Jewish Musings, Sunday March 26

[louise]

What’s on your mind — how to make kugel? This week’s Torah reading? Life goals? Prayer? We are all engaged in weight loss/weight maintenance journeys and we are all Jewish or at least interested in Judaism. We like to eat, we like to discuss. It is our goal here to provide each other support on our journeys, to share experiences, to call on our rich cultural heritage and texts, and to help each other grow spiritually.

Some of us take weekly turns starting the thread:

Angelika
Holly
Lee
Louise
Lynne
Peachy

And for those of you who stop by to read this thread without posting — you are certainly welcome to, but you are also welcome to chime in!

[louise]

Don’t really know what to bring you this week, but we stick with what we know, so for now I will talk about where I am. What amazes me the most is how fast things can change. I was doing pretty well following my food plan but a little at a time I allowed exceptions and wound up with a full-blown binge – about 2 days’ worth. It’s such a fine line. I absolutely know that I’m crossing it but the food calls louder. But is it really even the food? Maybe the old food as drug? Things are so peculiar at work. No one is sure what the other one knows about our future, but we can all see that it is rocky. I seem to be the only one that got the “your 6 months starts now” talk – this is not a bad thing, some haven’t been told anything at all, but it speaks to the uncertainty and the unusual working environment. That was Feb 3. I know what we all know – this is an opportunity to take stock, reinvent, reframe, whatever – but not a time to fall into a vat of chocolate. I don’t want to sit here and scold myself – no point in that. I want to inspire myself. I am reminded of a piece by Merle Feld we talked about last time I was up and we went over personal prayers before the ark. Sorry to be repetitive, but here’s the end of that one again:

So too I, in this place, in this time, look to You. Help me to remember my strength and courage, help me to see clearly, to listen deeply, to act wisely. Help me to be my best self in this new place and time. Every journey leads into the unknown. May the unknown ahead of me offer blessing.

[hollygail]

Once upon a time, I had a premonition that I was going to be "let go." I had this feeling about 6 months or so before it came to pass. What did I do during that time? Did I take stock, reinvent, reframe? No. I did ask one other employee (who I thought had the boss's ear and confidence) but he said he didn't know, hadn't heard anything about it (and I never knew whether to believe him or not). So when it came, it wasn't a surprise, but still, I wasn't quite prepared for it. It was the best full time permanent job I'd ever had in my life. I truly loved it. I was so dedicated and so loyal. There had been a fire in the area and every morning I drove the 25 or 35 miles to the office to check the atmosphere (literally, how smoky it was) and called the boss (I was always the first one at the office) to report on air quality, and then start calling the other employees to tell them to stay home, that we weren't opening the office again that day (it lasted the better part of a week). Loyal and dedicated. And how was I repaid? Two weeks severance (plus whatever accrued vacation I had coming). I wasn't really angry. But with the premonition around six months earlier, why did I not prepare something? Anything?

Okay. Water under the bridge. Louise, you'll come out of this mess whole. You'll be fine. You will remember your strength and courage, you'll see clearly, listen deeply and act wisely. You will be your best self in the new place and time. Every journey leads into the unknown; may your unknown offer you a blessing.

[lee058]

Good morning everybody. Hope you are all well. Today I am going to alternate doing laundry and relaxing, and tomorrow I am going to see the orthopedic doctor. DS has off work today and tomorrow, which is convenient. It's very cloudy out and is supposed to rain, so it is a good day to be indoors.

Re today's topic: Right now, I am trying to avoid any guessing about the future for my arm and shoulder. I do not feel any particular premonitions as to what may come to pass; I don't want to focus on any specific outcome other than hoping for the best. In the meantime, I am doing my best to take care of myself, physically and emotionally.

I'll be back later. Have a peaceful day, Lee

[savtele]

Happy Sunday. Today is grey & rainy - and I'm doing laundry. Tomorrow I have my pre-op physical for cataract surgery. I'm a happy camper! Like Lee - I'm hoping for the best!

I had also had a premonition -about 1 year before I was let go. Just a feeling - and yet, when it happened, it hit me like a ton of bricks. I don't know how that works - if you "sort of" think "maybe" or "could be" - why did I stand there & let the world fall down on me?? Nobody knows.

I'll probably have more to say tomorrow. I certainly will know more than I do now!

Have a good day all!

[happysavta]

Hi, chaverot,

This weekend is passing so quickly. Can I hear some applause, please, throw in a couple of bravos and a bouquet of roses - I went to the pool and walked for 50 minutes. Today, I noticed also that I was able to do the stairs in DD's house in a normal fashion, left foot on one step, right foot on the next step above it. Up to now, I've had to put right foot on one step, bring left foot to same step before I can go up the next one. That means I am more limber, less stiff.

