Jewish Musings, Tuesday 3/21

[lee058]

What’s on your mind — how to make kugel? This week’s Torah reading? Life goals? Prayer? We are all engaged in weight loss/weight maintenance journeys and we are all Jewish or at least interested in Judaism. We like to eat, we like to discuss. It is our goal here to provide each other support on our journeys, to share experiences, to call on our rich cultural heritage and texts, and to help each other grow spiritually.

Some of us take weekly turns starting the thread:

Angelika
Holly
Lee
Louise
Lynne
Peachy

And for those of you who stop by to read this thread without posting — you are certainly welcome to, but you are also welcome to chime in!

[lee058]

Good morning everybody. Today, hopefully DS will find out if he is going to be made permanent at his job instead of temporary. If he is, I am going to take him out to lunch to celebrate. The pest control guy is coming over at 3PM to spray for the ants (yuck), so DS and I will have plenty of time to go out and have fun. DS is also going to get a new work schedule starting next week. I hope that the new hours will be easy for us.

Re today's topic: I have been thinking about what we have been talking about, and I would like for us to try something a little different. Instead of my listing a new topic every morning, I am going to write up several related ideas today which can build on each other, and then we can talk about any or all of them for the rest of the week. I hope that will lead to a combination of continuity and whatever gets built on this foundation. I hope this is okay with everyone.

Related ideas for this week: How do you feel about having to deal with pain? Are you resentful? Sad? Accepting of it as something that happens naturally as you age? Are you angry at your body, fate, or God? Does this affect your personality, your faith, your self-esteem or your awareness?

As Jews, what is our relationship with pain and suffering? Do you feel that we experience them differently because of our history? What does your individual pain and suffering have to do with your identity of being Jewish?

(Plus whatever else we think up while discussing these aspects of the topic.)


For me, these questions have been simmering in my mind and heart for a long time. I have come up with various explanations that have satisfied me for awhile, but have grown out of many ideas over the years. As a Jew and a (reasonably) aware person, I question a lot of things, for example: Why is there pain and suffering at all? Wouldn't it have been nicer for God to just let us be happy? Why do bad things happen to good people? Why do good things happen to bad people? Why don't more things about life make sense?

There are a great many things that I don't understand about God, people, and the universe, but I have been trying all my life to find answers to my questions. I may seem like a complacent person, but in my mind and heart, I want to know more. These things matter to me.

I feel that we can find teachers everywhere, sometimes with the most unexpected situations and people. I also love our discussions here; I have gotten a great deal out of them over the years, and more so, since we moved to the new website. My son has been an extraordinary teacher for me; his Asperger's has led me down paths that I didn't even know existed. My family has been a catalyst for me in many, many ways; painful as well as kind. I've even come up with a few ideas on my own (j/k)!

Anyhow, that's a start to what I want to say, and I sincerely hope that everyone will share their thoughts and feelings to the extent that you are comfortable. I am really looking forward to the rest of this week being a growth experience for all of us.

Have a peaceful day, Lee

[gazelle18]

When I get out of bed in the morning and notice that lots of joints ache, and I am walking in a bent-over posture, I absolutely feel sad and resentful. I do not like being reminded that I am aging.i don't like that there is no "cure" for arthritis. I am wistful for my younger years, when I could pretty much do any physical thing I put my mind to doing. Nowadays, I have to be careful when I lift something heavy because of the arthritis in my thumbs. I grimace when I lift a grandchild. I am not going to pretend to like this!

I have the kind of pain that tends to lessen as I move around, or stop doing the activity which causes pain, so the feelings of sadness don't generally stay with me.

I am interested in what others have to say about this

[savtele]

Boker Tov All! Thoughtful questions, Lee.

I have noticed over the years that people who are angry at the hand life dealt them are generally not good to be around! In our family, we tend to be matter-of-fact about it. Mom & dad survived the war. Whatever we've survived is small potatoes.

