Jewish Musings, Sunday, 4/16/2017

[savtele]

What’s on your mind — how to make kugel? This week’s Torah reading? Life goals? Prayer? We are all engaged in weight loss/weight maintenance journeys and we are all Jewish or at least interested in Judaism. We like to eat, we like to discuss. It is our goal here to provide each other support on our journeys, to share experiences, to call on our rich cultural heritage and texts, and to help each other grow spiritually.

Some of us take weekly turns starting the thread:

Angelika
Holly
Lee
Louise
Lynne
Peachy

And for those of you that stop by to read this thread without posting - you are welcome to do that but you are also welcome to chime in

[savtele]

Boker Tov, Shavuah Tov & Chag Sameach All! The last 2 days of Passover/Chag haMatzot - and by now I am tired of matzah! We've eaten it with peanut butter, Nutella, laughing cow cheese & hummus - unless I plan to dip it into onion dip, there's really nothing left!

I go through this every year - by the last 2 days I'm jonesing for some "real" bread or cake or cookie - a cupcake maybe.....I'm planning making the matzah toffee candy (with the chocolate) to use up the rest of the matzah - I take it to work. One of my regular "rites of spring" on the last few days. It always makes me feel the end of the holiday coming on, and the return to "regular" time.

So today (Sunday) the neighborhood association where Misty (my granddaughter) and family live are having a big Easter Egg Hunt for all the kids - chocolates and small toys will be hidden everywhere (no doubt many will be found 3 weeks later) and all the children (including ours) will be participating. When they moved into the neighborhood, I was a bit bothered by this - now not so much - I've gotten used to the idea. Which I sometimes feel guilty for, and then again, not so much.

My question to you - if you live in a predominantly goyishe neighborhood: do you find yourself participating in things that sometimes make you wonder if you "should" feel guilty? Are you able to just shrug it off??

Meanwhile, like a parenthesis around the holiday, most of us will be at this egg/toy hunt - and a BBQ & picnic will be enjoyed by all. (the weather is supposed to be lovely!)

We'll "talk" more later!

Have a good day, ladies!

[lee058]

Good morning everybody. Hope you are all well. The "Doctor Who" marathon is on in the background; I've seen all these episodes, but am listening. DS is watching but also using his laptop at the same time. The season premiere was on last night and I thought it was very good.

Also yesterday: A metal curtain rod fell on my right arm between the shoulder and elbow. Thank goodness it didn't fall directly on my shoulder! As it is, my arm has been hurting more than it did for a few days, and I've been using the ice pack more. Tomorrow, I'm supposed to be cutting down on the ibuprofen, but I think I will still need the higher amount. I'll see how I feel. I don't think I need to call my doctor, as my arm isn't swollen and the skin didn't get broken. I won't be surprised if it turns black and blue, though.

Re today's topic: On my cul-de-sac, my neighbors have get-togethers for various holidays, including Christmas caroling. DS and I do not participate in that, although we do go to the potlucks at other times. Our neighbor that we play Scrabble with hosts a soup and dessert supper every year which we have been to a few times. H hasn't been to any of the neighborhood parties, but DS and I like them.

It's supposed to hit 87 degrees here today! I don't know if that will break any records, but it certainly will be hot. I'm glad the a/c is on (we turned it on a few days ago when it was almost as hot).

I'll be back later. Have a peaceful day, Lee

[hollygail]

I usually help my chiropractor on Wednesdays, but we went to my sister's on Wednesday. I went to the chiropractor's on Friday. I recognized that when some of the patients left and they wished me a happy Easter (and I smiled and wished them a happy Easter too) I didn't mind in the least. (I don't mind when someone wishes me a merry Christmas in the winter either.) I don't consider this type of behavior (on my part, that is) "participating" in "their" holidays. When I was married to a non-Jewish man, I helped make Easter eggs (using the dye everyone else used), and he decorated the living room with Christmas decorations and the family room with Chanukah decorations. It seemed like supporting each other's holidays (yes, he read from the hagaddah I put together along with his brother and his sister and her family who lived nearby). Family... When I ran the office of one particular business, I'm the person who went shopping for the poinsettia flowers in December... I think there's a "difference" between supporting people I'm close to vs. "participating" in their holiday.

Is that the kind of thing you mean?

[louise]

Angelika, the neighborhood Easter Egg hunt sound like a community happening and the kids would probably feel disappointed to be left out. Seems harmless - the essence of the day is very profound and far removed, I think, from eggs and chocolate, but I may be wrong.

