BDS: Day 8 (August 17 & 18)

[mare]

1. If you still need a coach, post here. Or if your coach disappeared, post here. Or if you can take on one more, post here too.
2. I am starting to sense a bit of a resistance uptick to doing all the work/steps. This is normal now that the novelty has worn off and the reality that to lose weight and keep it off is a lot of work is starting to sink in. I encourage you to write another card about why this is worth it.

Now, onto today's topic - Again,I'm editing a prior post I did for this day

Welcome to a day that should be full of spaces that make dieting easier. And a day where even though that is true, you needn't start dieting just yet. It's also a day where you already have 7 tools in your kit for weight loss from chapter 1 on laying the groundwork -
1. Why you're doing this (ARC)
2. What you'll do (and if that doesn't work, what you'll do next) (Diet and backup)
3. Where you'll eat (Sitting down)
4. How you'll eat (Slowly and mindfully)
5. Who will help you stay on track (Coach)
6. Spaces that make it easier to stay on track (Home, work, car)
7. Awareness that you are already doing some of the work (Credits!)

Now we start Chapter 2 on "Getting Ready to Diet."

Step 1 - Find TIME

In order to be successful at losing weight/maintaining weight loss, it has to be a priority not just in terms of what you want but you will need time to do so. I strongly recommend doing the exercises in the book to realize where you can find this time. If you think you don't like structure, I suggest losing some elsewhere and putting it here. Or, as Beck might say, "How well has not making time for weight loss and its associated tasks worked for you in the past?"

Is it always fun to shop or cook or plan instead of play on the internet? No. But it is worth it. And one of the keys to Beck success is making it so you don't have to overcome the inertia to make the good choice in the moment.

So in addition to rolling out the credits, please report in with how this is already working for you, how you're going to delegate if it isn't happening, and any stuck points.

As for me, this step is one of my favorites because I enjoy planning and office supplies. Marathon training really forces paying attention to scheduling and I have a partner who is both supportive and possibly also a little fearful of the wrath when I am not eating well/exercising regularly so wants to make sure it happens. Thankfully, he is also fine with leftovers to I don't need to plan out a novel dish every night.

Here's what I have learned from the previous rounds with this step -
1. I am less resentful of constantly thinking about what we're going to eat if I split up menu planning, shopping, and cooking into 3 separate days.
2. It's better to only try 1-2 new dishes a week and keep in some easy standbys than to do either extreme. Too much repetition is boring and I am prone to sabotaging thoughts about "enhancing" my meals and too much novelty makes cooking stressful.
3. When I make eating well as priority, I feel better and the rest of life clicks along more pleasantly. This is reflected in my ARC.
4. I am better off doing hard things first things in the morning
5. This is also a time that throwing a little or a lot of money at a problem can be a perk, if that is possible. If you hate deciding what to eat but aren't picky, Real Simple will email you a weekly menu plan . Perhaps having groceries delivered instead of being annoyed at the store is a good choice for you. Then you can use the found time from shopping to do more cooking.

The book makes an excellent point here too about reducing your standards/delegating. This idea being a good one cannot be overstated. We all have limits and cannot get a gold star for every area of one's life. At our house, this means we might eat the same vat of soup for 5 nights out of 7. Perhaps at yours it will mean that the sheets and towels aren't changed twice a week anymore. If you realize you have unreasonable rules and want to share them, please do.

 

[Deleted]

Credits:
1. Healthy breakfast before a lunch meeting so I wouldn't overeat.
2. Left some food on the table at lunch.
3. No snacking
4. Walked laps around my floor at work to enhance steps.
5. Tried to remain positive and confident throughout the day, even though I was feeling fat.
6. Lots of extra walking
7. Recorded yesterday's exercise in log.
8. Started meal planning for week one.
9. Lots of water
10. Accepted that tomorrow is a new day.
11. Ate sitting down.


I don't have a problem making time. I just have to freaking do it.

My current stuck point is that I feel incredibly fat and self conscious and uncomfortable and success feels a million miles away. I'm mad at myself and the daily battle to stay positive and keep working is exhausting. I'm doing it, but I'm really disappointed in where I've let myself get.

[rhubarbarian]

Maybe there are others, but I see Day 8 as "the Rubber Meets the Road" day.

