Jewish Musings, Sunday, Sept 10

[louise]

What’s on your mind — how to make kugel? This week’s Torah reading? Life goals? Prayer? We are all engaged in weight loss/weight maintenance journeys and we are all Jewish or at least interested in Judaism. We like to eat, we like to discuss. It is our goal here to provide each other support on our journeys, to share experiences, to call on our rich cultural heritage and texts, and to help each other grow spiritually.

Some of us take weekly turns starting the thread:
Holly
Lee
Louise
Lynne
Peachy









And for those of you who stop by to read this thread without posting — you are welcome to, but you are also welcome to chime in. Don’t be shy!

[louise]

Well, you know I have been upset with my rabbi in our working together on the Rosh Hashannah service this year. I felt he was leaning on me too much and not being responsive enough. It has been stressful for me. So before services started shabbat morning I mentioned that in this season we look to repair things between people and that I was not feeling comfortable with him (I didn’t exactly say I was angry, but I don’t think that was necessary – and in the end he knew). He made time to talk with me this afternoon. He agreed he had kept me waiting too long. Besides the usual weddings and deaths – of which we have had several – he was asked to fill in for another rabbi at a wedding and drove 2 of his daughters off to college, etc. He said he knew most of what was coming up in his schedule and he should have planned for it and gotten me the information sooner. He apologized for making things harder for me. I had started feeling maybe I was the one who was too caught up in getting the service items scheduled (it’s what I do for a living as a production director) and maybe I should be more laid back. He said no, without me on his case he would have left some of this until the last minute. Hr thanked me for bringing it all up especially as he had no idea.

Sometimes saying what you feel can be risky. You don’t know what you’re going to get. The approach has to do perhaps with how well you know the other person and with valuing yourself. In this case it was also about valuing the relationship. It was not just feeling like I needed to make amends but that the relationship needed some mending and I did not want to carry that into the New Year.  Wondering if anyone else has a situation they have been thinking about remedying. “Tis the seson!

[hollygail]

Today is the first day of religious school and I'm still in my sleep clothes. I'm dropping in to say I won't be back home until late this afternoon (75th birthday celebration for a friend immediately after Sunday School), plus tutoring someone at 3:30 and a meeting with John about more HHD English readings (and Torah honors) afterward... I did respond to the Friday post (early on Saturday) in case anyone's interested...

[peachymom1]

Louise, I'm so glad to hear that you cleared things up with your rabbi and that he took responsibility and apologized. Not everyone does, of course, and I agree that it can be risky.

Holly, I read your post from yesterday. I wonder if you would have been happy teaching math? Or if maybe you would have eventually changed paths and chosen to go where you did anyway. Career things are strange sometimes - I never thought I'd be a career admin, but here I am, almost 20 years at this job, and I love it. Who knew?

I'll be back later to comment on Louise's topic some more. DH had to work on a project at 1 a.m. and didn't finish until 7 a.m., so he's sleeping now, and I have to take DS32 to work, then make menus for the week, order groceries, etc. BBL!

[lee058]

Good afternoon everybody (by about a half hour). Hope you are all well and SAFE! I have bursitis in my right elbow. I had it drained on Friday but need to get it done again, ugh.

Re today's topic: I would like to be nicer to people and more responsible in the coming year. There's always room for improvement.

Have a peaceful day, Lee

[gazelle18]

DH and I are jointly working on being more patient with one another. We have a great relationship, but sometimes allow our personal moods to interfere with the kindness we should show to each other. As DH eases into retirement, we are more cognizant of the need for peaceful coexistence !

[hollygail]

Once upon a time, many, many years ago, DF was diagnosed with a type of cancer. At that particular time, the statistics for people with his diagnosis was two years, and if such an individual lived for another five, would likely die from something unrelated to that particular cancer.. (And as it turned out, my father was in that latter category.) However, I spent at least a year after his diagnosis in counseling about getting ready for him to die. At some point, I was told to talk with him about it. I said there was no use; I knew what he'd say: along the lines of, "Don't be silly, Holly, you know everyone dies" and that sort of thing. However, one woman actually talked me into it. I called him. He was quiet on the phone and did not interrupt me even once. When I got finished, he said quietly, "I know exactly what you mean. My mother..." and what I know and you might not was that my paternal DGM had slipped on the ice in front of her apartment in Brooklyn the winter she was about 80 and here we were having a conversation a good 20 years later. He didn't have to finish his sentence. He had been, in fact, going through the same thing about his DM as I was about my DF. It felt good to have that communication.

So yes, Louise, I do know what it's like. I too am glad the rabbi had it together enough to listen to (really hear) you and I'm glad he took responsibility for his actions (and non-actions) and apologized.

[peachymom1]

I don't think there's anything in particular that needs remedying for me, but maybe I'm in denial. I'm going to give this some thought; as you say, it's the season, and I do take HHD self-reflection seriously.