I'm feeling better today and my speaking voice is approaching normal - singing voice, not so much. I wasn't able to do any of the haftarot so far - I especially missed chanting about the bones yesterday - we didn't have that haftarah for the last few years because of when the holiday fell. It's such a wonderful message of hope. I put together the Kiddush yesterday which went well - made matzah meal rolls, some kugels, tuna salad, egg salad and like that. We also had some of the wonderful gefilte fish left from the community seder, charoset too.

I haven't done any workouts since I've been sick - not surprising. What is surprising though is for the last couple of days I have no pain in my knee, ankles, or shoulder. I would think I would hurt more. The other thing though is that for the last week my appetite is down. It makes me think again about food as inflammatory agent. It's not gluten as I did have matzah everyday. I am going to do my lower body workout now - will see what happens. The pain is generally so much a part of my day that I would love to be able to figure out what's going on.


Later today I'm going to a matzah lasagna party. It's a highpoint of the holiday every year; my friend is quite a cook and hostess. Fortunately my appetite is still a little off so I probably won't do as much "damage" as I usually do there.

[peachymom1]

Easter has not been an issue for us, because since it almost always coincides with Passover, my kids were too busy with preparations and then the holiday itself to take much notice. None of them had the slightest interest in the Easter bunny or even the candy, because there was nothing particularly compelling about them. Around here, there is a plethora of Passover candy available; my kids especially love non-pareils and those chocolate-and-caramel disks. And they LOVE the Manischewitz cakes from the mixes. But they can never get enough of DH's charoset. So Easter doesn't have anything to offer them. Theologically, they know what the holiday means and don't have any interest there either.

We've managed to sidestep Christmas pretty much too. My kids love Chanukah and like to make latkes themselves, and we spend time together, sing songs, exchange gifts, etc. They don't feel like they're missing anything. They've all been to friends' houses and seen plenty of Christmas trees, Christmas lights, Christmas cards, etc., but they haven't found Christmas to be compelling either. Maybe because it's all around them and they don't have to wonder about it. We have had many conversations about it over the years too, and they understand Christian theology better than most Christians. They make a connection between religious belief and holiday practice in their own faith and in others.

That's not to say that I believe they're fully insulated, though. DD28's fiancee's mother (z"l) was Jewish, and her dad is Jewish, but her stepmother is not, and they have a Chanukah / Christmas celebration that DD28 attends. At first she felt funny about it, but the stepmother is such a lovely person and is so warm and welcoming that DD28 can't help but feel comfortable with her. She came and talked to me about it the first year (they've been together 4 years now) and asked what I thought. I told her it was OK to participate in the holiday, since it included her own holiday too, but that the really important thing was that her future in-laws love her and want to include her in their celebrations. She's crazy about them too, and she seemed relieved that I didn't disapprove.

More to come...

[peachymom1]

DS26 lives with his girlfriend, who is Asian but not Christian. Her family does have a completely secular Christmas celebration, but she says it's more a celebration of being in America than anything else. Her mother is Buddhist and her father is an atheist, so there's no conflict in religious theology for them. DS26 and his GF got holiday pictures taken last December that they included in their (completely nonreligious) holiday cards that they sent out, and it was a little odd to see DS26 with a Santa hat on and the GF wearing reindeer antlers. I asked DS26 how he felt about it, and he shrugged his shoulders and said "meh" or some other noncommittal thing. The hat was just a prop to him. And I have to admit that the picture is really cute. If my son's only involvement with Christmas is wearing a red hat for a picture, I think he's OK. This is the same DS26 who stayed with Christian fundamentalists when he did his summer internship at the University of Texas. He is always very respectful of other people's religions, and all he had to say was, "A little Christianity goes a long way." Bless his little heart!

[gazelle18]

I grew up in a completely Christian place, where the Jewish community was tiny. I learned how to sing in the Christmas pageant ; I just didn't sing "Jesus" or "Christ.'"

Today, being around the community Christian stuff doesn't bother me; I ignore it all, wish people a merry Christmas or a happy Easter if they do so to me, etc. My closest friends are Jewish, so I don't get a lot of unwanted poinsettias or chocolate bunnies. I have a couple of cousins who have married non Jews and it frankly irks me a bit when I get Christmas cards from them, but I intellectually understand this is my issue to deal with!

