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Post by peachymom1 on Mar 16, 2024 23:35:56 GMT -5
What’s on your mind — how to make kugel? This week’s Torah reading? Life goals? Prayer? We are all engaged in weight loss/weight maintenance journeys and we are all Jewish or at least interested in Judaism. We like to eat, we like to discuss. It is our goal here to provide each other support on our journeys, to share experiences, to call on our rich cultural heritage and texts, and to help each other grow spiritually.
Some of us take weekly turns starting the thread:
Frieda (hopefully)?
Holly
Lee
Louise
Lynne
Peachy
And for those of you that stop by to read this thread without posting — you are welcome to, but you are also welcome to chime in. Don’t be shy!
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Post by peachymom1 on Mar 16, 2024 23:37:14 GMT -5
Good morning and shavua tov!
Well, it’s March already, and I’m still adjusting to major changes and trying to get back to myself / my routine / some semblance of order and belonging. DS33 and DIL are married now, the wedding was wonderful, I saw lion dancers for the first time, and I’m delighted to have another daughter in my family.
The harder thing is DH’s loss of job. We can manage financially for a while, as long as I’m still working, so that isn’t the immediate issue. It’s DH’s lack of daily structure, and his feelings of uselessness and depression. I’m not sure if he can work through this (with as much help as I can give him), or if he will need to talk to a professional, especially if he gets seriously depressed. But I do know it’s taking a toll on me too. I need to keep my own routines in place, and he keeps getting in the way. I think we need to consider the possibility that he might never work again, and decide on how we’re going to arrange our life around that.
Another monkey wrench that got thrown into the works is that my other DIL (DD35’s wife) had to have surgery two days before DS33’s wedding and was therefore unable to attend. Fortunately, DD35 was still able to come for the wedding, because DDIL’s dad flew to Denver to take care of her (DDIL) (and grill the doctors at pre-op, as well as surgery day, of course). DDIL’s DF gave us lots of updates on DDIL’s progress, and we all sent pictures and video of the wedding so DDIL and her dad could enjoy that while DDIL was recovering. It’s a bummer DDIL couldn’t be there for the wedding, but she does have a sense of humor – she photo-shopped one of the family pictures and drew in a stick figure of herself. She’s been recovering well with no complications, thank God.
It doesn’t help that I got sick a couple of days after the wedding and have taken forever to get over this cold/flu/whatever the heck it is. Today is the best I’ve felt in weeks. Cold/flu medicine has helped. Using my neti-pot and getting plenty of water and rest have helped. But I haven’t been to shul, because I didn’t want to infect anyone, though I certainly could use some human contact. I meant to go yesterday, but I felt so overwhelmed when I got up that I just couldn’t get myself in gear, plus I overslept (an extremely rare occurrence for me) and threw my whole timing out of whack. Oy!
While I’m kvetching, my eating has been out of control since the wedding, and I only got myself back on track a week ago last Friday. I did very well until Thursday night, the night before my WI. When planning our weekly menus, DH and I had decided to go out for dinner Thursday night, just the two of us, since the other DS33 was working that night. We planned where we would go, and I even decided ahead of time to have a point-friendly salad there that I like. I also had enough points to have some French bread with olive oil, so I was feeling pretty good. We don’t usually order dessert when we go out for dinner, and DH didn’t want any. I was plenty satisfied from the salad and bread, but I ordered dessert anyway and ate the whole thing. Why? It certainly wasn’t a planned or logical choice. It was my emotional devil on my shoulder, and I listened to the nasty little imp. Ugh!
The good news is that I’ve done well with my eating since Friday, my WI day. And I’ve exercised twice since then. I have to remind myself that exercise, among all its other benefits, is tremendously helpful for my mental health. I think today I'll get out that chair yoga DVD I bought ages ago. That should help with my head too.
So I guess I don’t have an actual topic of discussion today, just wanted to tell you all what’s going on with me. If you have any suggestions or advice or commiseration on any of this, I would be grateful for any help. Thanks for listening to me!
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Post by hollygail on Mar 17, 2024 7:19:26 GMT -5
You've laid out the entire scenario and mentioned things you're already doing or are planning to do regarding dealing with the situation. My best advice is to keep on keepin' on with what you're doing and planning to do. You've always known you have a good head on your shoulders and when you look back on previous difficult situations you know you handled them well (or at least better than previous times). You'll do fine this time too. And I believe you already know that. Moreover, we're all here for you.
