Jewish Musings, Monday Aug 7

[louise]

What’s on your mind — how to make kugel? This week’s Torah reading? Life goals? Prayer? We are all engaged in weight loss/weight maintenance journeys and we are all Jewish or at least interested in Judaism. We like to eat, we like to discuss. It is our goal here to provide each other support on our journeys, to share experiences, to call on our rich cultural heritage and texts, and to help each other grow spiritually.

Some of us take weekly turns starting the thread:
Frieda
Holly
Lee
Louise
Lynne
Peachy

[louise]

Well, to finish off yesterday’s adventure – I was not able to get going on my great niece’s smaller bike but I did get closer. Since her grandma (my SIL) was gifting her with her old (very expensive) bike, she gave me her small bike to take home. I will keep trying and a friend has offered space in her garage for me to keep it in (assuming I can ever get it out of the trunk).

For today’s topic – I have some what I would call high level relationships with people. You know the kind – we treat each other with tremendous regard and can read/anticipate each other easily. We nurture and trust each other. I include my boss, rabbi, and therapist on this list. I realize that I do not accord myself such treatment. I don’t make things as good as I can for myself. I don’t consistently hold myself in high regard. I don’t consistently nurture myself. So I am taking a look to see how I can change this.

Self-respect is the everyday discipline of loving who you are. It is the bedrock of developing self-acceptance and self-love. It's hard, if not impossible, to live a fulfilled, meaningful, and joyous life if you don't respect yourself first. — JUDITH ZACKSON, PHD
She talks about:
Internal sense of happiness – looking inside ourselves rather than comparing to others
Commitment to upholding personal values – I feel I’m pretty solid on maintaining my moral values (or is it a moral value to take good care of one’s self?)
Ability to establish boundaries
Strong sense of dignity – on this last one she says “Respecting oneself means having a strong sense of dignity toward one’s person and position, and honoring it at all times.” Maybe that’s the weak one for me. 

I welcome whatever comes up for you about these.

[lee058]

Good morning everybody. Hope you are all well and SAFE!

Re today's topic: Boundaries, like fences, make good neighbors (and friends and family).

Have a peaceful day, Lee

[gazelle18]

This is wonderful. And I just had an epiphany: what Louise is saying can be seen as an inverse “golden rule.” The golden rule often goes like this: Love your neighbor as you love yourself. The extension is: Love yourself as you would a neighbor.

Treat yourself with the same respect as befits a person with whom you have a high level, close relationship with. This is SO perfect!

The quote cited by Louise is also perfect.

It happened to me just this morning: I made a grocery run, got to the cashier, and realized I’d left my wallet at home! I was totally aggravated with my “stupidity”. I beat myself up all the way back to to house. What an idiot, etc., etc. Then I read Louise’s post. Thanks, Louise! Had a friend left her wallet at home, I would have said to the friend, “No biggie. We all make silly mistakes. Easily resolved.” And that is how I should have treated myself.

[gazelle18]

Off topic: I loved the typo in Louise’s heading for Jewish musings from yesterday. (Is she ALREADY thinking gefilte? It’s only august!)

[hollygail]

Lots and lots have been written about how women treat themselves as second class. Whether it's that we put others first or something else, they all boil down to the same thing: we need to treat ourselves well. I was taught a long time ago to remember what the airplane's flight attendant says about putting on your own mask first (so that you're able to help the person next to you, whether a youngster or anyone else). If you don't take care of you, you aren't able to take care of anyone or anything else. It's a difficult lesson to learn. Any way a woman can find to learn it is A-OK in my book.

Good for you, Louise, for recognizing and doing something about it!

[peachymom1]

I would say yes, it's a moral value to take good care of one's self. Not to the exclusion of everyone or everything else, but yes, I think we have more to give others when we give enough to ourselves.

I didn't notice Louise's typo until you pointed it out today - thanks for the giggles! Now I want some gefilte fish!