Jewish Musings, Wednesday 5/8

[lee058]

What’s on your mind — how to make kugel? This week’s Torah reading? Life goals? Prayer? We are all engaged in weight loss/weight maintenance journeys and we are all Jewish or at least interested in Judaism. We like to eat, we like to discuss. It is our goal here to provide each other support on our journeys, to share experiences, to call on our rich cultural heritage and texts, and to help each other grow spiritually.

Some of us take weekly turns starting the thread:



Frieda (hopefully)?
Holly
Lee
Louise
Lynne
Peachy


And for those of you that stop by to read this thread without posting — you are welcome to, but you are also welcome to chime in. Don’t be shy!

[lee058]

Good morning everybody. Hope you are all well and SAFE! Please pray for Israel.

Today's topic: Birthdays.

Why birthdays, you might ask? It's my 66th today! I have a few thoughts and questions I'd like to share.

The main one is, how do I/we feel about getting older? Personally, I think it's great! I have problems but can live with them, and I also have many joys that enrich my life. I've survived this long, and God willing, will live longer and in better health. I am happy that I can say that; every day above ground is a GOOD day.

How about the mental and spiritual aspects of getting older? I think I am wiser than I used to be, or at least more adaptable and hopefully more tolerant. I used to think I knew practically everything, and now have learned to ask for advice and look things up because that just isn't true.

As for the physical aspects, there are a few things I want to comment on. My health is not good, but it's not terrible. I manage to get by with my medical team and my medications. I need to use a walker or a cane, depending on the circumstances, and am hoping to lose enough weight to have knee surgery. In the meantime, I have lost a fair amount of weight and get around as best as possible.

Not to be vain, but I am happy that my hair is still a nice brown and that my eyebrows are still thick. As for wrinkles, I consider them marks of (what's a good way to put this?) valor; they show that I've thought a lot and laughed a lot, and I will never get Botox (!!).

I feel that I've learned something new with every year. I am proud of that, even though, as I said above, the more I learn, the more I realize that I have MORE to learn. I try to read as much as I can, and talk with people about what is going on with them and the world. These help me connect!

So, to make a long story short, I think getting older is good (with the blessing of reasonably good health). Have a peaceful day, Lee

[hollygail]

Birthdays per se are not important to me. That is, I'm perfectly fine if no one realizes it's my birthday. However, getting older is a whole nother topic, at least for me.

I realized at some point in my middle 50s that my reaction time in the car was slower than it had been. That's really dangerous if you drive 70 or 75 on the freeway (which I had typically been doing). I hated it. I decided to ignore it for several years, when I finally accepted it and purposely drove farther from the far left lane (the "fast" lane). However, following last HHD, I realized I'd made more errors (after several years of pandemic services) mostly in the category of having forgotten to take care of specific "jobs" I'd always been in charge of. I did volunteer to join the current year's HHD team, and vowed to return to some of the older ways I'd done some of those jobs so they wouldn't be empty next HHD.

Perhaps the worst part of getting older, at least in my own life, is that DH aged quite a bit in the last year or so. He's gotten grouchy way more than he used to, and his memory is considerably worse regarding everyday things. I think I told you that I accompanied him on his last regularly scheduled doctor appointment to take notes and to ask his doctor to schedule two things for him: hearing and cognitive testing (both were scheduled, although the hearing test hasn't happened yet and it's mostly because of DH, not the MD's lack of follow through).

This may or may not have anything to do with aging, but since it may, I'm including it in today's thread. My rabbi said something to me recently in a tone she doesn't usually use and I felt almost like she was blaming me (for something specific, which I don't have to go into here). I vowed to change my way of tutoring regarding keeping her in the loop. I tutor at one congregation where the rabbi in charge of education sends a monthly email to all the tutors asking for an update on the kids each of us is tutoring (and I always respond) and at another congregation the rabbi has an online file for each student and we tutors are supposed to update the section about what's happening in the tutoring sessions, and I enter that information either after each tutoring session or after every other session for both of the sessions. So I decided to email my rabbi once a month with updates about each student I'm tutoring in my own congregation.

[gazelle18]

Happy birthday, Lee! Many, many, many more!
Some aspects of getting older are lovely. There are entire blotches of life I no longer care about and can safely ignore. For example, a couple of years ago I was asked to chair a committee in which I had no interest. The person asking me to do this, in an attempt to persuade me, reasoned that this would “look good on my record”. I politely replied that I was no longer interested in burnishing my resume.

I do think that with age, I have become wiser, more patient, and overall happier.

The down side for me is the realization that I can no longer do certain things, physically. I am in, thank God, excellent health - FOR MY AGE. And it’s those last three words that are aggravating.

I have not yet experienced mental decline, to my knowledge. But I’m super aware that this could be right around the corner.

For me, the key to aging well is to understand/compensate for age-related limitations. I need to adjust as I age (as Holly has done with her driving). I’m going to try to age gracefully, gratefully, and mindfully.

[peachymom1]

Happy birthday, Lee! I hope you have a wonderful day and a fabulous year!

I love birthdays, my own and everyone else's. I feel positive about growing older - I have definitely gained wisdom and insight, and I hope I never stop doing that. As I've gotten older, I have also become more forgiving of my own limitations and shortcomings, and I don't sweat the small stuff nearly as much as when I was younger.

I don't see my physical issues as terrible limitations -- instead, I'm grateful for what I do have and what I can do. I am especially grateful to live in a time and place where I have access to good medical care and physical therapy. I want to be as active as I can for as long as I can. That goes a long way with my mental health as well.

[louise]

In many ways I am better than I ever was. As Lee points out I realize more and more how little I kow but I also appreciate so much the scope of things. I am more comfortable with myself that I have ever been before. I'm proud of my age but at this particular juncture I am so aware of my declining physical abilies. I'm working hard to minimize that by workt there's only so much I can do and I have to admit that I am feeling afraid.

[lee058]

Back again. Thanks for all the warm birthday wishes!! I think our group is just the nicest bunch of people.

DS and I went out to eat at our favorite Jewish deli; we had corned beef hash and it was really good. For a birthday treat, I got my hair done. It's now just below my shoulders. I haven't had it this short for years, and I am feeling light and comfortable.

Now I am planning on just relaxing for the rest of the day and evening. I am happy, including happy to know all of you!!

Lee

[peachymom1]

What a great birthday treat, Lee! And I can't wait to see your new 'do!