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Post by louise on Mar 29, 2017 22:42:29 GMT -5
What’s on your mind — how to make kugel? This week’s Torah reading? Life goals? Prayer? We are all engaged in weight loss/weight maintenance journeys and we are all Jewish or at least interested in Judaism. We like to eat, we like to discuss. It is our goal here to provide each other support on our journeys, to share experiences, to call on our rich cultural heritage and texts, and to help each other grow spiritually.
Some of us take weekly turns starting the thread:
Angelika
Holly
Lee
Louise
Lynne
Peachy
And for those of you who stop by to read this thread without posting — you are certainly welcome to, but you are also welcome to chime in
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Post by louise on Mar 29, 2017 22:48:42 GMT -5
I have been thinking about what I have been writing this week and last and also what you all have all been writing this last few weeks. I am so impressed with you all and your abilities to cope with pain and challenges. It’s absolutely awe inspiring. You have such challenges with your children and other family members and have been dealing with so much physical pain. And everyone still comes back the next day and talks about the next thing. We have evoked the image before, I believe, of us holding hands across the country – pretty powerful, even if we can’t all be on hammocks together in Angelika’s back yard.
I used the example of that IKEA catalog earlier this week as a vehicle to talk about the mishegas we can get tripped up in. It can snowball in pretty destructive ways. I’m forever minimizing my accomplishments to myself and also my pain because I think it’s nothing compared to what someone else has accomplished or coped with. What does that get me except a diminished view of myself? What kind of armor is that to go out into the world with? I can pull out a list of things I didn’t get done this week, but guess what – I could look at the other list instead, the things I did get done.
I have not been feeling well this week – this that is referred to as malaise, taking the form of very low energy, headaches, upset stomach and some depression. I have, no surprise, been eating badly also. I just realized that it’s not just the job insecurity, but I am also angry with my boss. When he called me into his office a few months and told me about his business challenges he told me that I would have six months salary after whatever it is that has to happen does happen. I heard this as 6 months severance and I knew (and said) that I would try to do whatever needed to be done in that transition period. But then 2 months ago he told me the 6 months starts NOW. That changes it from severance to notice. It also changes how I feel about it. I know I said most of this as it happened, but I haven’t been doing very much at the office these past weeks – I realize that I am in a sense withholding my service in subtle and maybe not so subtle ways. This is having a very negative effect on me. Put simply, I have gotten tripped up in my own mishegas.
I apologize for whining but I think with this clearer picture of what is happening I will be able to tackle it better. My sense of self needs to come from me, not from what is happening to me.
I'm sure you can find similar moments when you reframed something and that enabled you to proceed in a more constructive way.
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Post by peachymom1 on Mar 30, 2017 0:00:39 GMT -5
First, some hugs and hand pats for you, Louise. I think it's hard to have something like that hanging over your head. And I would be majorly rankled to find out that severance changed to notice. Not to be mean about your boss, but that seems disingenuous to me.
I have been eating poorly last week and this week, for a couple of reasons (excuses). My sense of taste since all that morphine has been altered, I hope only temporarily. Things taste different, and textures seem different too. I keep trying to find something that tastes satisfying and delicious, whether as a healthy choice or an indulgence, and so far nothing has made much of an impression. I keep getting disappointed over and over. I still don't quite feel like myself, though I'm better each day. I'm wiped out at the end of the work day, and sometimes I have to sit down to do a task I've always done standing, like assembling training materials. I don't have enough energy to exercise yet.
I mention this because sometimes we just feel overwhelmed. And sometimes there doesn't seem to be an end in sight. Sometimes we're just in a waiting mode. I have decided that this Friday, which is my weigh-in day, is the day I get back on track, no matter how I feel about food, taste and texture. As soon as I get back to exercising, I'm going to make a new plan and kick up the weight training. DD28's wedding is just over eight months away, and I'd like to look better in a formal dress for all those pictures. :+)
Is it possible / feasible to look for another job, Louise? I mean now, before the six-mmonth term ends? Maybe you'll feel better if you leave on your terms, or maybe it will feel better just to try. What a pain, though, for you to have to go through this. I'm sorry you're dealing with it; it just makes your working life uncomfortable and difficult. Hang in there.
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Post by happysavta on Mar 30, 2017 9:34:31 GMT -5
This morning, I woke up around 7:15 am. I had a thought in my head that I wanted to get up and go take a walk before it got hot (and it is HOT in Houston) and muggy. I have exercised for the last 3 days in a row (Me? Imagine that!), but only at the end of my day, out of pure guilt. So I turned over, flipped on the TV and tried to ignore it. But it wouldn't go away. At 8 am., I turned off the TV and went downstairs. I looked at all the dolls and books on the floor and dishes to be put away and the recycling that needed to be organized for trash day, etc. etc. But I opened the door and it was so cool outside that I just stepped outside to walk. Then I realized I hadn't put my shoes on and went back inside, got my shoes. I'm not really dressed, mind you, just wearing a house dress, and I'm afraid I'll miss the laundryman delivering our baskets of clean clothes. Well, ready or not, here I come.