Later today, Sunday school is mostly about Purim. The classes will go to "stations" (not a carnival, unfortunately) for various fun activities. The teaching time will be fairly limited, and because I used all my class time last week to teach about Purim, I was musing out loud and wondered (last week, yes, in front of all my students) about what we'd do this week. I thought something fun and asked if they liked word finds (turns out, I'm the main fan of word finds) but they asked if we could do charades again; I finished last week's lesson plan almost 15 minutes early; I never under-plan lessons! I almost always over-plan them, so I suggested charades. Only a few of them had ever played it before, plus (as I found out) they'd never played with all the information given them (one said they'd only mimed the "entire" concept rather than word by word). So I showed them some of the "rules" and although they all had a really good time, they weren't particularly successful figuring out many of the answers. So when they said I should give them each "item" to be mimed (not two teams competing against each other), I asked a few questions (like, am I limited to Purim? or limited to Jewish holidays? or can I give you anything Jewish?) and they gave me carte blanche. Last night I came up with kids' jokes (including a few knock-knock jokes) after coming up with 20 "Jewish" things for them to act out for charades. (Oh! And I found the "rules" for charades and printed a copy for them to have in front of them!) I have more than enough "fun" things to keep them interested in "Jewish" stuff for all of the amount of class time I'll have. Then we go to each of the stations.
One thing my congregation has been doing for quite a few years is the annual Hamentaschen Bake (which some printed material abbreviates as HB which always throws me, since those are my initials!). I always ask for my class to be last at the Bake (each class helps out for about 30 minutes). And (separately from Sunday school), DH volunteers to help at the Bake, so I'll go in the morning with my carpool buddy (she'll drive), DH will drive himself a little later, and then he and I will go to the luncheon / reception for my student who became bat mitzvah yesterday morning (and no one knew that I'd learned the aliyah I chanted in only a week). Full day! (Full weekend, truth be told; this same girl did a bunch of stuff at services Friday night too, after my already regularly filled Friday and we went out to dinner between leaving the chiropractor and before erev Shabbat services...)
Think I can take tomorrow off?
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brgmsn
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Post by brgmsn on Mar 17, 2024 8:49:56 GMT -5
Oh peachymom1, that's too much. I'm so sorry. When my DH was out of work an agency helped him find a job. Maybe your DH could see one? I'm sure he's tried everything so just ignore me if he has. It's hard to navigate, when one is out of work. I always had the benefits and made the most money, so it wasn't that huge a change when he didn't have a job (he was undiagnosed ADHD for years so jobs were many during that period). And he's only ever done sales, so he was limited there too. Big hugs to you. And refuah shelamah to your DDIL. And both of you too. |
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Post by louise on Mar 17, 2024 8:52:43 GMT -5
Today will only be day 4 of eating on track and posting. Something happened with my scale though. I weighed myself on my Friday WI day with much intrepidation and was relieved to find I hadn't gained weight over these last wayward months. Then yesterday, for no good reason, I got on the scale again and was 7 pounds heavier. So my weight the day before was not correct. I don't know how that could happen, but it did. That weight gain makes sense but it was a blow. Still gotta do what I gotta do. Tomorrow is my annual physical so I will probably hear a word or two from my doctor.
Tough goi ng with my 6 megillah verses but if I'm diligent I should be able to pull it off.
On another note my kitchen is a mess (mostly the junk mail on the table, etc. Someone is coming over later this week to use my kitchen to prepare for kiddush (her kitchen is not kosher) so today I am going to try and whip it back into shape - good prelude to passover anyway!
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lee058
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Post by lee058 on Mar 17, 2024 9:02:39 GMT -5
Good morning everybody. Hope you are all well and SAFE! Please pray for Israel.
Comments: As usual, everybody sounds like they have a lot going on. Best wishes, and best of luck, in getting everything done easily and successfully.
Today, I woke up at 5AM and got DS up at 5:30. We had breakfast and are now doing laundry. DH got up early but went back to sleep; he'll be going out later for a soccer game.
There's a beautiful little cherry tree right outside my window here in the sunroom. It is covered with blossoms, and is a joy to look at.
I have some paperwork I ought to do, but think it'll wait until tomorrow. This afternoon, I hope to take a nap, and then tonight, watch a Bette Davis movie with DS. We love her!!
Have a peaceful day, Lee
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Post by peachymom1 on Mar 17, 2024 11:26:10 GMT -5
Thank you so much, everyone, for all your support. YOU ARE THE BEST!!!!
DS33 dashed out of here to get to work on time, before I could even offer to give him a ride. Then DH and I had a leisurely (and point-friendly) breakfast. We need to make menus for the week, go to the butcher, do the dusting...boring stuff, but nice to do together. :+)
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Post by gazelle18 on Mar 17, 2024 13:27:47 GMT -5
Late to this discussion….
Peachy, the only things I can add are that your DH’s feelings are justified and completely understandable. Of COURSE, he feels useless and depressed. That’s how a normal person in his situation should feel. In fact, if he were happily humming his way through without said feelings, there would be something very off with him. Please encourage him to seek emotional support in addition to what you are giving. An employment agency is also a good idea. I have no doubt that you and he will get thru this.
Thinking about you!
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