Jewish Musings, Tuesday, March 5

[louise]

What’s on your mind — how to make kugel? This week’s Torah reading? Life goals? Prayer? We are all engaged in weight loss/weight maintenance journeys and we are all Jewish or at least interested in Judaism. We like to eat, we like to discuss. It is our goal here to provide each other support on our journeys, to share experiences, to call on our rich cultural heritage and texts, and to help each other grow spiritually.

Some of us take weekly turns starting the thread:
Frieda (hopefully)?
Holly
Lee
Louise
Lynne
Peachy

And for those of you who stop by to read this thread without posting — you are welcome to, but you are also welcome to chime in. Don’t be shy!

[louise]

I don’t know, I’m probably overthinking this, but here’s how it went. I was talking to my therapist today and said something about my real self being thin and neat. He pointed out that it may not make me happy but that’s not who I am. He didn’t say the rest of the words but they were understood. Who I am is fat and my apartment is a mess. That is not to say that is all I am. I know that these words are descriptive but not defining, but all the same it made me stop and think about the real me. I think of myself as a thin, neat person who is currently in this other state. Maybe it would be more helpful to think that the real me is exactly how I am and that if I am not happy with that I can take steps to change it. Not sure how this changes anything or where to take this but I have the feeling that accepting myself exactly how I am right now would probably a good start point? Or is it more effective to fight to uncover what I feel is my true self?

[hollygail]

My DS was overweight and/or on a diet most of her life. She told me once (or many more times than once) that she was always surprised when she was walking somewhere and happened to catch her reflection in a store window or a mirror. In her head, she was thin (not like a model and certainly not emaciated, but that her height and weight were in good proportion to each other). (Later in life, her first-born, a son, was dying of cancer and she lost her appetite and lost a lot of weight; she's still relatively slim although he died about 16 years ago). I always thought it was a good idea to see yourself (in your mind's eye, or whatever) as what you wanted to be. Facing reality, it seems to me, is not necessarily something that is to replace one's self-image. Knowing you're not what you look like (at least it seems to me) is one way of knowing (having?) a goal. During menopause, I gained a lot of weight (well over the 5 to 10 pounds all the books and articles mentioned). I went from a size 8/10 to a size 14. I recognize that many women would kill to be a size 14 but I was physically uncomfortable. I was fully willing to be a 10/12, but not have size 14s be too snug for comfort. I joined Weight Watchers (and met all of you!!!). It took me a while to get down to goal, but I've been Lifetime at Goal since late summer/early fall of 2010 (and some of my clothes since then are just plain size 8).

[gazelle18]

Very interesting. I recently saw myself on a brief video. My voice sounded different from what I thought I sounded like. Fortunately, I was shown from only the shoulders up, but still, the only thing I saw was my double chin! I do picture myself differently from reality. Then something, like this video, brings me back to reality.

[lee058]

Good afternoon everybody. Hope you are all well and SAFE! Please pray for Israel.

Re today's topic: My real self is not so much about how I look, but about how I feel about myself. I like myself. There are some things I would change about my current "me-ness" (fat and messy, to quote above people), but all in all, I think I am a good person, and that's what really matters.

Have a peaceful rest of the day, Lee

[peachymom1]

I see value in both thinking of myself as I want to look and accepting the reality of how I do look. Right now I'm in an eating fuzz, so I don't especially WANT to look at my actual self, but I kind of don't really care that much either. (I realize that makes no sense!)