Jewish Musings, Thursday 11/17

[lee058]

What’s on your mind — how to make kugel? This week’s Torah reading? Life goals? Prayer? We are all engaged in weight loss/weight maintenance journeys and we are all Jewish or at least interested in Judaism. We like to eat, we like to discuss. It is our goal here to provide each other support on our journeys, to share experiences, to call on our rich cultural heritage and texts, and to help each other grow spiritually.

Some of us take weekly turns starting the thread:

Angelika
Holly
Lee
Louise
Lynne
Peachy

[lee058]

Good morning everybody! I don't know if it's my browser or the website, but it took me several tries to start the thread. I hope this time will do the trick.

Hope everyone is well today. I'm feeling good. I have a fun day planned for today; a little food shopping, Scrabble with my neighbor, etc. I'm looking forward to doing things.

As for today's topic, let's stick to positive things and enjoy ourselves. How about if we talk about aspects of ourselves that we like and/or value in other people? I have to say that what I think are important are honesty, kindness and resilience. I try to live this way although I am far from perfect. When I see them in other people, I feel that they are people I want to know and have in my life.

These aspects, to me, help relationships, self-esteem, and life in general. Honesty without kindness can hurt people's feelings; resilience without kindness can lead to selfishness; and I can't think of anything that kindness could do without the others. So maybe the most important thing really is kindness.

I'm looking forward to reading your responses! I'll be back later if my computer lets me and when I have time. Have a peaceful day, Lee

[hollygail]

I admire clear thinking. Resourcefulness. Not wasting time (or words!). I say what I mean and mean what I say and prefer to be with people who do likewise (I'm not interested in playing games to figure out what people mean; if you're thirsty, ask for a glass of water, don't just complain that you're thirsty, that kind of thing). In my 20s, I had a boyfriend who complained that I was "blunt." So I learned how to "soften" the way I said things, but I still said what I meant. I had to learn to be diplomatic, and boy, has that come in handy for most of my life! I think respect may be on the top of my list, with honesty close behind. And I have no patience for beating around the bush and tend to ignore people who choose that route to communicate.

I have my weekly (usually Saturday afternoon) study session with my youngest DGS in almost a half hour. He's going to be 15 on Thanksgiving day. We've been studying weekly on the phone since he was a little more than 11 (he lives in rural Oregon, probably 8 or so hours from Angelika, more than an hour north of the California state line). It's one of the true highlights of my week every week. He's off from school today and tomorrow (and was last week Thursday and Friday too, so last week's session was on Friday) and asked if we could schedule time before the weekend again. Last week, we put aside our topic to decompress from the election results. He sent me a link to a Michael Moore article and we spent a little time talking about it (I sent him links to a few Jewish post-election sources).

Then later today, I'm driving about 30 or 35 miles north to tutor two girls, one of whom becomes bat mitzvah in January (she hasn't finished learning her three aliyot yet, so we haven't started her haftarah...), the other next summer. And DH took my car to the mechanic to fix one dead headlight (okay, replace, not fix) and get the brakes checked, along with whatever other maintenance the car needs. He promised to have it back before I have to go north.

[louise]

Character is always very high on the list for me - things can go wrong or whatever, but please let's call things what they are. I need to be able to trust the people I am working with or in any relationship with. A good heart, a logical mind, and a sense of humor would round out the package nicely.

[lee058]

Hi again everybody --- just looking in for a bit before dinner. I like the traits you came up with that you value! Thanks for sharing them.

Have a peaceful night, Lee

[gazelle18]

I like a lack of hypocrisy. I like a sense of humor and not taking oneself too seriously . I like resourcefulness and tenacity. And I REALLY like loyalty.

[happysavta]

What do I like in myself and what do I look for in other people? A willingness to pitch in and help one another, be there for each other.

[happysavta]

Today I went to T.J. Maxx and Marshall's. They have all their Christmas home decorations out and there's always a corner for Chanukah stuff. Unfortunately, I didn't bring a suitcase, so I'm not able to lug much home, but I'm gonna hit all the stores in San Diego when I get back.

It's funny what a large range there is in how people decorate for Chanukah. My son-in-law here in Houston is a purist. No decorations around the house. He's re-creating the Chanukah of his childhood for his children - bare walls. I did that when I raised my children. Christmas was so overwhelming that I didn't want to mimic it in any way. But after I had grandchildren.... see below.

My DDiL who is half Israeli and married to my oldest son, puts blue lights outside, Chanukah signs on her door, lots of shiny, glittery Chanukah signs and banners and her house is very bright with decorations. She doesn't hide being Jewish from the neighbors.

DDiL who is Catholic and is married to middle son, has full blown Christmas decorations down the banister, a Christmas tree full of ornaments, presents under the tree, Christmas lights outside. On the mantle are both Christmas and Chanukah signs. She has a Menorah too. I don't know if they light it.

In my house, I don't put any decorations outside, but I put a few Happy Chanukah banners in the dining room when we have our Chanukah party and dreidels and pennies on the table. I have lots of Chanukah themed large plates for the piles of Latkes and candy bowls, cake dishes etc. I even have a dreidel sugar bowl and creamer. And of course, Chanukah tablecloths and Chanukah bath towels and dish towels.

[peachymom1]

Hi everyone, I tried to post earlier today, but I kept getting interrupted. I had a particularly frustrating day at work, kept getting thwarted when trying to get things done, plus it's TOM and I'm a little cranky. :+(

I have very much enjoyed everyone's posts. I would add that I like it when people do not judge me and do not try to tell me how to spend my money, raise my kids, choose a husband, practice my religion, etc., etc. I really value loyalty too, and I've been surprised at times at how loyal some people have been (and unfortunately, how disloyal others have been) when I didn't expect it. People like that make me want to be better and do better.

We were talking today at work about loyalty between bosses and employees. I knew my boss was awesome, but I'm amazed at how many people in other departments hold her in such high regard. She lost her mother last Friday and has been out on bereavement leave, and tons of people have called and emailed me to ask about sending cards and flowers and about attending a funeral or memorial. It occurred to me that her team is loyal to her because she's loyal to us. She cares about us as people and we all know it. I've had bad bosses in my time, and I'd be happy even with an average one, but I have to say it is a joy to work for a mensch.

[hollygail]

If/when you have time, please take a look at this letter from a rabbi to the President-Elect. It's rather long, and frankly, I stopped reading a little more than halfway through (I kept it handy to read more when I'm less sleepy). Any feedback? Thanks.

www.meaningfullife.com/open-letter-president-elect-donald-j-trump/?utm_source=Meaningful+Life+Center&utm_campaign=b3f343849c-Vayeira_Newsletter&utm_medium=email&utm_term=0_0bcb4308af-b3f343849c-83982693&mc_cid=b3f343849c&mc_eid=394b87175c