Jewish Musings, Monday 3/20

[lee058]

What’s on your mind — how to make kugel? This week’s Torah reading? Life goals? Prayer? We are all engaged in weight loss/weight maintenance journeys and we are all Jewish or at least interested in Judaism. We like to eat, we like to discuss. It is our goal here to provide each other support on our journeys, to share experiences, to call on our rich cultural heritage and texts, and to help each other grow spiritually.

Some of us take weekly turns starting the thread:

Angelika
Holly
Lee
Louise
Lynne
Peachy

And for those of you who stop by to read this thread without posting — you are certainly welcome to, but you are also welcome to chime in!

[lee058]

Good morning everybody. I have my appointment with the orthopedic doctor this morning, and I need to make some phone calls before I leave, so this will have to be brief.

For today's topic: What sort of support system do you have? What do you ask them to do? Do they volunteer to do things?

For me, my support system is my family, my doctors, my friends (especially my online friends), and my therapist. I ask them to listen to me, and to encourage me that I will be able to get through my present situation. H does a lot of the cooking, and DS carries things for me, makes me breakfast, and does a lot of chores without grumbling too much.

I will write more later. Right now I have to call the pest control people as there are ants in the house, ugh ugh ugh. Also, I need to call the radiology people about how the info is going to get to my doctor. Then it will probably be time for me to leave.

Have a peaceful day, Lee

[savtele]

Boker Tov All! My support system - family, friends (RL & cyber) my doctors & associated medical folks, my H2Oaerobics instructors & family & the group of friends with whom I meet at the pool & the gym. We laugh when we meet at the grocery store - about not recognizing one another "with our clothes on." Zumba instructor (and the whole class) are always very encouraging to me to "just do what you can."

John shlepps the groceries into the house, and any other heavy lifting that needs to be done. In summer there are lots of BBQs here, also Sukkot is always a big time at our house (last fall I had the H2Oaerobics group out after class for brunch & mimosas) - John has no problem setting up chairs, carrying food, moving things around. He tells me "you plan it, I'll find a way to do it!"

I have no problem delegating tasks. I also have no problem just letting someone else do. However it works out, it's fine by me! Monika, my DD, has already told me that when I have my cataract surgery, she wants to take a couple of days off work to come out & cook for me & spoil me a bit.

I need to get ready to head to the pool.

Have a good day ladies!

[louise]

I am blessed to have this online group, several close friends, my rabbi, my therapist, my synagogue community, my mom, and sometimes other family members to call on for support. When I have been injured my friends have offered to shop for me and when I needed rides to the doctor my synagogue community took care of it. When I don't know how to do something many of these resources come into play. What I don't utilize enough are the offers a couple of friends to help me tidy up the apartment - either I don't want to be indebted or I am invested in the clutter - probably a little of each but more of the latter. friends that owns an apartment building is going to hook me up with a handyman to take care of some problems I have in my apartment - very happy to accept that help. So level of being helped has to do with being able to ask for it and being able to accept it. And of course, basic to all, is understanding what help you need and even that you need help at all!

[gazelle18]

I feel fortunate that, so far, the only PHYSOCAL support I have needed has been my immediate family, and I will say they are champs, especially DH. If needed, I have close friends I believe I could count on. For emotional support, I have DH and some great friends, including you guys. I no longer am in therapy, but could always go back to my very supportive therapist.

[hollygail]

Like many of you, I have cyber friends (mostly the people who post on this thread) and real life friends, DH, the people in the various synagogues I volunteer at, and other family members I can count on for different kinds of help I may need. DH does much of the shopping and cooking, my sister always listens although offers advice ONLY when I ask for some, you ladies have been there for me for quite a few years now (how long HAS it been? Does anyone remember? Suzanne originally gathered us), and I'm in a Women's Chavurah in my primary shul (now that's a very long time: we've been meeting for more than 20 years, and although we rarely meet nowadays, we still have a close relationship), not to mention some women in two Rosh Chodesh groups I attend at two different Conservative shuls (one of which I attend weekday mornings, the other at which I teach). Asking for help is one thing; being willing to accept help (when I haven't asked for it but recognize that I could definitely use it) is something else, as has been mentioned by at least one other person in a post above mine...

[lee058]

Hi again. I saw the orthopedic doctor. He said that once he sees the results of the MRI this Friday (the center said that they would send them the same day they are taken), he will have a better idea of what to do next. I have a follow-up appointment next Monday to go over the results, and he said that he would probably want to give me a shot in the shoulder to ease the pain. I asked if I'd be able to drive afterwards, and he said yes.

So things are progressing!

I'll check back here later. Have a peaceful afternoon, Lee

[happysavta]

Just a quick hello. I've got a lot to do to get ready for my trip tomorrow. Have a great day everyone.

All good things,

Frieda

[momof2]

Boker Tov!
Yes, cyber friends are a great support. I have few friends, but good ones. Family is a great support. MIL listens and offers great advice. DH tells me not to do something, when he knows it may hurt me later. Thankful for the support from everyone I get.
Even the babysitter, giving DH and I a night without kids. Date night planned for next Thursday (it's been over a month!)
Sorry for the day late response.
Tamara

[hollygail]

I don’t deal well with pain. Mostly I ignore it. That, needless to say, doesn’t work. Remember when you were a very young child and if you didn’t see something it didn’t exist? (Like covering your eyes means what you don’t see isn’t there) That’s sort of my coping mechanism. It’s dumb. But yes, I am beginning to resent certain things, not only those that have to do with pain. I’m irritated that my sense of taste has degraded. It has nothing to do with fate or God. I don’t want the “aging” thing to rule my universe, know what I mean?

I “get” that we Jews have had a very long and some might even say intimate relationship with pain and suffering, but I don’t think my physical pain has anything to do with the historical suffering of my people.