Louise, that is a beautiful prayer because it is optimistic. I'm happy to have every ray of optimism shine my way. Seeking to inspire yourself not to be afraid when the office closes and seeking to inspire yourself not to choose to binge over something that is out of your control is already part of reinventing yourself. You are aware of what scares you and you know you have a choice about how you deal with it. That prayer is about finding reassurance that things are going to be OK.

I happen to be in a good place right now, so I can offer some encouragement. You can do this, Louise!!! Yes, you can!! One strength is that you have 100% control of what food comes into your house and what stays out. Use that strength to your own advantage. Another strength is that you are very analytical. You know that when you have structure, you do better in making healthy choices. Having the meal delivery was helpful. Perhaps you can look for a class or program that gives you a date and time to show up and weigh in.

That's what I am finding with the Prevent T2 class on Wednesday nights. I enjoy the socializing and I do want to do well at the scale. In the past, I would attend Weight Watchers for 3 months or a bit more. This class is for a year. I have said on this thread that I know how to diet, I know how to lose weight, but I run out of steam, and get tired of the deprivation before I get to the real, solid life style changes that have to occur. Like exercise. In this class, we are asked to get to 150 minutes a week of activity consistently. It's the consistency that pushes us over the hurdle of change, I think. So I'll try once again to incorporate movement into my way of life. The game is played like this: Try, Fail. Try, Fail. Try, Succeed. So this little chocolate binge you had is nothing more than just a little stumble on the way to Try, Succeed. You'll get there.

[happysavta]

This morning while DGD was in Sunday school, (She got 100 on her Hebrew words test.), I was listening to a lecture by Cantor David about the history and music of the opera, Nabucco. It was entertaining, fascinating, and energizing. The Cantor sings opera and plays piano (he was a student at Julliard), and he's a history buff and a Jewish scholar. He played parts from the opera, discussed the plot and the structure, was hilariously funny, and was so enthusiastic a teacher that he got us all enthused too. He connected the dots to which parts of the opera were actual Jewish history (it's the story of Nebuchaddnezer and the destruction of the Temple and exile to Babylon) and which were dramatic license. It just so happens that I've seen this opera at one of the Metropolitan Opera's Live Performance Tele-Casts to a movie theater. And it just so happens that when I was about 15 or 16, I was in the Chicago All City Choir and we sang "Va, Pensiero also called Song of the Hebrew Slaves."

If you'd like to enjoy Va Piensero with English subtitles, here it is from YouTube. www.youtube.com/watch?v=fZU6CbbR2yo

[peachymom1]

Hello everyone, and shavua tov! I am much better, though not 100%. That was one heck of a nasty sinus infection. It took two shots of morphine to finally kill the pain in my head, and I'm still recovering from the after-effects. It seems like it's taking a long time to get all the drugs out of my system, but I feel a little more like myself each day.

I did go to work on Friday but had to go home after a few hours. I couldn't concentrate, and I was getting tired. So I've just been resting, drinking gallons of water, and resting some more. I still feel spacey, but my head doesn't hurt and I have no nausea, thank God. Thank you to all who said prayers for me or kept me in their thoughts.

I don't know if we can ever really prepare for things, even when we have notice. I remember when I found out we were having twins. I was 14 weeks pregnant and had gone for my first ultrasound. So we had plenty of time to prepare, and we did, to the degree that we could. But we had no way of knowing what the actuality would be like, how we would feel, what we would face, and how people would help (or fail to help). We had to just meet each day the best we could and deal with things as they came up. In hindsight, I'm amazed at how we got through it all, especially the first year, when so much time is required just for sheer maintenance.

Changing jobs is a change of identity too; maybe that's part of what makes it so scary, aside from financial considerations. My job is currently in jeopardy, and I would be sad to leave these folks that I've worked with for so long. Getting another job means introducing myself to interviewers who don't know my strengths and experience, who don't know me as a person, and who can choose anyone they think is the best fit. It's not their problem that I have financial obligations or that my daughter's getting married and I need a job. So I've just taken a relaxed attitude and figure I'll deal with things as they come up, as well as I can. Worrying or imagining all kinds of consequences will just drive my stress level up, and I certainly don't need that.

So in my fuzziness, Louise, all I can offer you is some hugs and hand pats. Try to just hang in there the best you can, and forgive yourself when you have too much chocolate. Never give up on yourself! (((Louise)))