Jewish Musings, Monday, August 26

[louise]

What’s on your mind — how to make kugel? This week’s Torah reading? Life goals? Prayer? We are all engaged in weight loss/weight maintenance journeys and we are all Jewish or at least interested in Judaism. We like to eat, we like to discuss. It is our goal here to provide each other support on our journeys, to share experiences, to call on our rich cultural heritage and texts, and to help each other grow spiritually.

Some of us take weekly turns starting the thread:
Frieda (hopefully)?
Holly
Lee
Louise
Lynne
Peachy

And for those of you that stop by to read this thread without posting — you are welcome to, but you are also welcome to chime in. Don’t be shy!

[louise]

You all know that my therapist, rightly or wrongly, is the love of my life. He has just been diagnosed with Great Cell Arteritis. I had never heard of it. I researched it online and I see that it is both serious and handleable with medication. You won’t be surprised when I tell you that I “knew” something was seriously wrong when he texted me that he wasn’t feeling well and wouldn’t be able to keep our appointment last week. I could feel it. I can’t say for certain what I felt because you also know that I had just been to a funeral and several shiva calls the previous week and so was already on emotional overload. But I knew.

A few things come to mind.
One is about sickness coming from out of nowhere that changes our lives. It happens in a moment.
Another is about the incredible advances that have been made in medicine.
Another is about gratitude for my health.
Another is about when you “just know”.

Over the years we have shared any number of stories – Peachy’s daughter came to mind right away on a few of these points. And Frieda. I won’t try to list them all. What comes to mind for you?

[hollygail]

When I read "sickness coming from out of nowhere that changes our lives" I immediately thought of the pandemic and how it changed my own life. I haven't had Covid but that's not what I'm talking about. I isolated (as did much of the world) as soon as I was supposed to. My entire life changed (as did the lives of so many other people). I'm still home most of the time. I don't like it; I much preferred my life prior to the pandemic (also DH's, as long as I'm confessing). I felt more alive; I still feel like I'm "living" less than I used to. I don't want this particular "new" normal.

Rereading the list and thinking about when I "just knew" something, knowing when DM died came to mind. She had been diagnosed with uterine cancer in December of 1994 and had a hysterectomy in January of 1995. I'm the one who went to her house before surgery to drive her to the hospital (and help her with the preparations the night before) and went to the paperwork with her at the hospital the next morning. The clerk (at one point) was asking her questions, including something like, "are you aware that you won't be able to become pregnant after the surgery" (this question, to an 85-year-old woman!!!) when I turned to DM to say something like, "well, Daddy died a long time ago, so of course you won't" and her retort to me was, "Holly, you don't have to be married any more to get pregnant!" (she was never the funny one; that was DF!). I was floored! When the surgery ended, the surgeon came out to the waiting room to talk to DS and me. He told us (among other things) that the cancer had already spread and when we asked about the prognosis, he told us she probably had about 9 months left. On Labor Day weekend the following September, DH and I were driving from San Diego to LA for the weekend. On the way, I was crying, reading psalms (what people do who are waiting with the corpse for the mortuary people to pick it up) and I chanted the vidui (the prayer one is supposed to say before dying; it is not that unusual for someone to say it for the dying person, although usually it is done in the same room as the person is in). Abruptly the crying stopped. I turned to DH to say, "she just died." He said, "how do you know?" I said, "Because I just stopped crying." I "just knew." I asked him the time (which he gave me) and when we walked into DM's, DS said, "she went" or "she died" or "you missed her" or whatever. I said, "yes, I know. It was at" and I told her the time. She wanted to know how I knew and I told her "that's when the crying stopped" or "that's when I stopped crying." She knew that I'd known. (DS also "knows" things. When she was already living in LA and I was in Boston and told her by phone I was pregnant, she got very excited and at not long afterwards told me it was a boy. Not even the OB I saw every single time she told me to come back took a guess.)

[lee058]

Good morning everybody. Hope you are all well and SAFE! Please pray for Israel.

DS and I suddenly got colds, so no Scrabble with our friend Carol today. We are disappointed, but I don't want to risk getting her sick.

Re today's topic: What immediately came to my mind was when my DGM Goldie died. I was out at a concert, and out of nowhere, felt that I had to leave and go home. When I got home, the phone was ringing. It was my mom telling me that DGM had just died. Strange how these things happen.

Have a peaceful day, Lee

[gazelle18]

I have a friend , about our age, who says that “We are all just one phone call away from disaster.” By this she means something like: “At our age, there is a lot that can go wrong, and it often comes out of the blue.” I definitely have this feeling. One the one hand, it’s scary. On the other hand, it instructs us to enjoy the good and healthy and happy days we have left.

This “out of the blue” thing also happens to me with loved ones. I’m keenly aware that at any moment my DS will call with some new disaster, or my DH will report a new medical symptom , or a friend will call with the news of another friend being diagnosed with Alzheimer’s. Sometimes life feels like we are walking on a tightrope.

[peachymom1]

I don't have the gift of "just knowing," though I know people who do. When I learn of something bad, my first thought is, what can I do to help? My next thought is usually, I'm thankful it isn't worse. I'm also thankful for medical research, technology, and the incredible people who do what they do to ease our suffering and make us well, when possible.

I've been thinking about Frieda and hoping she's OK.