I am extremely grateful for my life! The night of my accident, I had wanted to start walking to the next bus stop - which was in a park. So - no houses. Had I done that, no one would have seen me hit & I would probably have died. But, G-d or good sense "checked" me - I stayed where I was, the area where I stood was well lit (the park was not) and my neighbor had just stuck his head out the door to holler at me that he would take me to work & saw the whole thing! It was icy, there was more ice coming down, the neighbors all gathered round me & talked to me/prayed for me while we waited for the police & ambulance.

As Jews, our history, our tradition, and our inclination lead us to asking questions. The answers lead us on to new questions, in an eternal spiral - nothing runs in a straight line, with a starting & finishing point. And all the spirals, of themselves, have new spirals corkscrewing off them. Some of the spirals are big and loopy - like the life-force of our tribe. Other spirals are small and tight - like my personal way of explaining/managing my pain. All are interconnected - and all lead on to more questions and more answers - or not. An enormous "Tree of life" - a corkscrew willow.

I love the ancient stories - you know, where the school is arguing a point and then "a voice came from heaven saying Such-&-so is correct!" I don't believe for a minute that there was a mass hallucination & everyone heard it. (Although, who knows what was in their tea!) But a consensus was reached. And the results gave everyone the freedom to jump off that point - into new areas of questions!

I'm getting ready to go to the gym this grey, rainy, cold AM.

Have a good day ladies!

[louise]

I feel like Lynne about a lot of it - I don't feel like an old lady until I have to walk up or down stairs and then I know not only how I feel bow how I am being seen too. I want to be able to just do it - well guess what? Not happening! And maybe people don't even see what I think they do (not that that should matter, but it does) - when I do the torah service now I hold the torah in one arm and hold the railing with the other to go down the steps from the bima - my emphasis should be on the fact I found a way to do it, not that I now have to hold on (and so can't hold a siddur).It's making me a little crazy that I find it hard to find a comfortable way to hold my arm when I crochet - not exactly what we think of as a physical activity - but a problem all the same! Also, I could knock off the weight more easily before. This is how it is though and I can't really complain about what I have - it's still small potatoes as far as things go. The fact that I exacerbate the situation with my own behavior is a whole nother thing though.

[lee058]

Hi again everybody. I think we are making a great start to our discussion! Thanks everyone for sharing; these are not easy topics.

I have good news: DS was made permanent at his job today after his six-month probation! Woo hoo! I took him out for lunch to celebrate, and we had a wonderful meal at one of our favorite restaurants where they know us. DS was congratulated by several people after we told them about it. His dad, his grandma (my mom), and I are all very happy.

Also, the pest control guy came over this afternoon and did a really good job. Besides spraying, he even found the spot where the ants were entering the house and treated it. I called the company and told them what a good job he had done, and they were happy to hear it. I strongly believe in doing things like that.

I'll check back later. Have a peaceful rest of the day, Lee

[hollygail]

Very busy day for me. Went to see the guys at the Geek Squad after minyan; it took the man I saw almost a half hour to figure out how to get my tracker/watch/thingy to synch and to work properly. It took me too much frustration which is why I went there in the first place... From there, came to my shul (where I volunteer on Tuesdays) and worked with my adult student earlier than usual and then we chatted for another hour... Am still at the shul office, taking a break, and will teach in a little more than an hour from now. No time to consider the topic, but will think about it as I continue through my day. I won't be back on the computer until after dinner tonight...

[happysavta]

Chaverot,

Just a quick hello from Houston. Great questions, Lee.

All good things,

Frieda

[hollygail]

I posted this reply on the Monday thread in error. Here it is where it belongs.

I don’t deal well with pain. Mostly I ignore it. That, needless to say, doesn’t work. Remember when you were a very young child and if you didn’t see something it didn’t exist? (Like covering your eyes means what you don’t see isn’t there) That’s sort of my coping mechanism. It’s dumb. But yes, I am beginning to resent certain things, not only those that have to do with pain. I’m irritated that my sense of taste has degraded. It has nothing to do with fate or God. I don’t want the “aging” thing to rule my universe, know what I mean?

I “get” that we Jews have had a very long and some might even say intimate relationship with pain and suffering, but I don’t think my physical pain has anything to do with the historical suffering of my people.