Up until now, it's all been theoretical. Now, you have to actually think about how you're going to make this plan work IRL.

[sunmoonstars]

Aug 16, 2016 21:00:35 GMT -5 @mountainmolehill said:

My current stuck point is that I feel incredibly fat and self conscious and uncomfortable and success feels a million miles away. I'm mad at myself and the daily battle to stay positive and keep working is exhausting. I'm doing it, but I'm really disappointed in where I've let myself get.

I remember feeling like that all too well. What I realized at times like that was that I needed a goal bigger than me. I needed something that would feel challenging and inspiring enough to keep my focus on where I was going, not where I then was.

[lindabee]

My thing is to plan, plan, plan when it comes to eating well. I do the bulk of the grocery shopping, meal planning and prep for the week. DH doesn't help at all with this but he also never complains about what we're having for dinner either. I also make time to walk most nights after dinner.

I've  relaxed my standards on how clean my house is and that it's no big deal if laundry piles up.  I also don't make dinner every  night if I don't want to.  DH can fend for himself which usually means he goes to Carl's Jr. Then I'll have some healthy leftovers or a salad for dinner.   I do realize that this is easier for someone like me who doesn't  have young kids at home anymore.

@mountainmolehill it's all about where you're going. Just take it one step at a time and you'll get there.

[lumberjack55]

Making the time to do this properly was probably the biggest eye opener for me the last time I did Beck. I seem to have just a limited amount of energy, and when it's exhausted, so am I!

So, after much thought and conversation with DH and my sister (who we just visited), I am going to retire from my job. This is a difficult decision in some ways, because it's fun and I like the people I work with. But it was never intended to be a full-time, highly responsible job for me. It just grew into one after my supervisor left. However, my health is my priority, and I can't seem to do both (work at my current job and do all the things I need to do to be healthy).

Since I'm 60, and we never counted on this income, we will be ok if I don't work, so I know I am fortunate.

[mare]

@mountainmolehill, an upcoming step (or several) will help with this. For now, I'll give you the advice of my original got to goal before baby WW leader "Stop wasting energy of what you did and start spending it on what you want to be." I've been there. Weight wise, I am currently in a "how did I do this again?" up 18 from goal and 12 for the year spot but because of all the Beck work, it isn't personal anymore. Keep on working this and I promise it will
1. Get so much easier
2. Work
3. Make most of your life better

[Deleted]

One of the best things about being retired is that there's time to prioritize yourself. I'd been lacking on exercise and meal planning for about a month, but being back on track for the past several days has really been a boost, both mentally and physically. Following Beck definitely takes time, but it's oh so worth it.

[mare]

What Faith said. After just a few stronger days, my mood is so much better.

[jonik]

I have been successful with Beck by making changes in my life
*I take time in the morning for me/Beck. I read my cards, drink my coffee and read/post on the boards. It gets my head in a place and set up the day for success
*I make a weekly plan for meals and exercise. It includes a couple of meals out. It has the planned days for yoga, runs, and weight lifting. I leave it on the counter so DH has no questions "What is for supper tonight?" that make me want to scream. If I am late he will "gather" items to cook.
*I am a list-maker so when I check off the exercise on my above list it helps me feel successful.
*I have accepted that healthy food can also be simple. I use a lot of packaged/frozen salmon (and other fish) that bake for 30 minutes. Add a steamer veggie bag and a starch for DH and it is done. No excuses.
*I have lowered my standards for meals. I am OK with "boring" at home since we go out. Scrambled eggs and tomatoes with green beans are a go-to favorite

I will admit I have either been out of town or had a crazy week that I have not had my "list" and I am struggling. But I have been checking in and keeping the morning routine. I will get the menu and exercise plan done today.

Eventually all this planning became so EASY that it actually took a lot less time. And making the decision for meals once (not struggling and discussing each meal every day) makes life more enjoyable...

[coffeequeen63]

For me, I do a lot of my planning for the day first thing in the morning while I drink my coffee. Sometimes this requires me to get up a bit earlier, but it just seems to make my whole day flow a little better. It gives me time to do the Beck reading, post, read ARC, and follow through on the other Beck tasks.

I still need to work on meal planning and prep on Sundays , however. I think that would help the whole week flow a little more smoothly.

