Jewish Musings, Tuesday, March 19, 2024

[peachymom1]

What’s on your mind — how to make kugel? This week’s Torah reading? Life goals? Prayer? We are all engaged in weight loss/weight maintenance journeys and we are all Jewish or at least interested in Judaism. We like to eat, we like to discuss. It is our goal here to provide each other support on our journeys, to share experiences, to call on our rich cultural heritage and texts, and to help each other grow spiritually.

Some of us take weekly turns starting the thread:

Frieda (hopefully)?
Holly
Lee
Louise
Lynne
Peachy

And for those of you that stop by to read this thread without posting — you are welcome to, but you are also welcome to chime in. Don’t be shy!

[peachymom1]

Good morning! Last week, Holly mentioned two things that reminded me of wedding-related events, so I thought I would bring them up.

Holly talked about a bat mitzvah party with a milkshake bar. That sounds like a teenager’s dream! This reminded me of the Boba bar that DS33 and DDIL had right after the wedding ceremony, instead of a cocktail hour. I’m not a Boba fan myself, but apparently almost everyone else was. The vendor who supplied the Boba brought extra, about enough for 30 more people, and it was ALL gone in no time. Huge hit!

Holly also mentioned an engaging dinner conversation at a bat mitzvah celebration with a grandfather, the only time she ever met him. Reminds me of a pre-wedding dinner we had with family members. DH and I were seated with the bride’s only sister and the sister’s boyfriend. We’d met the sister briefly a couple of times before, but never had a chance to really talk to her, and we’d never met her boyfriend at all. If the young ‘uns were chagrinned to be matched up with an older couple, they certainly didn’t show it; we were all laughing and trading stories, and it was marvelous. We found unexpected things in common and had a blast with them. I think part of it is just a willingness to ignore stereotypes about age and generation, and just have fun.

What other new traditions have you seen at different simchas? I’m sure the bar/bat mitzvah party has morphed tremendously over time, and weddings certainly have. Both my married kids had a photo booth at their weddings, and DD35 had pie instead of wedding cake. She also had a S’mores bar, which was extremely popular. I had never been entertained by lion dancers before, and it was an amazing addition to DS33’s wedding. I wonder what other people are adding to their celebrations? Does anyone have more stories? Or what would you add to a special celebration, if you were/are planning one?

[hollygail]

First, seating DH and me with the 13-year-old's grandparents is not exactly a "cross-generational" type of thing. My youngest grandchild (that is, on my son's side, as opposed to on my step-children's sides) is about to graduate from college... (DH's kids both married when they were older; their kids range in age from about 6 to about 16ish.)

And two days ago, at the luncheon reception/party (for the younger sister of the girl whose party found me sitting next to the grandfather I told you about) found DH and me at the table with the three grandparents and great-uncle (the paternal DGF's brother) (plus his son) and the sister of the girl's DM who sat next to me (and on the other side of her was her DM, the widow of the DGF I talked about). The girl's aunt and I talked the entire time (including her DM in our conversation whenever possible). I had just as good a time with her and her mother as I'd had a few years ago with their respective father/husband. It turned out that at one point the aunt mentioned her profession and I asked what her husband did; he's in Linguistics. I mentioned that my undergraduate degree is also in Linguistics and that I studied with a particular individual who was one of the top students of Noam Chomsky, the "father" of the field. Her eyes got wide and immediately said her husband had to meet me because Chomsky was his "idol" (or words to that effect). Sure enough, not only did her husband know who my professor was (and had heard of my other professor, the chair of the department while I was an undergrad) but talked about the time his department had invited my former-prof (former student of Chomsky) to address his department. (And said husband isn't Jewish, and this was the second bat mitzvah he'd ever attended, her older sister's having been the first).

Anyway, we had a great time.

The DJ (at one point) got everyone's attention. He had all the friends of the bat mitzvah sitting on the floor in front of him. He gave three of them the microphone; each had written something (on her cell phone, from which they each read) about the history of their friendship with the bat mitzvah and how much she meant to each (with examples of their friendship). It was touching to hear such love coming from her friends. As soon as the third one was done, the girl's mother's brother jumped up and ran over to where the DJ was, having to jump over an obstacle in his way, to take the microphone. He addressed his niece directly for all of us to hear. He apparently is some sort of scientist and made at least four or five comparisons between "science says..." and what he had to say directly to her. One example: science says time is infinite; I say you have time for the rest of your life to explore whatever you want to (although I didn't get that one exactly the way he did, other than the "science says..." and the "I say..."). By the time he finished, I had tears in my eyes. I just kept thinking about what a terrific uncle he must be. I saw the love in his eyes as he was talking to her.

Terrific family.

[gazelle18]

Not long ago, I went to a wedding with a cupcake tower, instead of a wedding cake. The cupcakes were of course various flavors, and a server had to stand there to make sure no one topped the creation by picking a flavor that was not on the top layer! It was lovely.

I also went to a bat mitzvah where there was -I am not making this up - a French fry station! You could top your fries with whatever you wanted : different types of cheese, chili, different sauces, etc. The height of decadence and bad nutrition, but whatever. It was very popular.

At celebrations in NOLA, it is very common for at some point the guests to form a “second line” and parade around the room to the sound of traditional Dixieland music like “When the Saints Go Marching In.” They all wave white handkerchiefs or napkins. It’s like a New Orleans version of a conga line, and it is steeped in centuries of tradition. People even form second lines at funerals - I’m not kidding. This is especially true when a jazz musician dies. Trumpets blare, drums beat, and everyone forms a line behind the coffin. The hankies come out and wave in the air. It is really a cultural wonder.

[louise]

Sorry. Crunchtime finishing up Mishloach Manot and starting on the community seder. Will try to come back later.

[lee058]

Good afternoon everybody. Hope you are all well and SAFE! Please pray for Israel.

I'm feeling kind of out of it as I had fasting blood tests this morning, so I had a very late breakfast. Also my stomach is upset; either from that or from taking my meds late too. So I'm afraid I won't have anything to post today. Tomorrow, I'm sure I'll be fine.

I enjoyed reading everyone's posts, especially about the food(!!).

Have a peaceful rest of the day, Lee

[louise]

Geez I must not be getting out enough! These innovations sound great to me. I can't think of any though.
New for my synagogue erev Purim is that all of the kids services are Sunday morning. Saturday night is only the adult service and spiel and it will be followed by a champagne and dessert reception. The person organizing the desserts always is well known for creativity and quality - I wonder if he will deign to have hamentashen. Did I mention btw tasting a marzipan hamentashen in London? Excellenet.

It seems I have found a seder caterer. Waiting for a revised proposal tomrrow.
Have also rresolved the mishlach manot discrepancies.
Moving right along.

[peachymom1]

I am definitely feeling like I'm missing out on stuff!