Jewish Musings, Sunday 7/30

[lee058]

What’s on your mind — how to make kugel? This week’s Torah reading? Life goals? Prayer? We are all engaged in weight loss/weight maintenance journeys and we are all Jewish or at least interested in Judaism. We like to eat, we like to discuss. It is our goal here to provide each other support on our journeys, to share experiences, to call on our rich cultural heritage and texts, and to help each other grow spiritually.



Some of us take weekly turns starting the thread:



Frieda

Holly

Lee

Louise

Lynne

Peachy



And for those of you that stop by to read this thread without posting — you are welcome to, but you are also welcome to chime in. Don’t be shy!

[lee058]

Good morning everybody! Hope you are all well and SAFE! This week we'll be talking about our relationships with things.

Today's topic: How do you define the word "covet" ?? We're told not to do it, but what do you think of this?

To me, to covet something is to want something someone else has, really strongly. This can be disruptive when it interferes with the personal relationship. It also makes us dissatisfied with what we do have, or even who we are and choices we have made.

And while we're on the topic, what do you think of advertising? It seems to me that its purpose is to create a sense of artificial scarcity. This is especially true for TV commercials. They say that if a person has the specific car, clothes, makeup, etc., that life would be perfect (or at least a lot better). I think that this is at best misleading, and at worst, disruptive to personal happiness.

Any thoughts on these? Have a peaceful day, Lee

[hollygail]

I mostly agree with your definition of coveting. I'm not sure about the dissatisfaction part.

Advertising is a-whole-nother kettle of fish... I'm not sure about the "scarcity" aspect. I can see that some people might feel that way. I don't. There's one ad on TV I see that I have stopped the fast-forwarding to watch. It's a mature woman (I hesitate to name the brand, but you can email me if you really want to know) who talks about having made a single particular product you brush onto your face which hides all the things you want to hide and gives you an overall glow... It doesn't make me feel like my naked face is ugly or anything like that (the only time I wear make-up is when I get dressed up, like for Shabbat services and/or major parties or something).

Once upon a time I enrolled in a not-for-credit advertising class (at a community college). One assignment we were given was about getting customers to buy your product. I turned in the idea of giving away a pizza cutter (the rolling kind) with the purchase of a pizza for when the store first opened to get new customers (not that I had any plans or even ideas about opening a pizza place). It was the main thing I retain from that class (which must have been 40 or 50 years ago)...

[gazelle18]

Good topic!
It has been a long time since I have coveted a “thing” possessed by another. I am very content with the things I have. However, I have in the past the thinner figures that other women have “possessed.” I have finally come to accept that the body God gave me could improve, but I’ll never be a supermodel. This has been liberating.

I think advertising is fascinating. Of course , I hate that it makes you think you want something you don’t. But I think that the science and the art behind advertising is very very interesting. Look at the Bud Light phenomenon (where sales have plummeted after the company celebrated a transgender person), and the Barbie movie launch (where Barbie is being reborn as a feminist model.) The rise of Trump was 100 percent the fact that he understood the power of image and public persona.

So, say a tv ad shows a pretty girl making herself prettier with lush red lipstick, then going on a walk and attracting the attention of a virile male. A viewer absolutely KNOWS that her buying that lipstick will not result in her attracting a cute guy, but it is a fun fantasy. It makes her happy to imagine herself with pretty, attractive lips. So she buys the lipstick. She is in on the joke, and that’s ok with her. The key is to remember that it is all a fantasy - preferably one that is harmless.

[gazelle18]

A recent story about advertising:

My teenaged granddaughter recently got into makeup. For her birthday last year, I took her to a makeup store. I sat in a chair while she roamed the store. She came up to me , holding a product triumphantly , and announced that she had managed to get the “last” box, and that she had been looking for this “ forever.” She also confided to me that this product was a “favorite” of a certain pop star. I sighed inwardly, and handed her my credit card.

[peachymom1]

I think coveting is when you want something in an extreme, unreasonable, unhealthy, unrealistic or unethical way, and you can't let go of it.

For example, I think it's OK to envy someone's nice home or happy family or musical talent or new car or fulfilling job, or whatever. That seems like normal human reactions. If you really want those things, work on obtaining them, or let go of something that isn't possible or is unlikely. Nearly everyone can work on their relationships, practice a talent or start a new hobby, or think about a different career or whatever. And if you can't, you have to accept that. I'm never going to be a homeowner, but I still admire my friends' homes and sometimes envy them, for ten seconds, then forget it. I have many things to be happy about, and I'm grateful for that. What's the point of harping on what you can't have? Seems like a waste of time and energy to me, when you could be appreciating your blessings. And how about examining your own self to figure out why you're coveting in the first place?

[peachymom1]

There's no question that advertising is very powerful. I had dinner recently with a friend who uses Jennifer Lopez's skincare products and has apparently developed an allergy to some of them. She was painstakingly testing them on herself one at a time, so she could stop using the ones that cause a reaction. I asked her why she didn't just stop using all of them and switch to something else. She gave me a horrified look and said, "Because they're JENNIFER LOPEZ products! I love them!" Sigh. And this woman in is her 50s!

When I was a pre-teen, I watched an after-school special called "Free to Be You and Me," with Marlo Thomas and a bunch of other celebrities. One segment talked about TV commercials that showed that the person touting the cleaning product was an actress, getting paid to talk about the product. That stuck with me. Everyone gets paid for doing commercials and other ads. Why should I believe what they say, just because they speak with authority or are famous? I've always hated carbonated drinks - am I going to start drinking them because some singers I like have done Pepsi and Diet Coke commercials (Michael Jackson and Taylor Swift, respectively)? I loved Betty White, but she couldn't convince me to eat Snickers bars (I hate them). Does Jennifer Lopez really use Venus products to shave her legs? I doubt it; she probably waxes her legs. So why should I buy the product she's getting paid to tout?

I will say that I remember a lot of commercial jingles from my youth, complete with parodies. Music sticks in my head a lot more than celebrity faces. But just because I remember them doesn't mean I bought the products, even when I was old enough to have my own money. I think I'm an oddity though. It seems to me that lots of people are influenced by advertising in all forms - it's a multi-billion-dollar industry with relentless drive. I'm sure I'm not completely immune to it.