Credits:
1. Read ARC x 2
2. Contacted coaches
3. Ate all meals seated
4. Concentrated on eating slowly, mindfully for breakfast. Lunch and dinner were a bust on this one tbh.
5. Made Stepbet active day and hit 78 days of 10,000 steps or more
6. Gave myself credit even though it was mostly a crappy day yesterday.

[Deleted]

mare, @lindabee, sunmoonstars -- thank you for the words of encouragement. I'll keep trucking.

[fitin14]

Credits:
reading ARCS
resumed yoga with DH
working on eating mindfully and seated
shopped for veg at the farmer's market so fully stocked
made some new MFP friends and am tracking (not only for dieting but have to for digestive issues/dr to review)

making time for myself has always been a hard one for me. I am one of those who gives too many people too much of me and not much is left for myself so this is a really good exercise for me to work on. 

focus will be on finding time to get in more movement, will use the treadmill 

[sunmoonstars]

Aug 17, 2016 7:53:03 GMT -5 @mountainmolehill said:

mare, @lindabee, sunmoonstars -- thank you for the words of encouragement. I'll keep trucking.

Have you thought about doing any kind of fitness challenge - like a half or full marathon?

Another thing that helped me was to take pics of myself from every angle every 2 weeks. Every little bit of improvement I saw in my body, no matter how small, was incredibly motivating.

[Deleted]

Aug 17, 2016 8:04:30 GMT -5 sunmoonstars said:

Aug 17, 2016 7:53:03 GMT -5 @mountainmolehill said:

mare , @lindabee, sunmoonstars -- thank you for the words of encouragement. I'll keep trucking.

Have you thought about doing any kind of fitness challenge - like a half or full marathon?

Another thing that helped me was to take pics of myself from every angle every 2 weeks. Every little bit of improvement I saw in my body, no matter how small, was incredibly motivating.

Yes, actually.  I've started training for a half, which I haven't run since before I was pregnant.  I have also set up a strength training challenge for myself, which is going well so far.   I agree with you that these things are motivating me.   I (personally) do have to be careful to keep my fitness goals separate from my weight loss goals or I fall into the "I ran 2 miles, I can eat 4,127 calories" trap. 

[sailaway]

I was away for three days, with my DS at a kids' regatta, and we just got back late last night. Three days of running around, being on the water, eating what is provided, schedule not my own. So I have some catching up to do on my Beck reading and work, but I am happy with the behaviors I held on to during this time, even after only a few days of Beck. Usually this kind of trip is a free-for-all in my mind, with a reset after. This time, I was more mindful of choices and behaviors, and I didn't feel deprived. Hmmm....

I love leftovers, and I try to cook in big batches on Sunday and eat for the week. When I'm in meal planning mode, I also give myself permission to purchase time savers--diced onion, for example. It's more expensive, but sometimes not having to dice just *one* more thing can make the difference for me between cooking one night or ordering takeout. I also find that if I have stuff ready to grab in the fridge or freezer, I do much better. mare your comment about "overcoming the inertia to make the good choice in the moment" really resonates with me.

[lani]

I always enjoy doing this chapter.  I tend to devalue myself as I don't work, don't have kids, so, of course, I think I should have plenty of time and energy to take care of myself.  When I actually write down my daily schedule, I realize that I do have many activities that keep me busy, just keeping the home fires burning and trying to improve body and soul.

So far, on cruise control.  Sort of waiting for the other shoe to drop, i.e., when will I screw up?  Suppose I should make a card for that.

Usual credits:

Read ARC X 2
Read other Response Cards
Read this chapter and filled out my daily schedule
Reading and posting here (really helps)
Worked out
Meditated
Ate sitting, slowly

[pedidiva]

Initially, I made an Excel spread sheet to schedule my time. It was hard waking up at 4:20 AM so that I could be at the gym at 4:45. It did get easier as time went on. Now, I come to see my early morning gym time as a way to self nurture. It is MY time and I have come to realize that I need it. I feel much saner and more "with it" when I have gone to the gym.

I also used the Excel spread sheet to schedule my studies/writing papers when I was getting my MHA. (Finished this Spring, thank goodness.)

Initially, I thought it was silly to schedule times for me, but now, I have come to see the value in it.