I will never forget this: my son's family , which is orthodox and lives in a completely orthodox neighborhood. Is pretty insulated from the wider community. I was talking to one of the grandkids who was about 5; it was around Easter time. Based on our conversation, he clearly had no idea that Easter even existed. So different from how I grew up!

[lee058]

Hi again everybody, and thanks for your good wishes. My arm and shoulder still hurt quite a bit, but I have taken ibuprofen twice today (third time will be at 7PM) and have been using the ice pack as needed. It's been a quiet day at home, which I needed. Tomorrow, DS has off work and I think it would be a good day to rest some more.

Have a peaceful evening, Lee

[happysavta]

I grew up in a completely Jewish (but not religious) neighborhood in Chicago where all the families had come from Europe post WWII and all my school-mates were Jewish. School was deserted on Rosh Hashana and Yom Kippur. My best friend was half-Jewish; her mother was the organist in a Lutheran church. My friend and I both sang in the choir at school and her mother gave me voice lessons and invited me to sing in the Church choir. My parents had a fit at the idea, and so I didn't go. The first time my DS#2 told me that he had gone to a Catholic church with his non-Jewish girlfriend and her father who was a monk at that time, it made me extremely angry.

I became a mother in Israel where Christmas and Easter are not part of the public consciousness. When we came to the U.S. in 1977, I was quite militant about what my children were going to participate in. If Santa came to preschool, I kept them home that day. We lived in mixed neighborhoods, so they were aware of the pretty Christmas lights and the Easter eggs. They met Christian friends in school and in Boy Scouts. In those days, the children and I went to synagogue very regularly and I even kept kosher and for preschool, kindergarten and elementary school, we put them in Hebrew day school. We socialized only with other Jewish or Israeli families, so they had friends there too. I never allowed them to go to Easter egg hunts or to exchange Christmas presents or to bring any gentile pictures or books into the house. When the Mormons knocked, we politely turned them away. In my own home, I made it known I had no respect for that stupid nonsense. My DH also thought it was just a ridiculous set of beliefs.

If someone wishes me a Merry Christmas, I smile back and say, "Enjoy the holiday." The only people I wish a Merry Christmas or a Happy Easter to are my Catholic daughter in law, her father or her sisters. I was very unhappy to see the Christmas lights and the Christmas tree at my son's house, but I guess it can't be helped, since she was not interested in converting.

Last December, I was shopping at Walmart with my blonde, blue-eyed granddaughter who was 3 at the time, and some lady stopped to ask her what Santa had brought her. In a quiet undertone, I told the lady that her family doesn't celebrate Christmas and she doesn't know who Santa Claus is. Then in louder voice so my granddaughter could hear, "But she sure gets lots of presents for Chanukah," which made my granddaughter grin from ear to ear.

As to how I feel about it after 30 years in the U.S., I still feel it is important not to mix religions and religious practices and to preserve Judaism. I don't agree with Christians who describe Christianity as an outgrowth of Judaism; I see it as a deviation from Judaism and I think the two belief systems are diametrically opposed.

When my interfaith granddaughter was at our house for the Passover Seder, she insisted on wearing a kippah. I gave her crayons and a picture of Moses to keep her occupied and quit crawling under the table with her cousin. We blew up plastic balls for the kids that looked like a big round Matza. Today she is at an Easter Egg Hunt. Nothing I can do about it; her parents make the decisions, not me.

[savtele]

so - after all that - the HOA hid candy & toys in the public spaces for the "big kids." Homes with tiny children had stuff hidden in their own yard, so no child went home empty-handed. And then there was a community BBQ - HOA provided ham & chicken & everyone brought sides. It was a fun afternoon, I had my great-grands and their friends crawling all over me, I'm pretty much covered in avocado dip, and all the kids are wearing my lipstick! 'Nelpe spilled pop on me - my butt was sticky and damp most of the afternoon. As I was leaving, some of the older kids were re-hiding more candy for the littler ones - one piece of Reeses PB cup was stuck to my side mirror.

Meanwhile, my DD and Misty (her daughter) handed out colored plastic watering cans from the $ store for each child to use as a gathering basket. & they hid correspondingly colored gardening tools (plastic only for the little ones, real ones for the older ones) for them to search for, each one got a "knee pad" in the same color, and there were packets of flower seeds hidden all over! So, each child now has their own gardening tools - the yards are going to look spectacular! What I would call a very successful afternoon!

Misty is more-or-less secular. I have no problem with that. Her husband has no religious affiliation, one way or another. So- secular practice is fine. I'm learning......always learning!