So, yes, first thing this morning, I walked for 15 minutes. I noticed all the different kinds of leaves on the various trees on DD's street. I remember doing a 4th grade project on types of trees and how to recognize the leaves. I've since forgotten all the names and shapes, but I'll ask Rabbi Google later. You know, my DGD is a 4th grader now. Time flies.
Anyway, I walked first. In the morning. I've done my exercise today. Eek, where is the real Frieda and what have you done with her? Aliens, return her immediately to Planet Earth!!
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Post by savtele on Mar 30, 2017 9:42:38 GMT -5
Boker Tov All! Today mom has an appointment - I'll be taking her. The main highway between here and town is closed - a landslide is slowly working the road apart about 1/2-way to town. Alternate routes are being explored.
Transitions are always hardest for me. Right now we are in our most difficult transition of the year - getting ready for Pesach! The weather is in full-on winter/spring transition, with blustery storms one day, bright sunshine the next. Louise, it's no wonder your personal transition from employed to unemployed is so very difficult right now!
Lee - enjoy some wonderful "me" time! A bubble-bath, mani-pedi - or just a fun book.
I have my cup of coffee - I need to get ready to go. I'll take mom shopping & do a few other things with her today.
have a good day ladies!
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Post by hollygail on Mar 30, 2017 11:24:12 GMT -5
A couple of days before my 63rd birthday, I was let go from the best job of my life. It wasn't a total surprise (as I've mentioned before). I gave myself permission to veg a little. DH and I (and my cousin and his wife) already had tickets for a 10 day or 2 week cruise to Alaska (that is, already paid for...), so I wasted zero time wondering whether we had spent frivolously. I decided to enjoy it (and boy, did we enjoy that trip!!!). Back to the "veg" idea. I didn't set my alarm clock for a couple of months. I slept as late as I felt like. I applied for unemployment insurance (which came through, and because of the state of unemployment in the US at that period, Congress kept passing laws to increase the length of time one could collect, so I wound up collecting for two years; someone called me with a job the week after my unemployment insurance checks stopped coming). After a couple of months, watching reruns on TV (and The View for the first time in my life), I got tired of sitting on my tush. I started going to morning minyan (first only on Mondays and Thursdays, and later every day), I walked around the local lake with one woman from my WW meeting on Mondays and another woman (from another WW meeting I went to once or twice) on Thursdays. Little by little, I pampered myself (gave myself manicures and pedicures, for instance). I came out of it okay.
All by way of saying, Louise, that you'll be fine too. Regardless of how things unfold. I too was thinking that now would be the time to look for another job, but then I read that you could be called in as a freelance employee, so I guess you're not going to want to close that door unnecessarily. Still, you could look around without making any final decisions until you actually know whether the possibility of freelance for the same company is out of the question. Is there really no way you can talk with the individual who led you to believe that the 6 months would be severance?
We're all in this with you, Louise. All of us. I didn't ask the rest of the group; I'm taking it upon myself to make this statement. All of us, Louise. We're all in your corner with you.
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Post by gazelle18 on Mar 30, 2017 16:36:18 GMT -5
Louise, what you are going thru right now is awful. Like waiting for the other shoe to fall, every single day. No wonder you are in a state of funk. I am thinking of you, and hoping that you will soon find your way.
Easy for me to say (I am aware), but I will say this about semi retirement and full retirement: I've done both and have been a happy happy camper. I looked at the free time like an artist regards a blank canvas. How will I fill my day. What do I WANT to do? I have indeed filled my days very happily. It was a process, and there were certainly times when I felt a bit lost that no one needed me in court, etc., but I do love it. I recognize that everyone's needs regarding finances, ego-based-on-career, and other factors will differ for each of us. But one day, I predict, you will be ok with whatever happens.
We're all on your corner!!!!
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lee058
This space for rent
Posts: 23,289 
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Post by lee058 on Mar 30, 2017 18:53:12 GMT -5
Hi everybody. I'm just looking in for a moment before The Big Bang Theory starts on TV. I had a mostly lovely day. I went to my favorite Jewish deli (called "Chutzpah") for a second breakfast, then to Barnes & Noble where I bought three books, then to my favorite Asian supermarket where I got some interesting snacks. It was very nice to have some me time!
Louise, I hope things improve for you. Actually, I hope that everyone who is dealing with any hassles will have an easier time soon!
Have a peaceful night, Lee
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