[ermabom]

Credits from yesterday:
- Read ARC 2x
- Emailed coach
- Sat and ate
- Ate mindfully and slowly (even the chips that I snacked on I ate one at a time and slowly)
- Exercised

Planning meals has always been huge for me as we mostly eat home-cooked food. I worked full-time raising 2 kids and cooking almost all my meals at home. I second what mare says about having some tried and true simple meals in one's back pocket. I also freeze extra meals to pull out at a moment's notice. When I cook, if I make a little extra or plan to make extra, I throw the extra into the freezer. I used to cook all our meals on the weekends when the kids were still here. We ate leftovers 2x a week and sometimes had a third meal which was a smorgasbord of leftovers which weren't enough for the whole family. Everybody got to pick one.

I also found it much easier to shop for produce and make sure I used it if I had a meal plan. By Sunday night everything was prepped and cooked and ready to pull out. Lunches were prepped for but put together the night before. Our breakfasts have always been simple and pretty standard so very little prep.

Now i plan our meals around CSA produce and experiment more with new recipes since I have time. DH also cooks on weekdays if needed so I don't have to make sure I have food for the entire week by Sunday night.

This also makes tracking easier as I put new recipes into MFP but tried and true ones are already in there so I can just add them to my daily tracker without any extra work.

[ermabom]

@mountainmolehill, I was where you were about 2 years ago. I started doing Beck half-assed when SharkPhin started a pink book review. I admit to not doing many steps in that round. But then by the fall, when mare started another round, I was in. It took me 6 months to feel freaking good about myself because I am so self-critical. I fixated on every mis-step. It was only when I actually lost enough weight to cause comments that my mood picked up and I haven't looked back.

I am just here to tell you it is worth it. It is hard and you will feel discouraged and fat and self-conscious. But if you do this and stick to it, you will no longer be that way. ((((hugs)))))

[opal]

I love this Mare - "Stop wasting energy of what you did and start spending it on what you want to be."


My credits for yesterday

I got some walking in
I practiced portion control
Read my ARC's
I thought less about food
I started to pop a bit of food in my mouth while cleaning up the kitchen and then thought and resisted

[opal]

Oh and I was also going to say. Time is not a problem for me. Well somedays it is but that's not the norm. However, I hate planning dinner. Which is the only meal I need to plan. Lunch and breakfasts are protein bars or boiled eggs and fruit something I can pick up and go with.

But I find simpler is better as well. A nice piece of meat and a salad and maybe potato and I'm good most of the time. I just hate making salads. I don't know why - it's not like it's hard but I just don't like doing it.

[whiskeytango]

I've been doing well- reading my ARC, eating sitting down - still have a few missteps there- but over all improving each day, same with eating slower and enjoying my food. Having trouble with the need to clean my plate issue- so will make more of an effort to throw food away when I am full. Stopped snacking and my office is free of temptations.

Making time has always been a challenge- and I just recently got married and moved in with step kids and all and find it even harder now to do things just for me. I don't try to make dinners or anything every night anymore- and I am getting better about making time for myself. But it is an adjustment. I signed up for a body transformation challenge- it starts next Tuesday and will be 6 weeks of Krav Maga style workouts and diet (Paleo). Both aspects will challenge me to dedicate time and make some meal changes. While this isn't a long term solution- I think it will help pave the way for dedicating time for myself and for not feeling guilty about eating less or eating differently from other family members, especially at extended family events.

If anyone still needs a Beck Buddy- I would love another/more.

[quinn915]

Good morning, Becksters. Checking in. I am doing better about recognizing and addressing the sabotaging thoughts. And there are a lot of them! Here is my card for this chapter:

ST: It's not that I don't have the time for dieting, I just don't have the energy.

HT: Remember why dieting is important, read your ARC, and bottom line: Fake it till you make it. Following the steps consistently will ultimately give you more energy, make life easier, and move you toward your goals.

Hope everyone has a great day!

[pirouette]

For me the resistance has been my lack of organization in meal planning, something I used to pride myself on. I have to employ some of the lessons from the book, specifically 'no choice' in order to get my sht together and cook for the week.

I've been talking with my coach about serving sizes and pre-planned tracking as well. Again, resistant. I've got to get past this.