Jewish Musings, Monday 9/23

[lee058]

What’s on your mind — how to make kugel? This week’s Torah reading? Life goals? Prayer? We are all engaged in weight loss/weight maintenance journeys and we are all Jewish or at least interested in Judaism. We like to eat, we like to discuss. It is our goal here to provide each other support on our journeys, to share experiences, to call on our rich cultural heritage and texts, and to help each other grow spiritually.


Some of us take weekly turns starting the thread:


Holly
Lee
Louise
Lynne
Peachy


And for those of you that stop by to read this thread without posting — you are welcome to, but you are also welcome to chime in. Don’t be shy!

[lee058]

Good morning everybody. Hope you are all well and SAFE! Please pray for Israel.

Today's topic: Dealing with fear.

How do you deal with fear? I'm not thinking just of Jewish-related issues and situations, although they are definitely on my mind. What do you do, how do you think, and how do you feel?

For me, I have to admit that I am sometimes afraid about how life is going with the larger Jewish community in the USA, especially on college campuses, and around the world. Israel is constantly on my mind, too. I have never seen such blatant anti-semitism coming from so many types of people, and it's scary. I wouldn't want to be attending college now, or have a kid trying to cope with the various situations that are all over the news.

The reason I picked this topic today is because I had a bad dream this morning; the type that wakes you up abruptly and practically shaking. This doesn't happen often with me fortunately. What I did: I immediately got out of bed, went to the bathroom, and kept telling myself that it was just a dream and it was over, over, over.

In general, I find that the best way to cope with fear is to do as much as I can to head it off. I try to prepare myself for scary situations when they are unavoidable. If I am driving someplace new, for example (not even someplace unsafe!), I plan my route as best as possible. If I am going to a new building, especially for medical reasons, I sometimes will go on an earlier day to scope out the directions. Generally I call the office or look online to find out as much as possible.

When I am in a new building, I carefully look for my path to and from where I am going. I note the Exit signs when possible, and check for safety.

I would like to share a story from when I was in college. It may be disturbing, but the way things have been going, it's more likely that it will call for a nod of recognition, unfortunately. I was at a demonstration (yes, I used to do that). Everything was going very well; everyone was peaceful, I liked the speakers and what they had to say, and I was there with friends. Then came someone who said he wanted to talk about people who inspired him. He said the PLO was a group that he identified with. Well, I felt like I had been hit with a ton of bricks. I looked around, and everyone else looked happy, and things seemed just the same as they had a minute ago, except for me. I was upset and astounded. I made some excuse and told my friends that I had to leave. They didn't object, as it was starting to rain, so we left. I can't remember if we talked about it or not; I don't think any of my friends were Jewish. All I knew was that I had an overwhelming feeling of danger like I had never felt before, and had to get out of there.

Would you have done anything differently?

I've run into anti-semitic situations before and after, but this was the first one that affected me so deeply.

I need to stop now; I have a tele-med appointment soon. Have a peaceful day, Lee

[peachymom1]

Fear is more debilitating to me than pain. I do everything I can to avoid it. And when I can't avoid it, I ask for help in facing it. Sometimes I ask people around me, sometimes I ask God. I ask for courage, or for people/God to just be with me. So far, I have overcome every source or instance of fear in my life, with this strategy.

I've shared this poem before, but it's my favorite of all time, and it seems appropriate to the topic:

Life is mostly froth and bubble;
Two things stand like stone:
Kindness in another's trouble
Courage in your own.

by Adam Lindsay Gordon

[hollygail]

Courage in your own. Good advice! Thanks, Peachy.

I'm sitting here trying to remember a time I was truly scared. I must have blocked all those times out of my mind. I can't believe I've never experienced fear in my life. But I cannot remember even one event right now... I wonder if I just push my way through it...

[gazelle18]

I’ve been in a few scary situations, and thankfully I made it through! I have a couple of stubborn fears that won’t go away. One is fear of flying in a plane. This is a problem for me because DH and I fly ALL THE TIME. I’ve tried various techniques to overcome the fear, and they sometimes work. Somewhat related, I have a fear of falling from a great height.

But these types of fears are different from generalized fear about the way the world is going. This second type of fear is more rational, and I can usually talk myself into reframing the situation so that it is more bearable.