hopefully that will work so don't use the inhaler)
Children are talking, guess I better get them.

[hollygail]

There's a set of muscles that go in a horizontal direction across the buttocks (sort of crossing over the gluteus muscles which apparently go in a vertical direction). Starting a few years ago, the one that goes cross-wise (I don't know how to spell it; try periformis) on my right side started hurting (I had no idea about this; I felt the pain, told my chiropractor about it, he worked on it and told me its name). And starting a couple of weeks ago, the one on left hurts too. [okay, all you smart alecks, let's hear it: I'm a real pain in the a$$, right?] So I go to the chiropractor weekly, and am now doing two exercises he gave me. Sitting for hours (whether in front of the computer or TV) is bad for me. I've known this for a long time, and have said more times than I can count, that I can set an alarm on my phone and physically get up and walk around or something every hour. Have I set the alarm? Even once? No. (However, I am doing the exercises every day. He said I should see one result in about a week, but that week passed and I didn't; his immediate response was to ask whether I'm still sitting in front of the computer for long periods, so it's hard to say whether the exercises aren't doing anything or whether the lack of improvement is due to my not getting up more frequently.)

Now do you want to hear a REALLY bad one? My taste buds are not working the way they used to. I drink herbal tea every day (I make 64 ounces every morning, pour into travel mugs, and take them with me wherever I go). I recognized a few weeks ago that the lemon one no longer tasted "great" to me. So I switched to the raspberry one, which sometimes (in the past) was stronger than I liked. Guess what? I can barely taste the raspberry flavor...

It's time to go to a medical doctor, isn't it... I don't even have one... I haven't gone for an "annual" for well over 5 years (it was never my habit to go for an annual check up; I saw a doctor only when I was ill).

So I have zero (of a helpful nature) to add to a discussion about what to do to deal with health problems...

[savtele]

Boker Tov All! Yep - most of us, I think, have reached that age where our bodies no longer forgive anything we have done to them in the past! (Tamara, I'm sorry, you apparently were born with an "unforgiving" body!)

I am learning that, IBS aside, my joints/muscles really like me better when I steer clear of wheat. Sugars are a culprit too, but wheat is a killer! My bones/joints/muscles on the L side that were all damaged in my accident years ago - they are much less inflamed when I take this into consideration. Meanwhile, my R leg, which I limp onto, & my R shoulder, which bears the brunt of the cane/wt, let me know that they also are not happy. Everything works better with gentle, regular exercise. And if I am going to add MORE exercise (like an extra day of working, during the week) I had better stand up & walk around every hour or so in the evening, or there will be horrendous cramping in some of the large leg muscles, around scaring sites. Keep ahead of the pain with meds is a good motto also!

I too, like Holly, am learning that my taste buds are not as acute as they once were. (eyesight, hearing, now taste - everything is slowly dulling a bit) So - dark, high cocoa content chocolate, herbs, spices, French roast coffee - all are my friends. Of course, the eyesight is a problem of cataracts, which will be cared for soon. The hearing is often due to debris build-up, which needs to be cleaned out. Who knows why the dulling taste - could be thyroid or some other imbalance - annual check-ups with labs are a good idea.

Penelope - 'Nelpe, my youngest great grand - is 2 today, I'll be heading to the party in a little while. I bought her the cutest little pink chair at the antique mall. (I love the convenience of shopping while I'm working there AND having a discount!)

Have a good day ladies!

[lee058]

Hello again everybody. What an amazing bunch of women you are. You are all so strong, creative and thoughtful. I didn't know that apparently ALL of us have health problems; you are all so very positive about life. If you can have such good attitudes towards dealing with difficulties, you inspire me to try harder to deal better with mine. Thank you for being my friends.

I'll be back later. Have a peaceful rest of the day, Lee

[happysavta]

Arthritis - it hurts. I have arthritis in my fingers, knees, ankles. I didn't know that wheat or sugar can aggravate it. My right thumb is giving me problems right now. It aches all the time and with certain grasping movements, it's acute. Hard to chop food, for example, which irritates me because I like to cook.

I sympathize with Lee about being snappy or irritable when I'm in pain. Me too. And I'm mean and snarky when I'm irritated, tired or hungry. As someone said, "I have a way with words." Only it's not a very nice way to use words. I don't think that it is possible to avoid the reaction to pain. Perhaps the goal is just to shorten or work down the reaction. I try to remember that this is all about fear and anger. Fear of serious disease, anger at your body for aging.

What can you do about the fear and anger, the snappiness and irritability? On Saturday morning, I went to the library for a Guided Meditation hour. We sat in a completely dark room, and listened to the instructor read the guided meditation. It had calming breaths, imagery, we went from top of our head to bottoms of our feet in segments, we listened to affirmations, and stretched. It was very calming. They have this class every week. You can get relaxation/meditation tapes to check out from the library too. There are also some wonderful DVD tapes of scenes of nature set to music. If you are a visual person, like to look at something, these are marvelous.

Sometimes distraction helps if the pain isn't acute. Getting busy is a great way to feel better, I find. If I can't cook, I can maybe go through the mail that's piled up. Look for the little things.

[happysavta]

I happen to be in a very good place right now, losing weight and even starting to walk a few minutes a day consistently, so I want to share that and encourage you to join me in another WLJ. If you'd like to get on board, I'll stop at your station. My head is much clearer and I am calmer. As you know, I'm going to the weekly Prevent T2 program at the YMCA, I'm seeing a therapist, and I'm in the process of trying out activities in hopes of being able to say, "I like to do T'ai Chi" (for example), instead of "I like to sleep" or "I like to eat."

I am leaving for Houston on Tuesday to be with DD and the lovely grandgirls for 10 days. DSiL will be in 3 cities on his book tour and DD needs some back up for carpools and making sure the girls get dinner and clothes get to the laundry etc., etc.

DH returns from China on Wednesday, so we won't see each other for another 10 days. He was surprised and a little upset to hear that I won't be in San Diego when he returns. That's good. Let him miss me. (To quote Michael Jackson "I'm bad, I'm bad, You know it, I'm bad.)

DS#4 has been staying over at my house for a couple of days. That is good because I force him to get out of bed in the morning, don't let him sleep till noon, and I set the meal portions and menu. He got on the scale and he has gained 12 lbs. He is the heaviest he has ever been, getting close to 300 lbs. He huffs and gasps for breath, even when he is standing up. When he is laying down, he has to use the CPAP and it's not enough. He's hypertensive and border line diabetic. He is an impulse eater and doesn't control portions. He will buy 2-3 whole pizzas for himself. I'm sorry I have to leave for 10 days because he will go right back to overeating, to pizza and fast food, and we'll have to start over again when I return, if he's able to find the motivation. His therapist also is working on getting him to write a food diary and they walk during their sessions.

Last night DS#2 and DDiL and their two little ones stopped over unexpectedly just to visit, which made me really happy. Those kids are so cute. DGD (age 3) likes to play Saba's keyboard and knows how to turn it on, turn up the volume and change the buttons to give different musical effects. Her little brother (age 1 1/2) is the cutest, sweetest little fellow. He can already say "Savta" and he likes to play catch with balls.

The parents are taking them to Little Menchies today, which is a monthly program of the JCC to introduce young children to doing mitzvot. Today, they are going to box up food donations for the Food Bank. The parents also took the kids to the Purim carnival last week. I am thrilled every time they participate in something that is Jewish. Of course I'm fully aware that they go on Easter egg hunts and participate in the Christmas Toys for Tots Drive too, but still, I shep both nachas and hope.

[happysavta]

Oh, I forgot to tell you, I got a letter from the medical group my Primary Care doctor is in saying that they have registered with Medicare as an "Accountable Care Organization". The letter states that Medicare wants to pay me $25 as a "Coordinated Care Reward" if I'll go to my doctor for an "Annual Wellness Visit".

"An Annual Wellness Visit is not a routine physical; it i a distinct visit that offers a chance for you to discuss your health, medications, and team of doctors with your primary care to ensure your care is fully coordinated - which helps you avoid wasted time and costs resulting from repeated tests and unnecessary appointments. Such visits have been shown to improve health care for beneficiaries, which is why you will be rewarded for receiving an Annual Wellness Visit."

Sounds good to me.

[happysavta]

Oh, I forgot to tell you. My mammogram was negative. They didn't even call me back for an ultrasound and a biopsy this time. I insisted that my previous mammograms be pulled for comparison, so maybe that helped. If they actually pulled them.

[peachymom1]

Hi everyone, wow, I am glad I'm not the only one with pain issues. I was diagnosed with carpal tunnel syndrome many years ago, mainly from years of typing without the proper support, posture, etc. The PCP who diagnosed me gave me naproxen, a wrist brace and told me to ice my wrist with a bag of frozen peas and wear the brace as much as I could. This helped somewhat. When I got the job I have now, we have mandatory ergonomic training that we have to renew every year, and they're very big on getting you whatever equipment you need. I have my chair at just the right height, my monitor is positioned perfectly, I use an ergonomic keyboard, and I get up every time I need to print something, get something, etc., instead of letting it pile up and then doing it all in one shlep.

When my PCP left the medical group and I got a new one, the first thing he did was send me for physical therapy and evaluation by an orthopedist. The PT was very helpful, the ortho said to keep doing what I was doing, and I've been able to keep typing both at work and at home with no problems. I can't play the piano for very long at a time though, but I can live with that. And a few years ago, it flared up and I had to go back for more PT, but it's manageable most of the time and I'm hardly ever hampered by it.

My left shoulder has been bothering me on and off, and I need to back on the wagon of doing my daily exercises with it, because it does help enormously. I do get crabby when it hurts, and I don't want to be taking pain meds all the time, but I know that sweets and empty carbs will not help my shoulder feel any better, and it only makes my psyche feel worse. So I try to distract myself with a book or some music or something.

All weekend I've had a nasty cold, and I'm about to go lie down again and rest. But DD28 is out shopping for her wedding dress and keeps sending me pictures, so I'll probably relax in my rocking chair instead, so I'll hear my phone when she texts. She looks so beautiful...how on earth she's going to choose, I have no idea!

[lee058]

Just looking in to say hi. I am feeling very tired despite having had an afternoon nap, so I will be going to bed early. Hope you all have a pleasant rest of the evening, and I'll see you in the morning. Have a peaceful night, Lee

[brgmsn]

I too deal with chronic pain. Nurses used to lift heavy patients all by ourselves, and that's taken a toll on my back. I have trocantoritis in both thighs, and assorted areas of arthritis--neck, back, I believe hips and ankles too. OY! I find some days are better than others. I can hurt whether I exercise or not, so I do. Bending over in the morning is a challenge. I'm very tight. I do realize things like yoga and stretching would help.
Frieda, I think our grandkids are the same age. JoJo calls me Shasha because she couldn't say Savta as a baby, and now Ari calls me Shashe. I'll take it! I love that your insurance is paying for you to discuss your health.
Lee, take care of yourself.
Food used to be my comfort, but now I find it adds more stress, so there's no point to that. Enough without it.